


Monster

by MySecretStories



Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, mentioned torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:15:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 55,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27226411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MySecretStories/pseuds/MySecretStories
Summary: Dick Grayson didn't want to get up at 4 am, despite the bell ringing non-stop. But when he finds Tim on his doorstep, dressed as the Joker and covered in blood, he was glad he did open the door.Tim Drake went missing three weeks ago. And the very first words Dick could pry out of him were:"I killed the Joker."
Relationships: Tim Drake/Dick Grayson, Tim Drake/Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Comments: 280
Kudos: 689
Collections: Best of the Batfamily





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I said I was going to write a fluff JayTim next, but somehow I just can't. This story came to me so easily, so I stopped fighting against the flow...
> 
> Also, I keep referring to Tim as a boy, I don't know why, but he is 21 in this story. The ages are as follows.  
> Tim: 21  
> Jason: 25  
> Dick: 29  
> Damian: 14  
> Bruce: around 43-45 
> 
> Alfred is ageless and will live forever, despite what current comic writers are doing, they can eat my ass.

It was four in the morning. Dick wasn't one to swear usually, but even he had thought of a few words he wanted to say. Because it was freaking four in the morning. He had gotten in two hours ago and only managed to get in an hour of sleep before his bell rang. He wanted to ignore it. He wanted to ignore it so bad. But it rang again. And again and again.

Dick pushed himself out of bed and made a face. The Nightwing suit was discarded on the floor, but the visitor is hopefully either another vigilante, or someone who doesn't want to come in, so he left it there. He pulled on a sweatpants from the foot of the bed and went to the door. He didn't bother putting on a shirt. He didn't think to check before opening the door. He took in a breath to ask what the visit was about, but the breath caught in his throat.

The first thing he noted was the smell. It made his stomach flip, but he resisted the urge to gag as he took in the form on his doorstep. The guy's black hair was in knots, standing all over the place as if it hadn't been combed for weeks. His tiny frame all but disappeared in the ugly purple suit he was wearing. The paint on his face was smudged by the tears, saliva and snot running down his cheeks. But the worst was the blood that covered all of his clothes and his hands, and the eyes, that usually shone with such intellect was now glazed over with apathy as if it was of a doll.

"Timmy..." Dick breathed out, but before the younger could answer he grabbed him and brought him inside his apartment. He gave the corridor outside a once over to make sure nobody saw them before closing the door and locking it securely. He then turned back to Tim. "Where were you? We've been looking for you for weeks!" he whispered and grabbed his face gently, not caring that the paint and the dirt got all over his hands.

Tim didn't answer. He just stood there, playing with his blood-covered hands, letting Dick cradle his face in his palms. His lips fell open, but only to breath.

Dick took a second to assess him better. The clothes obviously weren't his. The pants covered his entire feet and he was walking on them as if he was a child trying on his father's clothing. The only thing that kept the pants up on him were the ropes bound around his waist. He was sickly thin, judging by how tight the ropes were. The dress shirt had once been orange and the tie green, but now they were both coated with deep red as well as the purple suit jacket. Despite every single one of his senses screaming against it, he hugged the boy against his chest.

"God, what happened to you?" he whispered as he stepped back.

"I..." Tim's voice was hoarse as he lifted his gaze onto Dick. "I killed the Joker."

Dick's heart stopped for a second. His chest ached, his brain went into overdrive with the thousands of questions he wanted to ask at once. But he didn't voice any of them. He just turned on the light in the bathroom and gently lead Tim in there. He forced a smile onto his face, hoping for it to have a calming effect.  
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Tim didn't say anything, and Dick didn't want him to. He closed the lid onto the toilet and sat the younger man down. He took off the suit jacket first and threw it out of the bathroom. He will have to burn them later, not only because of their state, but because now it was sure they had been the Joker's. He then got down onto his knees and gently pulled up the pants' legs to see if Tim was wearing shoes at all. His hands shook with rage when he saw them taped to his legs. They were layered on so many times there was no way he could get through them manually. He looked up at Tim with a smile again.  
"I have to cut these off. I'll be right back," he said. He kept glancing back the whole time, just to see the boy sitting there the way he left him. But even like that, he grabbed the first pair of scissors and ran back inside.

"Here we go," he whispered in fake easiness as he slowly started cutting through the tape. The blade touched the skin under all the layers, but Tim didn't even flinch, he just kept watching Dick with those glassy eyes. Dick threw the shoes after the suit, taking in the bloodied feet under those. He didn't spend time ogling at them, he went for the pants next. The scissors weren't big or sharp enough to cut through the rope, so he had to undo the knot by hand, but once it was undone, the pants fell around Tim's hips like a pool of fabric on the toilet lid. He stood without a word when Dick told him too, and didn't even try to cover himself up when Dick took the pants off him. Sure, Dick has seen him naked before, when they were showering in the cave. But this was different. The muscles were almost nonexistent, his bones showing everywhere. The shirt reached down to his mid-thighs, but soon that followed the rest of the clothes, and Tim was left completely naked in the bathroom.

"Let's get showered first, then I'll make you a bath and help you work your hair out," he assured with a smile, and Tim just nodded a little. Dick helped him into the stall and quickly shed his sweatpants to follow him inside. He took the little towel beside the sink and held it under the shower head until the water was warm enough. Then he gently nudged Tim under the stream and with slow, careful motion started wiping the paint off his face. The water was dark brown by their feet from everything it washed off the younger, but Dick did his best to ignore it. He just wiped off the make-up and did his best not to frown or show any emotions at the bruises and scars the dirt hid until then. He let the towel fall onto the ground and reached for the shower gel. He had a subtle thought that they will have to use up the entire bottle. It happened slowly, but eventually the scent of the soap repressed the stench that came with Tim when the younger entered his flat. Dick massaged it into the younger's skin, cataloguing every scar he found on the way, his heart sinking with every new one.

He got out of the shower first, quickly drying off and putting his pants back on, before he helped Tim out of there and into the bathtub. He quickly let warm water into it before the boy would get too cold. Once the tub was full, he grabbed his hairbrush.  
"Now, let's get this bad boy combed," he tried to joke, but Tim's face didn't even spazm. And even though sometimes Dick had to tear his hair to work through a knot, Tim didn't move, he didn't flinch. He just sat there, hugging his knees and staring at the tiles on front of him.

"Lean back, please," Dick asked and kept his hand on Tim's nape to keep his head above the water when the younger lay back. Some dirt floated over the water, but his hair finally didn't look like a birds nest. Dick gave it a few last brushed before he pulled back. "All done. I'll bring you some clothes and you can get out before you get all wrinkly." He kissed the top of the younger's head, finally without getting nauseated.

He helped him dry off, change and dry his hair, before leading him into the bedroom. The sun was already coming up. He shut the blinds before he wrapped Tim up tightly in the covers. He ran his fingers through the now soft hair as he sat onto the edge off the bed.  
"I won't ask you to tell me everything that happened to you. But I need to you tell me what happened tonight so I can help," he said softly. Tim looked up at him, but didn't say a word. Dick reached down and took his hand, lacing their fingers together. "Please, Timmy. I want to help, but I can't if I don't know what's going on." He was surprised by the sheer desperation in his own voice. Tim watched him for a long moment, before turning his gaze away.

"Please don't tell Bruce," was the only thing he said, and even this was so quiet Dick only caught it, because the apartment was otherwise deadly silent. He squeezed the bony fingers a bit in reassurance.

"I promise."

Tim curled into a small ball under the blanket, pulling it up to his chin. He reciprocated Dick's hold on his hand, his fingers curling around the bigger hand in his.  
"He said, tonight was the night. That... He was going to make me smile and dunk me into liquid fun. So I beat him, and I ran," he said it in a matter fact tone, his eyes once again cold and apathic.

"How did you do it?" Dick asked, but didn't receive an answer this time. Watching the younger's face and eyes, he could see his brain putting up a barrier to keep those parts away from his mind. So he quickly changed the topic. "You don't have to talk about that. Tell me how you got here?" he requested in gentle tone. Blüdhaven was half an hour of a drive away from Gotham, there was no way Tim got there on foot. Firstly, because he was in no physical state to walk that long, and secondly because there was no way nobody would notice him walking around in the Joker's clothes, covered in blood.

"There were cars outside. I took one of them," Tim answered. His fingers twitched in Dick's hold.

"Okay. Can you please write down the place you were in?" Dick asked, reaching for a pen and a note on his bedside table. He wanted to let go of Tim's hand so he could write, but Tim's hold tightened on his hand. It was weak, despite the obvious effort the younger put into it.

"Please, don't tell Bruce!" that was the first emotion Dick could see in his eyes. The obvious panic at the thought of Bruce finding out. Dick quickly leaned over him and pressed a kiss to his hair, holding him gently until Tim calmed down.

"I won't. I won't, I promise. But I have to get somebody to take care of it, before anyone finds out. But I swear Bruce won't find out until you yourself are ready to tell him," he said, running his thumb over the back of Tim's hand.

"Really?"

"Really. He will not get anything from me, or the help I'm calling," he said, and held back the sigh of relief when he felt Tim nod against his shoulder. "Thank you." He pulled his hand out of the younger's so he could write down the address, then settled down on the floor beside the bed. When Tim looked at him, he smiled. "I'll stay here until you fall asleep."

The boy nodded, and pulled the cover's even higher and tighter around himself, as if those could protect him from the demons of the world. Dick's heart ached for him. He was there to fight off opponents if needed, but he couldn't defeat the monsters in Tim's mind.

He waited almost an hour before eventually standing up from the floor. Tim had been asleep for over half an hour, but Dick didn't want to move in case that would woke him up. So he waited until he was asleep deep enough for him to move around.

He closed the door behind himself gently and let out a sigh. The sun was high in the sky already, the blue wasn't covered by a single cloud. It was ironic that it was always cloudy in Blüd and Gotham, and yet on the most awful morning it was clear. He leaned against the kitchen window and first called the station to call in sick, so he could stay home with Tim. Then he rang the other number.

For a long while, the call wasn't taken. When he was just about ready to hang up, the voice cut through.  
"The fuck, Dickhead?" the voice was rough with sleep, his speech slurred. He obviously woke him up.

"I need your help."

"But I don't want to help you. Night."

"The Joker is dead," Dick called out before he could hang up. For a moment there was complete silence on the other end, but he didn't hang up.

"Did you kill him?"

"No, someone else did. But I need you to take care of the body and the place itself," he answered. He looked back at the door of his bedroom, but it was still closed like he left it.

"Why me?"

"Because you're the only one who knows what to do, Jay. I can't leave and this needs to be taken care of before a civilian or worse finds it," he said, hugging himself with his free arm. He should've put on a shirt before.

"Does B know?"

"No, and it needs to stay that way."

Jason let out a surprised laugh.  
"What? The fuck did you get yourself into, Dick?"

Dick couldn't bring himself to laugh.  
"Just do it, please. I'll answer your questions afterwards."

He waited for a second, then he heard Jason sigh.  
"Fine. But you owe me." he hung up without saying anything else. Dick exhaled slowly and ran his fhand through his hair. What did he get himself into, truly... But he didn't spare it a second thought as he went back into the bedroom and took his place beside the bed once again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the chapters will be about the mental effect the ordeal left with Tim, but this is one of the more violent ones in regards that what Tim did to the Joker is explained in this one.

Tim Drake disappeared three weeks ago. There was no sign of GPS from him, despite that every part of his costume had one built into it. Nobody got through to him. Not Alfred, not Bruce, not any of his friends.

Some said, it was like when he was looking for Bruce in time, and that eventually there would be a sighting of him and they could just go there, grab him and bring him home. Then they said, he must be with Young Justice. When they got to the point of desperation when they asked them, the members flipped their shit and it was just luck that Superboy didn't shoot Dick through with laser.

After two weeks, this ceased being their number one case, because the Gotham villains didn't sleep, even if the bats seriously needed the break to focus on something else. So they left one computer running, looking for the boy, while the rest was put on another use.

Nobody bothered to check the closed off basement of the power-station running right beside the border of Gotham.

********************

To say that Dick was on edge was an understatement. It's been hours since Jason put the phone down, and Dick hasn't heard a word from him. Tim was still asleep, and the only way Dick knew that he was alive was because of his breathing. He suppressed a yawn as he once again refreshed the news feed on his phone. On one hand, he knew that Jason would be able to take care of everything without it getting out, but he was also paranoid. He could almost see the headlines.

_"The Joker found dead! Is Gotham safe again?"_

_"Did Batman break to no-kill rule to murder the Joker?"_

_"The Joker's dead! Who's the culprit?"_

And then they would start an investigation, because of course they would, even if the people of Gotham would probably throw a carneval that the Joker is finally done for. And while the GCPD would not find anything, Bruce definitely would and it would only take him a few days before he found out it was Tim, then he would try to resurrect the Joker and wouldn't speak to Tim for who knows long, and...

Dick's head was spiralling and he could feel himself loosing control. Luckily, the doorbell rang and stopped him from going even deeper into the abyss. He shot up from his place on the floor before the bell could ring again so it wouldn't wake Tim. He closed the door as gently as he could and barely made it to the front door before Jason pressed the bell again. The younger man raised an eyebrow as he took him in.

"Welp, Dickie, you owe me some answers because that job was harder than expected. So get yourself together," he said. He didn't even wait for Dick to invite him in, he simply pushed him aside and walked in. He wore some camouflaged cargo pants and black leather jacket. His hands and boots were clean, so he probably changed before anyone could suspect anything. Dick closed his eyes to suppress his irritation before closing the door.

"I will, just keep your voice down," he whispered. He knew Jason could be a little shit, but he hoped he wouldn't have to deal with that. He should've known better.

"You're not alone?" Jason grinned and Dick could almost see the plan to shout forming in his head.

"No, I'm not. Timmy's sleeping in my bedroom," he said, straight to the point. At least this was enough to shock Jason into staying relatively quiet.

"The Replacement is here?"

Dick nodded his head slowly and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He lead them to the kitchen so Tim would be less likely to hear them.  
"Yeah, he arrived last night. I don't know what happened to him before last night, but by four in the morning he was here," he said, looking out of the window. He watched Jason's reflection in the glass as the man took a deep breath.

When he spoke, he kept his voice low.  
"Was he the one who did it?" he asked. Dick nodded and waited for Jason to crack a joke or make a remark about Tim's usually gray morals or burst into celebrations about the Joker's death. But Jason only leaned against the kitchen counter and rubbed his palm over his face.

Dick didn't want to know what the younger must have seen. He already felt like throwing up, just by imagining what could possibly be there. But despite that, he asked.  
"How was it?"

Jason looked at him from the corner of his eyes.  
"Do you want to hear the worse or the worst?" he asked.

Dread settled over Dick's chest. He turned back to Jason.  
"I don't know."

"There was so much blood," Jason shook his head at the thought to send the memory away. "Granted, most of it was the Joker's. But the rest of the place... It was inhuman. And I've seen shit before." he fell silent and Dick didn't ask him any more questions. Jason pulled out a chair and fell onto it, leaning back. His jacket fell to the side to reveal two guns strapped to his chest and there were more around his waist and thighs. He let his head fall back and looked at the ceiling as he asked: "What happened last night?"

Dick shuddered at the thought and glanced at his bedroom door.  
"He came here around four as I said. He was wearing the Joker's clothes, he had his face painted, covered in blood. God, he stunk so bad. I cleaned him up and put him to bed. There is no part of him that isn't injured." In his mind, he could see the bruised up boy as if he was standing right before him. Every single scar, the bruises that ruined his milky skin.

"What did he say? " Jason didn't move from his position.

"Not much. He said he killed the Joker and begged me not to tell Bruce. All I got from him was that the Joker wanted to dunk him into liquid fun, so he beat him and left. I could barely get the address out of him."

"There was like a pool of liquid Joker poison. A shitton of it, honestly," Jason groaned before he finally lifted his head back up. "Like this, it's clear what happened."

That was not something Dick wanted to hear. Not about this.  
"So he really did kill him?"

Jason nodded.  
"Yeah," he put his elbows on the table. "If my assessments are right, he was bound to a chair that had been nailed to the floor. His legs weren't bound to the chair but to the floor instead. When the Joker told him he would dunk him in that shit, Tim probably got enough of an adrenalin rush to get enough power to tear his legs up and break his chair's legs. He then used that to beat the Joker to death. The chair must have broke while he was hitting the Joker with it, because he used one of the legs to stab him in the throat."

"Oh god, " Dick closed his eyes. He really didn't want to hear this. He truly didn't want to know.

"But I mean... Is it really surprising? If he truly looks that shit, he was probably tortured for weeks. And when the Joker told him he will make him into a mini-Joker, he probably lost it. Instincts took over and suddenly it was kill or be killed," he shrugged as if it was no big deal. The haunted look in his eyes stayed. He wasn't bothered by the act of Tim killing, but it easily could've reminded him of his own death. Dick didn't even think about that. He wanted to give him a hug, but knew better than to try it.

"I know. Even people like us have a breaking point. It's just that Bruce wouldn't understand," he sighed and rubbed his bridge of his nose. They were in deep shit.

"That's fucking sure," Jason groaned. He looked like he was about to say something, but then there was a sharp intake of breath in the bedroom, almost like a scream, and Dick didn't even think twice before running back to the room and throwing the door open. The doorknob slammed against the wall and the loud noise was enough to send Tim tumbling behind the bed and curling into himself on the floor.

"Timmy, Timmy, it's okay. It's me, Dick. You're safe," he said softly, gently touching his shoulder. Tim didn't look up, he stayed curled up to protect his organs. Dick leaned over him and covered him with his body. "He's not here, he's not coming back. You're safe now. Nobody's going to hurt you," he assured in a gentle tone. 

He looked towards the door to see Jason standing there. He was watching them with unreadable eyes. He probably knew all too well what kind of nightmares the third Robin might have had. Except that he didn't have anyone to comfort him. Dick wanted to talk to him about this, he needed to make sure Jason knew he could come to him, even if the younger would just flip him off. But he feared what Tim might do if he left him alone with his thoughts in that moment. So he stayed. He reached for Tim's hand and held it as the boy finally started to relax.

"That's it. You're doing so well, " he whispered, gently caressing the back of his hand. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Dick eventually sat up and gently helped Tim into a sitting position. The shirt he gave him during the night fell off his shoulder, revealing a long scar that ran through his shoulder and the collarbone that stood out unhealthily. It was horrendous, but despite that, Dick smiled at him.

"Let's roll the pants up again, shall we?" he asked, scouting back enough so he could take Tim's foot into his lap. He wanted to give him a leggins after his bath, but that would've just fallen off his hips, so they settled on a soft pair of sweatpants they could tie. And rolled up the bottom of the legs, so he wouldn't step on them.

Tim didn't say anything, but didn't protest. He looked over to the door, finally noticing Jason. His eyes widened a bit, but it wasn't enough for Jason to read any emotion off his face.  
"'Sup, Replacement?" he asked to break the ice. Now he could see what Dick meant earlier. He could see the scar, but it was the hand shaped bruise around his neck that really got his attention. There was another one on his jaw, but his face was otherwise unscathed. His cheeks were hollow as he probably barely got any food in the last weeks, his eyes glassy and empty. He looked like hell, but honestly, Jason expected nothing else after what he saw down there. Because after all, they may be vigilantes, but they were also humans, and no human could keep their dignity while spending three weeks in a basement with a clinically insane monster.

Dick gave Tim a smile as he rolled up the material, revealing his feet. He gently caressed the part that wasn't bruised.  
"I called him to take care of the things. He won't tell Bruce, don't worry," he said, before pulling Tim's other foot into his lap to gdo the same.

"Yeah, but while you're at it, you should take blood samples and run them, in case he got something during his time there," Jason commented, leaning against the doorframe. He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"True, good idea," Dick nodded and pushed himself up from the floor. He ran his fingers through Tim's hair. "I'll be right back," he whispered before walking out of the room. Jason didn't move, but also didn't stop him from leaving. He didn't say a word, just turned his gaze to the ground, knowing that Tim was avoiding his gaze as well.

"You... you saw that..." Tim started, his voice so hoarse it broke. He still didn't look at Jason, he continued glaring down at his hands in his lap.

Jason had multiple ways in his mind to end that sentence. One of them was worse than the other.  
"What happened down there, stays down there, Replacement. The others will never see it, and I will pretend to have forgotten it. You will never have to talk about it," he said, watching the younger's reaction. His face stayed closed off, but he nodded his head in understanding.

"Thank you," he breathed out so softly both of them could easily pretend it never happened. By the time to arrived back with stuff they needed, they were completely silent. Dick drew the blood and left to test it and Jason sighed.

"Ya want some breakfast?" he asked. He honestly doubted Dick had any normal food in his cabinet, but looking at Tim, any food would do. But much to his chagrin, Tim shook his head.

He was way over the point where he felt anything like hunger.

"Won't you even try a toast?" Dick asked, stopping for a moment by Jason's side to look at the boy.

"I just want some coffee..." Tim muttered to himself, and Dick couldn't help but chuckle. There were some things that never changed.

Jason only rolled his eyes.  
"Well, that sucks, Replacement, because it would only fuck up your stomach if you drank it now. But I'll give you coffee flavoured candy if you eat a toast," he offered, and this finally made him look up.

His face didn't change, his eyes still empty.  
"What am I, a kid?" he asked. Had he been his normal self, there would've been a playful twinkle in his eyes. Right now, he was just a hollow shell of who he used to be.

"You want it or not?" Jason asked, a bit harsher than he probably intended. Dick gave him a dirty look, but then turned to Tim again. The boy nodded. Dick was afraid his smile was going to split his face in half.

"I do..." he said and slowly stood up from the ground. Standing up, it was even clearer what bad state he was in. He walked carefully, both his foot hurting from the scars, but he didn't say anything. Dick will have to bandage them, but he wanted to give it time to air before binding it into something again. They were probably forced into those shoes for a long time. His jaw clenched at the thought. He knew Jason noticed the look on his face, but when Tim stepped to them, Dick put his smile back on his face.

"Come on. Is tea good instead of coffee?" he asked gently, and ran his hand down Tim's back a few times. He held back the wince as he only felt his spine and shoulder blades protruding under his palm.

"Yeah..." Tim answered and sat down onto the first seat he could find. He pulled his legs up to his chest and hugged them tightly. Jason took place in front of him, refusing to help with anything as Dick started to fuss around the kitchen. The silence was suffocating, but it was impossible to break it. Jason was unwilling to do small talk, and pulling words out of Tim was doomed from the start. For once in his life, Dick didn't know what to say.

The ping of the bloodwork being done came in as a heavenly bells. Dick immediately dropped the kettle back onto the counter, not bothering to put it onto the stove to boil.  
"That's the test! I'll be right back," he said, a tad bit louder than he wanted to. As fast as he could, he made his way out of the kitchen.

Jason watched as Tim followed Dick with his eyes. He wanted to comment on the boy's crush on Dick, but held it back as he analysed it further. It wasn't the same pleading and panicked look he had when he first saw Jason. His eyes were devoid of emotion, but Jason knew him well enough at this point to understand the slight frown between his brows and the way he held his lips. He was thinking, calculating his next move carefully. The only tick that showed he was nervous was the way his hand clutched onto the material of his sweatpants. By the time Tim actually turned to him and called his name, he wasn't even surprised. He only cocked his head to the side to prompt him to spit it out.

Tim looked after Dick once again before he started.  
"You saw how much gas was down there. I... wasn't dunked into it, but... I was there for so long..." he started, clutching the material even tighter.

"Yeah?"

"If... anything were to go wrong with me... If I became like him again..." he stopped for a moment to see if Dick was coming back. "Then kill me."

It took Jason every single ounce of self-control in his body not to show his surprise on his face. But he set his jaw and kept his muscles relaxed. Tim didn't look him in the eyes, so he wouldn't see his surprise in them. Luckily. He didn't answer anything, but Tim must have taken that as a no, because he immediately started explaining himself.

"Look, I know it's a big thing to ask for, but... I can't ask Dick this. He wouldn't do it. But if... If I end up like him..." The panic once again settled in those deep blue eyes, his whole body shaking. He took a deep breath and shakily exhaled before meeting Jason's eyes for the first time. "I'd rather be dead than be like him."

Jason still didn't say anything. He could hear Dick's footsteps, he was coming back. There was nothing he could say. Yes, he tried to kill Tim multiple times before. But that was then. Now the guy was one of the few members of the bats he could actually tolerate and even grew to like. But if he really were to end up like the Joker... Jason swallowed. He didn't know what to say. For once, he truly had no idea what he should do.

Dick's footsteps came closer. Tim reached out, his bony hand grabbing Jason's, every part of his screaming in fear and desperation.  
"Promise me. Please, promise me," he whispered. He pulled his hand back before Dick entered the room.

Jason didn't give him an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, leave a comment after yourself! :) Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!! WARNING!!!! WARNING!!!!
> 
> So, this isn't exactly SUICIDAL, but something really close to that. It's never openly stated as such, that's why it's not in the tags, but it's truly really akin to that, so please keep that in mind.

Dick put Tim to bed as if he was a child. He wrapped up all his scars after bath, helped him dress to keep the fabric clear of the bruises as much as possible before he wrapped him in a blanket. And even then he only left once he judged that the boy was soundly asleep. He then closed the door after himself as silently as he could before going into the living room. Jason has been nice enough to only smoke by the window, and yet the whole room smelled like smoke anyway. Dick made a face, but sat down onto the couch.

Jason flicked the butt of the cigarette onto the streets before he closed the window and leaned against the windowsill. Dick gave him a sad look as he leaned against the backrest.  
"What are we going to do, Jason?" he asked, running his hand through his hair.

Jason quickly shook his head.  
"No, Dickhead. What are YOU going to do, because you're not dragging into this mess any deeper. I only stayed 'till now because you promised me answers," he reminded the older. At moments like these was Dick grateful he knew the others as well as he did. For anyone else, Jason's expression would've been closed off and aggressive. He was in the big, bad Red Hood mode. But Dick knew better. It was fear that set the younger off.

So he let out a sigh.  
"What questions do you have?" he asked. He was tired. He was used to being constantly on guard and pulling all nighters, but right now he wasn't only physically exhausted. He only wanted to crawl into bed with Tim and sleep until the younger woke him up. But Jason also needed attention and answers, and Dick be damned if he left Jason alone after the guy was reminded of his past with the Joker.

"The fuck are you going to do about Bruce?" Of course, he immediately went for the thousand dollar question.

"Ask two and easier," he breathed out. He hoped this would enough, but Jason only cocked an eyebrow. "I don't know, Jay. I honestly don't know."

"You can't hide him forever."

"But I might as well try. I'll even call in Superboy and have him hide Tim in Metropolis or somewhere," he said, his hand coming up to massage the bridge of his nose. He spent most of the day thinking about this, and yet he could never know what Bruce would do next.

" What gives that Clark won't tell him if Superboy brings Tim to Metropolis?" Jason asked, still not leaving the issue alone.

"You say that as if Conner wouldn't turn his back on Clark for Timmy. Honestly, the Young Justice guys would probably beat Bruce to death before they let him have Timmy against his will," he smiled. If there was one thing he was sure of was that the team would choose each other over the JLA any day.

" If you say so, "Jason sighed, and Dick gave him a soft smile. At least they could drop the topic for today. "And what about if something goes wrong with Tim? "

"What do you mean?"

Jason turned to look at the television's dark screen as he spoke, not looking into Dick's eyes.  
"He didn't touch the Joker liquid, but he spent weeks next to it. There's no way to tell if it will affect him in the long run or not. He also got tortured within an inch of his life, that's bound to have some residual shit in his mind. What happens if he turns into the Joker? If he goes crazy?" his tone was nonchalant and devoid of any emotions, so Dick couldn't tell what the younger thought about this.

"I don't know. You're asking me as if I know everything, but the truth is, I know even less than you do. And honestly, if Tim were to go crazy, I don't think I would know until he was already about to slash my throat and by then there wouldn't be much to do, " he answered. This seemed to surprise Jason enough for the man to look at Dick. He had a little smile on his face, full of disbelief.

"Why? Wouldn't you try to stop him?"

Dick shrugged.  
"Since he is here with me, I would probably be his first victim. Also, since he wasn't in touch with the liquid Joker gas, I doubt that he would go laugh your head off batshit crazy, like the Joker. We would only know once he actually attacked, he would probably hide it until then," he explained, leaning forward. He put his elbows on his knees.

" You think that's why he chose the Replacement? Because he would be able to hide it? " Jason asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Dick shook his head.  
"No, I think he chose him because he would be a terrifying villain," he admitted. It was a funny thing to say in front of an actual villain.

Jason was scary in his own right, he couldn't deny that. The guy was a brickwall, with more muscle than Bruce and he wasn't afraid to shoot anyone in the head. But he also only killed criminals. He would never hurt anyone innocent.

He saw on Jason's face that the guy couldn't follow his thought process so he started elaborating.  
"You see, when you were dead, the Joker once turned Timmy into Joker Jr. So I think he believed he knew what he needs to do to break Timmy. Also, I think that the Joker recognises Timmy's genius, he just didn't care for it until now. But if anyone, then the Joker would know how thin the line is between a genius and a clinically insane person. I believe he just wanted to push Tim over that line and create something so dangerous, nobody could survive. "

He could literally see how sceptical Jason was about this idea just by looking at his face. The tone which he spoke in just confirmed his suspicions.  
"Really? Timmy? I could literally break him into two with one hand."

Dick rolled his eyes.  
"I'm not kidding," he said. "You know that Bruce has strategies to basically get rid off anyone he ever met?" he asked.

"Yeah, bitch is paranoid," Jason nodded his head.

"Yeah, well. Usually, a file has about three to four strategies, sometimes even up to ten and twenty, if the person is on a Wonder Woman and Superman level. When I first saw the list a few years ago, there was about two hundred plans against Tim," he admitted, closing his eyes. He could still remember that time. Bruce had just come back from time when he confronted him about hit lists. Tim basically destroyed any chance of peace he could've had with Damian during that time when he revealed his own list. To say he was shocked was an understatement. He himself never thought about even making a list, let alone actually spend time coming up with strategies. Looking back, he probably shouldn't have been shocked. It was Bruce they were talking about after all.

Jason sputtered.  
"Two hundred?! What the flying fuck?"

"There's actually more now. I don't know how many exactly, but there's more. And not because Bruce finds new weak points in Tim. It's because Tim comes up with new strengths that need to be countered and accounted for," he answered, looking towards the door. Dick could tell how shook Jason actually was about this, he didn't even try to hide his emotions. So Dick shrugged again and leaned back." But if you really think about it, it's actually not that shocking."

"Uhm, yes it is," Jason answered. "He can't even keep himself alive. I swear to god one of these days he will just drop dead and during his autopsy we won't find anything in him but trash."

Dick actually chuckled at that.  
"That's true. But think about him as if you don't know him this well. There is a reason villains who appreciate intellect are drawn to him. Like Ra's, for example. Or when he died and Mister Oz took him, because he was too important. Timmy would actually be a terrifying villain, because he is always like ten steps ahead and even had time to misdirect you. Yeah, physically we could beat him. But there's a certain maximum you can reach physically. Mentally, there is none. Tim literally is an ever-evolving monster and there's no way to know how far he can go, " he admitted. At times like this, he was really happy Tim was on their side. He knew they were a scary bunch. With Bruce, Jason and Damian being the way they were, Cass having the skills that she did and then Tim... He didn't even want to think about what the world would be like if they were on the wrong side.

"Then let's keep thinking of him as a human disaster, and everything will be fine," Jason said, putting the smile back on Dick's face.

"Don't be mean..." he chided, but for once he was really happy Jason was a sarcastic asshole. Jason actually chuckled as he pushed himself off the windowsill. But as he did so, a sound went off in the apartment. It wasn't loud, not enough to normally bring attention to itself. But it wasn't from Jason's movements and that alarmed Dick. "Did you hear that?" 

The younger gave him an unimpressed look.  
"Dick, I shoot guns daily, I'm basically deaf at this point," he answered. He had built some sound protection into the helmet, but he wasn't always wearing it. Tim actually got him hearing aids for Christmas two years ago as a gag-gift, and though he would never admit it, he actually considered using them sometimes.

Dick didn't even bother to react to that, he shot up from the couch and left the living room. He immediately went to the bedroom and opened the door. The wind got into his hair, sending shivers down his entire body. The window was opened over the bed, the covers all over the place.

"Timmy... Kiddo..."he called and threw the blankets aside as if that would reveal the boy. Then he looked out of the window. He couldn't see anything.

******************

Tim was cold, but that was nothing new. Having grown up in Gotham where getting some sunlight was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, he was used to being cold. But as he sat on top of the bridge, in nothing more than Dick's sweatpants and long sleeved shirt, he didn't have anything to keep him warm. The bandages on his feet were soaked through with water and mud as they tangled over the river underneath. He could hear the cars underneath; Gotham and Blüdhaven never slept. Tim took a deep breath and looked at the city. Blüdhaven was extreme, even by gothamite standards. And no same person would ever choose to live in Gotham either. He only tried to leave once, to go to college, and the city killed him off just so he couldn't leave.

Because once you became a part of the city, it will never let you go.

And yet it was inhabited, despite all the shit they went through, because it was THEIR city. Because even in you took the gothamite out Gotham, you could never take Gotham out of a true gothamite. Even if your hurt them or killed them.

"Why are we sittin' here?" Hearing the question, Tim's whole body shook. He didn't think any one would sneak up on him. He let himself go. He could've easily gotten hurt up there. He knew that voice and accent already, so he didn't turn to look at Harley.

"I don't know."

"Are we sad?"

"I don't know."

"Are ye gonna jump?"

"I don't know," Tim answered honestly. He heard Harley move beside him as the woman sat down next to him. The wind blew her blond hair all around the place, her tiny short and thin shirt not covering enough to keep her warm.

She studied Tim's face with surprise in her eyes, her lips pouting.  
"Ye're sittin' here, so ye must know," she murmured. She rocked back and forth, swinging her feet over the river underneath without a care in the world.

Tim shrugged.  
"I didn't know where to go and... I just ended up here," he muttered, still avoiding her gaze. He knew she noticed how thin he was, and that none of the bruises avoided her attention. But she didn't know who he was, and he couldn't let her know.

"Why not go home?"

"I can't go home."

"Why?"

"Because I did a bad thing," he said vaguely. The last thing he wanted was to admit to Harley that he killed the Joker. There was no way to tell how she would react. She could just shrug or she could send him flying into his death with a kick.

Harley hummed in understanding.  
"Was it so bad? Aren't the people at home yer family?" she asked, leaning against his side. It could've been just one of her tics, or it could be for warmth. Tim could feel that her body was just as cold as his, but while he shivered, she just sat there as if this was normal.

"What I did is even worse in our family," he explained. He stopped for a moment to think about how to continue. "My brother got into it when he was younger, and it was honestly a disaster when it went down," he sighed. Saying it this way, it was like he was from a normal family, getting into drugs. Nothing special like millionaires and killing criminals. Being as starved and beaten up as he was, there was no way she would recognise him as Tim Drake-Wayne, the young genius.

Harley leaned away from him just so she could continue swinging her legs.  
"And was yer brotha forgiven?"

Tim didn't answer for a moment. Jason and Bruce's relationship was really, really complicated. But again, so was everyone's relationship was complated with everyone. Like, he would die for Damian, but was also ready to beat his ass if he just breathed into his direction.  
"I guess so. He wasn't disowned or anything, but they are constantly fighting, and I can't even remember when they were last civil with each other," he said softly and brought his legs up to his chest to keep himself warm. The cold of the stone just chilled his feet even more through the wet bandages.

Harley now started to rock side-to-side, her ponytails following her body with a second of delay.  
"So they still talk to him, which is a good sign. Why wouldn't they forgive ye at least this much?" she asked, grabbing a strand that fell into her eyes and started twirling it around her finger.

Tim laughed out loud, completely humorless.  
"I could give you a whole list. But it's all stupid," he admitted.

"Why is it stupid?"

"Because we already talked about all of them. My oldest brother and I made peace, after he left me and some other shit went down. I was the first kid our parents didn't want, and I know it, even if they say he love me as much as my brothers. Then there are the others, who never really liked me... We all sorted it out," he explained, still only looking at the light far, far ahead. The city was alive even during the night.

"But... " Harley sing-sang in an annoying tone, saying out what Tim didn't want to.

He pulled his legs closer to his body.  
"But I still feel like it would be better if I just yeeted myself off here. That they would be better off without me. Even if they told me a lot of times that it's not true," he muttered. It was ridiculous. He hated not being able to listen to his rational mind.

"Well..." Harley started as she stopped rocking. "Sometimes, in our mind we are ready to leave out past issues behind, but emotionally, we are not. The best we can do is experience the feelings, and one day, it won't hurt that much anymo'," she said softly, and for the first time, Tim turned his head to look at her, just to see her smiling.

"How do you know?"

Her smile turned into her usual crazy grin and she showed a peace sign.  
"I didn't go to med school for nothing!" Then she started rocking again. "And when I was with my ex-boyfie, Mistah Jay, he hurt me lots and lots and he was really mean. And now I'm happy with my Pamie, but sometimes when she gets angry with me for something I'm scared she'll be mean too, but then she's not mean because she actually loves and she's not like Mistah Jay, like she's actually pretty and she smells nice and her body is really soft and she let's me be happy and she tells me I'm pretty and..." Tim wasn't really sure if Harley ever stopped to breath as he listened to her gush about Poison Ivy as if she was a saint and the most perfect human being in the universe. For her, she probably was.

"... but then again, rumours say that Mistah Jay is now dead because the angry red bird killed him, so I know I don't have to worry him coming to get me back, because even if my heart wants to choose Pamie, I might choose Mistah Jay, because he was my first love, ye know?" she turned to look at Tim for comfirtmation that he was listening and that he got her problem. 

But Tim's heart skipped a beat, and it was like his mind shut down. Harley knew. People were saying that the Joker was dead. And if people said that, it was only a matter of time before Bruce would know too, if he didn't already.

"The Joker... is dead?" he hoped that Harley thought the shake in his voice was from surprise. Or anything, just not guilt.

Harley tapped her lips.  
"That's what they say. But with Mistah Jay, ye can nevah know, ye know? I wouldn't mind if he was. Pamie would be happy and if Pamie is happy then I'm also happy because then she lets me play with her titties and then..." she almost went on to detail their sex-life, so Tim quickly cut in.

"I get it," he said, maybe a bit louder than he should've. "I get it," he added in a softer tone, when he saw her surprised gaze.

"We all get it. Honestly, Harley, not everyone wants to know what you do in the bedroom," the familiar voice cut in, and Harley immediately turned to look back, but Tim just froze. Of course, it had to be her.

"Cat!" Harley shouted happily, laying back on the stone.

"Ivy wants you home, so you should go," Selina said softly. Despite wearing a leather suit, her movements were as silent as ever.

Harley pouted in indecision as she looked at Tim first before back onto Selina.  
"But the boy don't feel good," she said.

"I can stay with him if that's what you want. But Ivy might cut your hyena, because he chewed up one of her plants," Selina offered as Harley gasped.

"Oh no, Bruce!" she shrieked and was on her feet before Tim could even see her move. He looked after her.

"Your hyena is called Bruce?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Harley giggled and winked at him.  
"Named after the hunky Wayne guy!" and with that she jumped onto the side of the pillar and scaled down as if it was an everyday thing for her. In her case, insanity made her gravity-resistant. Tim watched her go and quickly turned his eyes onto the river under them when Selina took Harley's place beside him.

"You look like a rejected kitten who was dumped onto the streets," she said and reached out to ran her hand through Tim's hair, but he turned to her before she could reach him.

"Please, don't tell Bruce," he begged. Honestly, he couldn't care for his dignity. He didn't have any left at this point. But he wasn't ready to face Bruce. He could see how shocked Selina was by the this, but he didn't care. "Please. Please, don't tell him. I'll do anything, just please..."

"Oh, kitten," she sighed and hugged him close before he could protest. "I take it wasn't Jason who killed the Joker..." she noted. When she heard Tim whimper another plea into her arms, she nodded. "I won't tell him."

"Really?" he asked, pulling back just enough to look at her. Selina gave him a sad smile.

"A mama cat always looks out for her kittens. And I can tell you're not ready to face Bruce 'a-brick-has-more-emotions-than-me' Wayne," she chuckled. She gently pressed down onto Tim's head so he was forced to lay down onto her lap. She didn't fidget like Harley did, but her leather suit was just as cold to touch as the blonde woman's skin had been.

"You promise?"

Slina chuckled as she gently caressed his head.  
"Yes, I do," she said. "Just... Once you're ready... Please, call Alfred. He's getting old, and his dear old heart can't take any more loss."

Tim but his lips before he nodded his head.  
"I will."

"Thank you," she leaned down to press a kiss onto his cheek. "Now, do you want to tell me why you're here? In more details than you did with Harley."

Tim stayed silent as he curled into himself.  
"I felt sick. I can see the blood, and whenever I think about being alive, it makes me want to throw up. And then I heard Dick saying that I would be a terrifying villain and a monster, and... I just couldn't stay," he shook his head and closed his eyes. He couldn't sleep, and he wanted to go back out to the others when he heard them talk. He knew Dick didn't mean anything bad by those, but still...

"And coming here helped?"

"No. I just can't get over it. I killed someone. I went against everything I was ever taught, and I... I... I keep getting to the solution that it would be better if I died and not the Joker," he admitted. Talking with Harley could've helped on the long run. Maybe, when he was over this, and ready to start working on his past issues, he could listen to her. But not right now. Not about this.

"Tim." Selina's voice was a bit harsh as she grabbed his face and forced him to turn to her. "I can tell you, speaking for every single person in Gotham, that I would much rather have the Joker six-feet under and burning in hell, than to have you dead. You just did a favour for Gotham and humanity itself," she said, her voice not leaving any room for argument. But that never stopped Tim from trying.

"But Bruce..."

"He'll come around. I love that man to death, but he can be a hardass and regret it later. But I know he will also be happy that you are alive, and not that demon," she assured him with a soft smile, before letting his head turn back to the side.

"I just..."

"I know, kitten. I know. And it's going to be alright, I promise."

Before Tim could even react to her pinching a nerve in his neck, the world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment after yourself!


	4. Chapter 4

Tim knew where he was even before he opened his eyes. His feet were now dry, the bandages changed. The blanket around him was warm and smelled of Dick, which normally made him feel like home, but right now it only filled him with guilt. When he moved slightly, his back bumped into another body next to his. Tim lifted his face from the blanket and turned around to look at the other person.

Jason was sitting upright, reading something next to the window, using the sunlight to light up the page. His face was dark with the shadows, the only thing that made his face lighter was the white strand that fell between his eyes. His teal eyes only left the page for a second to meet Tim's before he turned back to the story.

"Decided to join us again, Replacement?" he asked, but his voice showed how uninterested he really was.

Tim sat up in the bed and looked around. He really was back in Dick's apartment. He let out a deep sigh as his shoulders fell forward.  
"Where's Dick?" His first thought would've been that the first Robin would be the one to stay with him.

"Left to get groceries, so now I'm stuck babysitting you, until he comes back," Jason answered, turning the page. He didn't look up when Tim turned to look at him.

"I don't need babysitting," he protested softly.  
This finally got Jason's attention.

He raised an eyebrow in disbelief as he took in the younger's form.  
"Sure, you don't. Especially after the stunt you pulled last night and your spectacular history with mental health."

If Tim had more life in him, he would've rolled his eyes at that. But he didn't feel alive enough to make exasperated gestures like that. So he slowly pushed himself into a sitting position.  
"I don't have mental health problems," he murmured more to himself than to Jason as he stood front he bed. The world seemed to sway under his feet for a second, but he kept standing and waited until his vision cleared. He ignored Jason's snort.

"Sure. Because you didn't try to clone your best friend a million times when he died, Dick didn't had to catch you mid-air after you basically gave up on life when you fought Ra's, and yesterday Harley and Selina didn't have to talk you out of throwing yourself off the bridge. You're right, you're the epitome of mental health, " he said, closing his book to give his full attention to Tim. Tim shot him a dirty look over his shoulder, but it was only met with ruthless smile.

"How do you know that anyway? " he asked softly, but didn't even wait for an answer before leaving the room.

"Welp, Dick ain't exactly the best at keeping his concerns to himself, and I had to be the one to take your unconscious body from Selina last night. By the way, I think you should think about your physical state, because she could literally carry you with one hand," Jason said and followed Tim into the kitchen. He leaned against the doorframe as the younger drank some water. He felt almost bad for teasing Tim, but the hatred the boy looked at the glass with was just too funny to leave it at that.

" Doesn't really matter," Tim whispered before pushing the glass away from himself and stepping back. He needed to hydrate, but even the water made his stomach churn.

"Honestly, I'm surprised that you're still alive with your levels of dehydration and malnourishment," Jason commented, but his tone made the situation more like a joke, than anything else. And Tim absolutely hated that. He understood that Jason didn't like him, but he thought that after their last talk, Jason wouldn't make fun of him in their current situation.

He already felt like hell, why did he need to make it even worse?

"What does it matter to you anyway? Wouldn't you rather see me dead already?" He didn't even realise he was shouting until he saw the surprise on Jason's face. He wanted to apologise for raising his voice, but decided against it. He just raised his chin the way he always saw his mother do when he was a child. "I heard you and Dick last night. I asked you to kill me, because I thought you would understand. But knowing that both of you agree that I will probably go on a killing spree was really heartwarming," he frowned, while keeping his gaze fixed on Jason.

Jason watched silently, the surprise still holding him hostage. This was the longest string of words Tim had said since he arrived there. The conversation with the women may have done something really right. Now, if only they could break down the rest of his barriers...

So Jason broke out in a smirk and straightened to his full height. He was so much bigger than Tim, even if there was only four years between them. Tim looked barely older than fifteen, despite being over twenty-one.  
"And what if we do?" he asked, his tone now intentionally provoking. "Who knows what happened down there? The fuckwad may as well hypnotised you to snap when you hear a certain word." He could see how Tim's lips wobbled as his apathic facade slowly but surely broke. So Jason pressed on. "You are a ticking bomb, for all we know."

He could see Tim's eyes growing glassy, but his gaze never relented. He was still that stubborn, overly well-mannered brat than before. Jason could appreciate that.

"Then why don't just kill me?" Tim tried to hide the shake in his voice, but knew he failed. He felt like he was choking. He didn't fear death. He stopped fearing it when he was twelve. But hearing all this from someone else, not just from himself was breaking him apart.

"I could," Jason admitted easily. "In your condition, I could do it with my pinky and you wouldnt even have a chance," he shrugged. Then the smirk was back as he stepped closer and looked deeply into Tim's eyes. "But where's the fun in that?"

Tim honestly couldn't tell what happened. Something snapped in him as he launched himself at Jason with enough power to knock him over. He hit him in the chest, and even though it probably didn't even manage to hurt Jason a little bit, he did again. Then he raised...

The knife.

He froze in his place, his hand still in the air, Jason completely still under him. He dropped the knife and raised both his hands to his mouth. He couldn't even remember taking up the knife. His breathing sped up, his vision getting blurry from the tears. It was happening. He was going insane.

Gentle hands curled around his wrists as Jason sat up, Tim still kneeling over him. He held those tiny hands against his chest with one hand, but he did it so gently that Tim could easily escape his hold. His other hand went around the boy and slowly cradled him against his body.  
"It's okay," he whispered softly, moving Tim to lean his hand onto his shoulder.

A loud sob wrecked through the younger's body, his eyes still not moving from the knife he threw aside.  
"I killed someone, Jason."

"I know."

"I tried to kill you..." Another sob, another set of tears rolling down on the pale cheeks. Jason let go off his hands so he could force Tim to turn his head towards him, not at the kitchen utensil.

"But you didn't," he reminded him softly, making sure to look into those deep blue eyes as he did so.

Tim tried to turn away as he cried, but Jason didn't let him.  
"Why didn't you stop me? Why didn't you do anything?" he was now shaking in his entire body.

Jason smiled at him as he ran his fingers through the soft hair.  
"Because I knew you wouldn't do it. You're too much of a baby bird to do it. You're not a Joker. You're a Robin," he stated, his eyes and tone not showing an doubts about his statement. If possible, this only made Tim cry harder. Jason pulled him tighter against himself, not caring that the younger's bones pressed into his body. Eventually, Tim took a hold of his shirt on his shoulders, letting the older hold him through it.

Jason caught Dick's shocked gaze in the kitchen window. He must have come back while Tim was attacking him. Jason closed his eyes to signal that Dick shouldn't come in. He held Tim until he exhausted himself with the crying and fell asleep in his embrace. And Dick stayed back until Jason decided Tim was asleep deep enough to move. Having nothing in him to give him energy, Tim tired himself out with crying fast. And by then they had been sitting on the kitchen floor for over twenty minutes, Jason cradling the boy gently. Dick watched him as he carried Tim into the room without sparing Dick a glance. That's when Dick stepped into the kitchen.

He didn't bother to bring to shopping bag with him, he immediately went for the knife. He put it back into the drawer and shut it, as if that would be enough to keep anything from happening again. If things were really going downhill, he will gave to think of something to keep Tim away from sharp things. He sighed and stepped to the window to open it up. Maybe some fresh air will lighten the tension in the house. His hand knocked into Jason's cigarette. For a moment, he honestly thought about lighting one. The thought of the nicotine itself made him sick to the stomach, but maybe the sole thing of having something to do would help. Even if it was to kill his lungs a little faster.

But he stood against the urge and just buried his face in his hands. This was so much. He was used to situations being bad, but this was starting to overwhelm him. Every single thought of his ended up on Tim at some point, even though he needed to concentrate on thousand more things.

The first thing was that he had to send Jason home. He already knew that he made a big mistake when he involved him, but his hands were tied when it came down to Gotham and he had to operate around Bruce. But now, he just couldn't put younger man in any more danger. Having sent him down to a freaking basement to fetch a body was an unacceptable move from his part, but now Jason has gotten attacked by Tim, who was under the Joker's influence. He couldn't put that on Jason, he already went through enough because of that monster. The last thing they needed was him dying again because of of something the Joker did. (Because Dick knew he would never blame Tim, even if the boy did it.)

Then there was the bigger issue, Tim. Dick had absolutely no idea what to do about him. Even if Tim would talk right now, he had no idea what to ask. He couldn't ask him what happened down there, what the Joker did to him. It could be too soon, and the last thing he wanted to put salt on the still fresh wounds. He needed to get him to eat something, because it was already dangerous how thin he was, but he had to find something Tim could keep down. The toast the previous day has been a disaster because the boy threw it up after two bites. He wanted to give him an IV, but with his immune system so down, especially after freezing outside last night, no matter how sterile he made it to be, there would be a high chance of Tim getting an infection. He was already high-risk for missing a spleen, Dick didn't want to think about how bad it could get right now.

He let out a sigh. Everything would a lot easier if he had Alfred by his side.

His chest ached as he thought about the butler. But having to keep this a secret from everyone included him, until Tim was ready to face at least him. Alfred would never tell on them to Bruce, but right now Dick didn't want to put too many people's attention on the boy. It would only make the boy feel like he needed to prove himself to them by improving back to health on a record speed, ending up destroying himself in the process. No, he needed to keep the number of contact Tim had on the minimum. For now, it would be him.

He flinched when he heard the door closing behind him and quickly turned around. Jason let go off the doorknob slowly and silently walked away from the door, back to the kitchen. If the situation was normal, Dick would've found it amusing that Jason actually walked silent like a cat, but usually deliberately chose to slam his feet onto the ground like his boots were made of concrete. The shoulder of his shirt was stained with tears and probably some snot, but the man didn't seem bothered by it. But he seemed so incredibly tired.

Dick didn't even try to protest, when Jason didn't even bother to keep the smoke away from him, he immediately light up a cigarette and inhaled from it.  
"How are you feeling?" Dick asked softly. He knew it was stupid even without the cynical look Jason sent him.

"I wasn't the one getting tortured by the Joker this time," he smirked, keeping his eyes on the street below them as he spoke. But that was enough for Dick, he knew Jason better.

"That doesn't mean it doesn't affect you," he answered and despite dying to pull Jason into a hug, he kept his hands on the windowsill.

Jason rolled his eyes and groaned, flicking some ash onto the street.  
"You won't apologise for involving me in this, are ya?" he asked, finally turning to Dick with a flat look. Dick didn't answer him. Jason snorted. "Fuck off, Dickwad. If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't have done it."

"Still. I think you should go home, before it gets even worse. I don't want Tim to hurt you if something were to happen," he answered, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He leaned his hips against the windowsill so he could watch Jason easily.

"The kid is weak like a newborn fawn. His hits felt like as if a fly knocked into me," then he cackled. "Hell, even that may hurt more."

"I'm not joking, Jason."

"Neither am I, Dick," Jason snapped and flicked his cigarette down onto the street. "I made a point with what happened earlier. I could've stopped him easily, he would literally break if I as much as flicked his forehead. And before you come at me with me being suicidal bullshit, I knew he would stop. Tim is not me, don't forget that." His gaze was hard and he straightened up as he faced Dick. He was taller than the elder for long now, but it was still sometimes surprising how small and weak Dick felt in front of him. And that was something, because Dick was always the one to stand up to Bruce for the family.

"I just want the best for you," he admitted.

This didn't soften the younger's eyes.  
"And I'll be deciding what that is," Jason hissed through his teeth before pointing at the bedroom door. "Now get the fuck in there, so you can stroke his dainty little soul once he wakes up, because I may have broken down whatever wall of apathy he built up, but you will be the one to care for him, because I sure as hell won't," he said, and before Dick could say anything, he turned away and left. He barely grabbed his jacket and shoes before leaving the apartment. Dick expected him to slam the door behind himself, to stomp his feet to prove a point, but Jason did none of that. He was still deadly silent. Whether it was to not wake Tim, or to freak Dick out, he succeeded.

Dick looked after him sadly, but eventually turned away from the door and went into the bedroom. He had to look out for both of them. And as much as he didn't want to choose, he had to stay with Tim.

******************

Jason did his best to fall asleep. He hadn't slept in two days, he truly needed to get some rest. He almost fell asleep earlier when he waited for Tim to wake up, but even if Dick's books were fucking atrocious, he had managed to stay awake, in case something happened. But now, in his own safe house, he couldn't get more than thirty minutes of sleep at once.

First he thought it was going to go well. He all but collapsed into his bed that enveloped him in a warm embrace and he was out cold.

Then came the nightmares.

_It started out like usual. Back in the warehouse with that fucking crowbar and that fucking clown-painted lunatic. The pain, the fear and the hope that Bruce would get him, and then the knowledge that Batman will never reach him in time. But unlike every other time, this time, the Joker cackled before stopping the beating and stepping away from Jason. Jason let out a shaky breath of relief and opened his eyes slightly to see what the Joker was doing. Getting another weapon? Starting the explosives? What?_

_The slim body was chained against the wall, hanging from the chains like a broken marionette. Even without seeing the face, Jason knew who was it, just from the long green tights. The red of the Robin uniform hid the blood well, but Jason could tell how Tim was slowly bleeding out from the scar on his neck. A scar Jason would sometimes correct in his dreams, just to have the Babybird die by his hands anyway._

_Jason's heart sped up as he watched the Joker go to the bruised up body. He wnated to shout out as the Joker broke out in maniacal laughs and grabbed a chair from the side. Jason tried to move, but his body just wouldn't budge. He wanted to get between them, to scream, to run or just to close his eyes, but he couldn't. The chair shattered after the first hits, a leg breaking off. A leg Jason had pulled out of the Joker's throat before. But this time the Joker wouldn't be the victim..._

Jason's eyes snapped open and he took in a sharp breath. He stayed still for a minute, just listening. He could hear the old couple in the flat under his listen to the television. He counted the cars that passed, but otherwise, the apartment and the street was silent. He let out a silent sigh and willed his heart to stop racing.  
It was just a nightmare, like every other night. This never stopped him from sleeping back since he was twenty. So he closed his eyes again and pulled his covers up.

And just to be sure, he double checked his knife under the pillow.

_The tiles in the kitchen were cold under his bare feet, but honestly, he was in Dick's apartment, as long as the tile was only cold and not covered in crumbs and trash, Jason was good. It was the middle of the night, but he didn't bother turning on the light. That's was just a bother, his eyes were already used to the dark._

_The doorbell rang, and without thinking about it, he went to open it up. He knew about the young woman downstairs, who often made trips up there to get into Dick's pants, so Jason should only need to frown at her before she would run. Maybe he could even milk that favour and get Dick to take over patrol for him in exchange. But it wasn't a girl._

_The younger's body was dwarfed by the giant purple suit and Jason felt the bile rise in his throat as he took in Tim's face. His cheeks weren't cut up like the Joker's, but the lines were drawn in with bright red paint. His blue eyes stood out under the black that was smeared around them, as if the Joker didn't even try to make him clown-like, just put whatever colour he could put his hands on on Tim's face._

_Tim met Jason's eyes and he swallowed hard.  
"I killed the Joker, Jason," he croaked out, playing with his fingers nervously._

_"I know, Babybird."_

_Tim didn't seem too shocked.  
"Really?"_

_"Yeah. And I know why you came."_

_"Really?"_

_Jason nodded his head.  
"Yeah. I can smell the toxin on you," he barely finished the sentence, before the crazy smile took over Tim's face. His laugh was more hysterical than maniac like the Joker's had been, but it still made Jason sick. He didn't fight it, when Tim launched at him with the knife, his laughter ringing down the corridor. _

This time, Jason didn't even try to sleep back. Maybe Dick had been right. He shouldn't be around Tim. But he could remember the moment in the kitchen clearly. All he could smell on Tim was Dick's showergel and his natural scent. There was no toxin on him. He hadn't seen Tim smile or heard him laugh during the time he spent there. He had been desperate, he had been dead inside and he had cried, but he never once laughed.

This should be a sign that Dick is right and he needed to stay away. The last two days have been too much for his psyche, and brought back way too many shit memories. But Jason was a Bat despite his protest and he hadn't evaded the paranoia that came with it. He had to double check. He had to make sure himself that the Joker Toxin wasn't there.

That Tim was still their Babybird.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be really shitty of me, now that the plot will thicken, but I have to cut back on the frequency of the updates, because I need to start preparing for my exams. I'm really sorry and thank you for understanding!

"It's your bed, you know. You should sleep in it."

Dick cracked open an eye and gave a playful smile as he watched Tim on the bed. The boy was a small ball on the bed, completely wrapped up in the blankets. Only his face was visible as he watched Dick. The man sat on the ground beside the bed as he always did when he watched him sleep.  
"But I want you to sleep well and don't want to disturb you," he answered easily and slid closer to the bed. Tim didn't stop his hand when he gently pulled a strand of hair out of his eye.

"You wouldn't disturb me. You need to sleep too," Tim said softly still laying calmly in the bed. So Dick continued to run his fingers through the soft hair, relishing in the small moment of peace.

"I sleep, I promise," he reassured Tim softly with a smile. "But right now, I want to talk about something else."

Tim raised an eyebrow.  
"What?"

"You need to eat, Timmy. I don't care what, but we need to figure something out, because you can't keep this up," he said.

Tim closed his eyes and slightly pulled the covers a little higher.  
"I know."

Dick quit caressing him and just let his hand rest on Tim's side.  
"I'm kinda ready to give you whatever you want, just name it. As long as it won't ruin your stomach more," he sighed.

"I'll take anything but bread," Tim whispered into the sheets. If it was possible, he curled smaller around himself.

Dick didn't even try to hide his surprise.  
"Bread?"

Tim turned his eyes away, looking at the wall behind Dick. He whispered something, but it was so fast and so soft Dick didn't catch it, even though he was right beside him. He leaned a little closer and put his arm around the boy in a loose embrace.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't get it," he apologised, leaning his head next to Tim's so he was sure to hear it this time.

It appeared to be a good call, because Tim barely spoke louder this time.  
"He force fed me bread to keep me alive."

Dick forgot to breath. He had been wondering how Tim managed to survive three weeks with the Joker, not just because of the torture, but because of the sheer physicality of starvation. But like this... It wasn't a surprise anymore why Tim reacted badly to the toast.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently. When Tim quickly shook his head, Dick didn't force the subject. He put on his easy smile again, drawing small patterns on the blanket. "I have some protein bars if that sounds better. I have the chocolate ones that Stephanie likes, but also simple banana ones," he offered.

Tim finally met his gaze again.  
"Maybe the banana ones..."

Dick pushed the deal a little more.  
"Maybe a warm tea too? With some honey...?" he made exaggerated movements with his eyebrows in hope that it would make Tim smile. The boy's face stayed stoic, but his eyes seemed livelier, and honestly, Dick counted that as a win.

"Just a little, okay?" Tim agreed softly, and for once, Dick's smile was genuine and wider than before. He swiftly leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Tim's forehead.

"Deal!" he was up from the floor and put of the room before Tim could take it back. The protein bar was easy to find and once he put the the water on to boil, he was back in the room. This time, he didn't sit on the ground but climbed into the bed, next to Tim.

"Thank you," Tim whispered softly, sitting up in the sheet, still pulling the blanket around himself.

Watching Tim eat was more satisfying than anything Dick has seen in a long while. The boy was just bones and skin, and even though the blanket everytime he touched the boy he could only feel the sharp edges of his bones. But that didn't stop him from throwing his arm around the younger and pulling him into his side.  
"I'll have to go back to work tomorrow," he whispered softly. Tim looked up at him, slowly chewing the protein bar. "I was thinking that you could wear a comm unit, so we would be connected while I'm away. Same for patrol," he said, slowly laying it out, as if it was something controversial.

The boy turned back to his bar, playing with the wrapper. He had only eaten two bites, half was still there. But he just couldn't make himself to eat more.  
"You don't trust me anymore, do you?" he asked. His chest felt tight, painfully so.

"I just want to know you're safe," he answered, drawing slow patterns onto Tim's shoulder to hopefully keep him calm.

Tim let out a long breath over his nose and closed the wrapper over the last two bites. He wouldn't eat that anymore. He moved a bit to the side so he could look into Dick's eyes. His hands trembled in his lap as he started playing with his fingers again. The skin on it was now rubbed raw.  
"I understand if you don't. I don't trust myself either after what happened with Jason," he admitted with a slight shrug. "But I need you to be honest with me. Please."

Dick reached forward and put his own hand between Tim's so the boy would stop rubbing his fingers.  
"What is going on right now is not your fault, Tim, no matter what. But you ran away once from here, and I don't want to risk you hurting yourself while you're left alone," he said without hesitating. Tim would see through his lies immediately, and in this moment it was especially important for them to be honest." I can't stay home with you, even if I want to, but I still want to be connected to you so I know where you are and that you're okay."

"Babs will be able to pick up the signal."

"Not if we use a specific one way connection. I will hear you, but you can't hear me, only if it's safe for me to reach out. Jason and I already use this, that's how I could contact him without the rest of Bats knowing," he explained. It was Jason's paranoia of Bruce finding him that started this, because he also had asked for favours before. They rarely used it, but at moment like this, it was a good asset to have.

"Or I could just stay here and fucking babysit when you're out, ya know." The displeasure dripped so heavily from Jason's voice as he showed up in the door, Dick almost rolled his eyes. Tim's fingers tightened around his as the boy made himself smaller in front of Tim. The kettle went off in the kitchen.

Dick pressed his lips tight together and pulled his hand out of Tim's. He gently caressed his head as he got out of the bed.  
"I'll be right back. Try to finish the protein bar," he whispered and grabbed Jason's shoulder before closing the door behind them. He dragged the younger into the kitchen. He only let go when they were by the window. He then turned to him. "What are you doing here? We agreed you'll stay away."

"No, Dickhead. You said that and I said I'll decide for myself. And now I'm back," Jason answered. He closed the gas under the kettle as if it was his kitchen.

"Jason, I'm just trying to do what's good for you," he whispered back. Jason rolled his eyes and went around Dick to take out a mug and the tea filter.

"Yeah, well, I may just know better than you," he said and poured the water into the mug. Then he picked up a second mug. "Dickhead, I know you worry, but thing is, this is gonna be shit either way. I may as well stay and supervise the Babybird in case something goes wrong," he added and turned towards the elder man. He seemed incredibly worn down.

Dick rubbed his hand over his face and leaned against the wall.  
"I'm just trying do the best for everyone. With Timmy this bad off, I can't even try to make sure you're okay. And I know you don't want me to help, but I just can't shake it off, and..." he blabbered, not even paying attention to what the younger was doing.

Jason raised an eyebrow and waited as Dick said everything he had stuck in him about this. He already knew all of that. Then he sighed and put the mug and the kettle down. Then he spread his arms. That's surprised Dick enough that he stopped talking.  
"What are you doing?" the first Robin asked.

Jason rolled his eyes.  
"You can have a hug. Because you need to get yourself together, I hate being the emotionally stable one in this family," he said, and he didn't even have to finish the sentence, before Dick was in his arms. Dick squeezed his navel so hard, if Jason wasn't such a hardened person, it would've squeezed the breath out of him. He just let his arms fall around the man, no even really holding him close. But it appeared to be enough to Dick.

He was just about to pat Dick's shoulder to signal that the hug was over, but then his pocket vibrated as did Dick's phone on the table. Dick pulled away to get to his own device, while Jason fished out his own phone.

"Oh, go fuck yourself," Jason whispered to himself as he looked at his phone. From the horror stricken look on Dick's face, he knew they got the same message.

__

"Emergency meeting. 8 PM. In the Cave.

*************

"We should just get started without that fool. We're more efficient without him anyway," Damian growled out, pushing himself out of the armchair in the cave. They were all already dressed for the night, and Jason wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Dami, don't be mean," Dick chided softly, but let out a sigh as he leaned against the sickbed. He had been there for over half an hour in full Nightwing gear. He knew that Jason would be late a little, because they agreed on it, but he didn't think it would go this far. He wanted to go home. He listened to Tim breathing on the other end of the comms, using that to calm himself.

"I'm not mean. I'm stating facts," Damian frowned, but fell back into the chair. At the height of his starting teenage rebellion, Dick counted that as a win.

Bruce turned to them from the computer.  
"Does anyone know where he is?" he asked. His cowl was pushed back, but his face was stoic as ever so Dick couldn't read anything from his face. But shook his head, as regretful as he could manage. Stephanie gave Bruce a dirty look, while Duke just spread his arms.

Cass raised her phone to show it off.  
"I messaged him."

"And?" Damian raised an eyebrow in question.

"I told him Alfred made cookies," Cass smiled to herself as she glanced behind everyone else.

"And that's the only fucking reason I'm here, so get to it, because I wanna leave," Jason grumbled, pulling off his helmet. The others gave him a dirty look, but Bruce stood from his seat and turned to them.

"The Joker is dead," he started, calling attention to himself. Dick's heart skipped a beat. This was the moment he feared. He knew Bruce would get to know it eventually, right after Tim showed up on his doorstep. The question was, how much did Bruce actually know?

"I heard that rumour, but I thought it was a lie," Duke frowned. It's been only a few days, but things like that spread like wildfire in Gotham.

"Jason, do you have anything to say?" Bruce asked softly, his face and tone neutral. He carefully kept any trace of accusation out of it. But even like this, Jason's face contorted into a frown.

"If ya wanna say something, say it to my face," he growled, slipping into the Red Hood voice. Dick could see how Jason's body tensed, his fingers twitching by his guns.

Bruce noticed it too, by the way he met Dick's eyes right after. Batman didn't change his posture or tone as he spoke up.  
"According to the rumours, you were the one who did it. They say there was a footage of you dragging his body out of the power plant. There is no proof of that, but I want you to talk if you have anything to say," he answered diplomatically. It was as good as he could make it without outright attacking Jason.

Jason snorted.  
"And of fuckin' course ya believe them, " he spit. His eyes burned with anger, the green a bit more visible than usual. Dick straightened up when he saw it. It could be seen as just him fidgeting, but it was much easier to move from that stance.

"Nobody would be surprised," Stephanie answered, meeting Jason's gaze head on. She was in a particularly bad mood.

"Well, fuck ya, it wasn't me," Jason growled at her before looking at Bruce. "But if it's true, I want to shake hands with his killer. It was fucking time someone did it."

Dick kept his face neutral.

"Don't say that, Jason. A human got murdered," Bruce chided, his voice tighter than a second before.

The leather of his gloves squeeked as Jason clenched his fists.  
"No, the thousands of people who the Joker killed got murdered. Now it was just a monster who was long overdue his lifetime. And honestly, I would gladly dance on his grave, if I was given the chance."

"Jason!" Dick called out in a warning tone. Jason met his eyes. They both knew Tim couldn't hear them, but talking about this like that was still hard to hear since Dick actually knew what happened.

"Whatever. Y'all should be happy someone's doing ya job for ya. And if they think I was the one who did it, let them! I'll take full responsibility for it, my fucking pleasure," he shouted, before stomping up the stairs. He came for the cookies, he was gonna get those cookies.

" Fool, "Damian shook his head. Dick shot him a glance, but it didn't bother the boy.

"He got a point though. What do you want to do? The Joker's dead, there's nothing to do about it," Duke pointed out.

"This is a murder, we treat it like any other crime in this city," Bruce said. Dick couldn't read anything from his face and it irked him. He wanted to know how Bruce felt about this situation.

"You're kidding me, right?" Stephanie's voice was a bit harsher than she probably intended. Dick was surprised by this. He didn't think she would be like that.

"Is there a problem?" Bruce asked. He was now on edge, and it was now showing in his voice.

"Yeah, there is!" Stephanie snapped. "You seriously need to get your priorities straight! Nobody cares that the Joker was killed! If anything, people are happy. Why would you look for his killer?!" It was a rhetorical question. But Bruce had never been good at sensing the mood.

"Because it's a murder. And the killer might kill again." His voice went lower. His emotions were getting in the way. He was getting angry.

"They killed a psychopath, oh the horror. Meanwhile, your son is still missing and you already quit looking for him!" Stephanie shouted, stepping forward. Cass wanted to step between her and Bruce, but Dick held her back. It would just get worse if they got involved. Cass looked up at him, but he shook his head. She seemed unconvinced, but she didn't fight him.

"I didn't stop. But just because he's not here, crime won't stop," Bruce answered. He didn't flinch or step back when Stephanie stopped in front of him.

"It's not crime, it's justice for the thousands of lives lost. But apparently a serial killer is more important than Tim to you," she pointed at Bruce's chest.

"That's not true and you know it," Bruce growled. He was working really hard to keep his cool.

"Then prove it. Because as far as we know, he might be still alive. Care about living before you care about the dead," Stephanie said and turned around. She left on a motorbike without looking back. Cass quickly ran after her to make sure she won't do anything stupid. This time, Dick let her go.

Duke gave Dick a pleading look.  
"Do I have to be here for the drama?" he asked. Dick pulled a face.

"Run while you can," he whispered back. He would've left too, if he could. Duke was gone before Dick could say anything else.

"They're all so unprofessional. No surprise Gotham is the way it is," Damian commented, playing on his phone. He couldn't care less about the others ' drama.

Dick let out a sigh and walked closer to them.  
"Damian, not now. This is a hard time for everyone," he said. He reached up to touch Bruce's shoulder, but the man turned away before he could do it.

"We need to get our head in our game. We need to catch the culprit," he said it more to himself than to them as he turned back to the computer.

"Do we even have a lead we can follow up?" Dick asked, trying to hit up a calming tone as he spoke. 

"The power-plant. The lower levels of the building have been burned down, so now it's shut down until they can make sure it's not hazardous. The only reason we know it must have been a hide-out of the Joker's is because on the day fire, the air was filled with enough Joker toxin for our detectors to pick it up. It was not dangerous to people, but it was enough for the machines. It probably evaporated in the fire and got into the air with smoke," Bruce answered, pointing out the plant on the map of Gotham as well as the data from that day's chemical readings.

Dick crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"Even that would be a dead end. There will be no DNA after the fire," he reminded Bruce.

"There may be. If the Joker was really there, his body may have been in there during the fire. In that case, the bones could still be in there and that should be enough," Damian commented, not even looking up from the game.

"That's true," Dick admitted. But he knew the body hadn't been there by the time the fire started.

"So that will be the first place we check." Bruce straightned up and put on the cowl. Batman was now in action.

*****************

Alfred sat down onto his bed. Everyone was out on patrol, and with Barbara leading them through the comm, he could rest for the night. But he closed the curtains, just in case any camera could catch him from the outside.

He pulled a small slip of paper out of his sleeve.

' _We can only say this much for now. Let this be enough,'_ Jason had said, his lips not moving as he gave Alfred back the cookie jar, holding the little paper to the bottom of it. Alfred nodded his head barely visibly, and out the jar back onto the shelf. He then rearranged his sleeves, slipping the little note into it.

He could finally pull it out. His room wasn't wired up and with the curtains closed, it was the only truly private space in the manor. So he unfolded the paper. He'd recognise that handwriting anywhere. The forced cursive that resembled scratches more than anything, because the hand could never catch up to the brain. Three little words, but it was enough to bring tears to his eyes. He stroked his forehead, feeling as if the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders. He held the note like it was a precious treasure. 

__

_I'm safe. - Tim_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please, leave a comment after yourself, because they always make me so happy and they give me extra will to write!  
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Tim pulled the blanket higher, hoping that Dick's scent would drown out the smoke that took over the apartment. Jason came back rather early and just threw himself down onto the couch and he hasn't stopped smoking since then. Tim desperately wanted to open the window to get the smell out, but he was already freezing, even under the blanket.

He only left the room, to put some fresh clothes out for Dick in the bathroom, then closed the door on himself. He felt like suffocating from the smell and the smoke. He sobbed into the blanket as he tried to get some oxigen into his lungs. But no matter how many times he tried, it seemed to be an impossible task. His lungs hurt. His eyes watered, the more he tried to force himself to breathe. It was like when the Joker put that tie on him and kept playing with how tight he could pull it until Tim passed out...

He barely heard the door open, but then there was an arm around him and his whole body trembled. His muscles wanted to go into attack mode, but from the lack of oxigen, and the sheer exhaustion that was now ever present in him didn't allow him. He was going to die. The Joker was back and he came for the revenge.

"Tim, kiddo... It's me.. It's okay," Dick's voice was gentle in his ear. Tim tried to force himself to breathe in deeply but it came in more as wheeze than anything else. Dick pulled away from him and opened the window slightly to let in some fresh air. The cold hit Tim's skin and he shivered, curling around himself to protect his organs. He put his forehead onto the mattress and pressed it down, as it that would help against a psychopath like the Joker. Then Dick's body was over him like a shield, solid against his back to make him safe, but not pressing down to make him feel even more suffocated.

"Breathe with me, Timmy. Breathe..." he whispered into Tim's hair, his hand gently closing around Tim's so the boy could cling to him. "In... Out... In... And out..."

Tim tried to mimick his breathing, but it came out shaky and hitched and he was failing so bad... Dick shushed him softly when he sobbed out again, holding the elder's hand so tightly he was sure he was gonna hurt Dick's fingers. But Dick didn't pull back, he stayed right there he was, dictating a slow rhythm for Tim to follow. And he kept it up until Tim's breathing was down to a normal pace.

"That's it, you're doing so well. Just keep on breathing," Dick praised softly, pressing a gentle kiss onto the back of Tim's head. Tim's whole body trembled under his, his fingers week in his, despite the obvious strain he was putting his muscles through.

"I'm sorry," Tim whispered, his voice rough.

Dick gave him another kiss on the head.  
"You don't have anything to apologise for. You're okay," he whispered, slowly running his thumb over the back of Tim's hand. "Do you want me to close the window?" he asked, feeling how cold the younger was even under the blanket and all that.

But to his surprise, Tim shook his head.  
"The smoke and the smell... Makes it hard to breath," he answered, still pressing close to Dick's body, even if he didn't need the man to set a rhythm for him to breathe anymore.

"Jason fell asleep, so he's no longer smoking. You only smell it, because it didn't air out. It should be okay now," Dick answered with a soft smile, laying onto his side so he could look at Tim face to face. Tim immediately plastered himself to his side and he brought the blankets with him, so both of them were now covered up to their necks.

"Was it Bruce who got him so angry?" Tim asked, pressing hit cold feet to Dick's. The man only smiled at that. 

"Yeah, stuff went down in the cave and they got at each other's throat. Just the usual," he sighed. "Was it really that bad? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Tim shook his head.  
"No, but he only chainsmokes to this extent when he's angry and can't beat someone up. He had two cigarette in his mouth when he arrived back," Tim replied. Dick threw an arm around him, pulling the younger's head onto his chest. Tim fit perfectly into his side, so small and slim and yet so strong.

"He'll be better tomorrow. He just needs to calm down on his own. Maybe he'll stress cook some pancakes for me in the morning," Dick mused, looking up onto the ceiling. The moonlight was painting it light, even if it only came in through the slight crack between the curtains. The material fluttered from the slight wind coming in through the window.

" You're going back to work in the morning, right?" Tim asked, not even looking up at Dick when the man nodded.

"Yeah, but we will be connected through the comms again. And I'll call when I can," he gave him another kiss, running his hand down Tim's arm. Tim hummed against his shoulder and closed his eyes. Dick closed the window with his free hand, before wrapping himself around the younger and closing his eyes.

*****************

The alarm went off at six and Dick fumbled to shut it off before it could wake Tim too. He took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose, before draping his arm over the younger again. Kill him for being selfish, but he enjoyed the cuddling he got out of the situation. He never got a single hug from the others, so he was going to cherish every second he could hold them. But he eventually had to get up, no matter how much he didn't want to.

He got out of the bed with care, and grabbed the first set of clothes he could put his hands on. He could change into his uniform at the station. He gave one last look at Tim, before closing the door behind himself. He immediately went for the bathroom to change and get ready before heading to the kitchen. And just as he predicted, Jason was at the stove, a cigarette hanging between his lips as he kept on cooking. Dick glanced into the pan, noting that Jason was making scrambled eggs. He frowned lightly.

"I was hoping for pancakes," he said to bring Jason's attention to himself. But the younger only grunted and took his cigarette between his fingers.

"Who said this is yours? Make your own pancakes," he said, not lifting his eyes to Dick. He kept on glaring at the eggs like they personally offended him.

"But I have to go to work. I hoped you would make enough for me too," Dick pouted, starting to make a coffee for himself. He was getting old, he couldn't handle all this drama during the night and then go to work fully charged and energized.

"Then you either eat eggs or fuck off," Jason said and exhaled the smoke. He put the eggs onto a plate that Dick took without hesitation. He would rather eat the eggs than leave hungry. He put the plate down then opened the window before sitting down. When Jason gave him a look, Dick sighed.

"The smoke sent Timmy into a panic attack last night, so we need to air out if you smoke in here," he said softly before putting a bite between his lips.

Jason rolled his eyes.  
"Then tell Bruce not to fuckin' piss me off. Then I will smoke less," he growled before starting another bach of eggs.

"He had to ask, and you know it," he spoke gently so there could be a chance that Jason wouldn't take it as an attack.  
He should've known better.

Jason slammed the spatula onto the kitchen counter.  
"And why the fuck didn't he ask you? You actually killed him once before! Or the brat, or Cass! It's not like I'm the only one of the bats with blood on my hands!" he said, throwing his hands into the air. Dick knew better than to actually answer. Having dated Barbara and Kori long term, he learned that people sometimes only wanted to bitch and didn't want to hear the answers.

He was glad that his guess was proven right as Jason finally put out his cigarette and dropped the butt into the glass on the windowsill.  
"Did you guys actually start to investigate?" he asked in a much softer tone, as if he was suddenly reminded that they needed to be quiet.

Dick nodded.  
"Yeah, Dami, B and I went to the power-plant. No DNA, only the pool that held the toxin. The fire cleaned up everything that could show that Timmy had been there. They want to go back tonight and start a search in the surrounding forest," he answered. The power-plant was bit south from the Burneside and from the airport, right between Gotham and Blüdhaven. Being on the mainland, it was surrounded by forest instead of the water that kept most of Gotham away from the reasonably normal people of the nation.

"They won't find it there," Jason sighed softly, finally sitting down with his own breakfast. Dick watched as Jason started eating.

"Is it still in Gotham?" he asked. He didn't want anything to do with it, but he needed to know in case he had to redirect Bruce from wherever the Joker's body was.

Jason shrugged.  
"Let's just say that Gotham's morgues don't really care if the cremating stuff is on while they're on lunch break or not," he said. Dick nodded. At least this was calming. This way, there was absolutely no chance of Bruce ever finding it. Jason continued munching on his food, not bothering to swallow before speaking up again." The only problem is that I don't know where the Red Robin suit is."

Dick hummed.  
"It wasn't in there?"

Jason shook his head.  
"Gonna be honest with ya, I didn't look for it. The place was disgusting, I grabbed the monster and left. But if the Pretender wasn't wearing it, it has to be somewhere," he said. And he was right. Their suits weren't flammable, the Joker couldn't have burned it. And Tim's suit had so many traps and gadgets built into it, it wouldn't be easy to get rid of it.

Dick rubbed his eyes, but nodded his head.  
"Okay, I get on that case," he said, before finishing the rest of his coffee. "Are you staying?"

Jason didn't meet his gaze.  
"Yeah."

"Thanks, I'll try to be back as soon as possible. If you need me, you know how to reach me," he said and put his plate in the sink. He looked to the side to see if there was leftovers, and did his best not to make a face when he saw that the pan was empty." Can you please try and feed Tim? I'm still kind of lost about that, "he requested softly. He turned to look at Jason, so the younger would see that he is serious, but only got a mocking smile in return.

" Sure, Dickie, I'll feed your pet," he answered and continued chewing as if nothing happened.

Dick rolled his eyes.  
"I'm serious. This is important."

"I know. But worrying about it won't make him hungry," Jason shrugged nonchalantly.

He was right. Dick knew that Jason was right and it infuriated him to no end.  
"Just try, please." he said before grabbing his things. He checked he had everything one last time, then turned to look back into the kitchen where Jason didn't even bother to get up from his seat. "Call me if anything happens. No matter what," he called out again to make sure it settled in the youngest's brain. He knew Jason would rather die again than to ask him for help, but he could still offer it to make sure the man knew he was serious.

"Yeah, yeah. Now fuck off to work," Jason nodded his head in an exaggerated fashion, turning back to his tea.

Dick sighed but didn't say anything anymore. He never hated his work more than in that moment.

******************

Tim's footsteps had never been loud, but ever since he came back they became completely silent. He was already walking carefully, because while his scars already started developing the scar tissue, he didn't want to open them up again. And this combined with that his feet were bandaged and that muffled the rest of the sound was enough to make his steps completely silent.

He walked out of the room and looked around. Dick had left for work hours ago, and yet there was a sound in the living room as the television went on. Tim pressed himself against the wall so he would have some leverage if there was an attacker in the apartment. He wasn't in any state to defend himself, but just the thought of pain made him want to vomit. He wanted to hide. But he was a bat, so he needed to conquer his fear more than anything. So he inched forward and leaned down just enough so he could peer over the doorframe. Jason was sitting on the couch, a folded blanket and a pillow on the armrest. He spread out on the couch as if he owned the place. There was a cigarette hanging between his lips, but it wasn't lit, and Tim was thankful for that.

The boy pulled back and let out a relieved breath. It was safe. Nobody was going to hurt him.

"Why we hidin', Pretender?" Jason asked, and Tim's whole body shivered as he turned to the side. He didn't hear Jason get up from the couch, but now he was standing right next to him. He really needed to get himself together, everyone kept sneaking up on him so easily.

"Didn't know you would be here..." Tim whispered, pressing his back against the wall. He started rubbing his fingers once again.

"I damn nearly smoked ya out yesterday, so I'm hella sure you knew I was here," Jason snorted. He knew Dick wasn't joking about that, because the elder messaged him right after he left to make sure all of the apartment was aired out.

"I just..." Tim didn't meet his eyes. "I didn't think you would stay. You should..." he started, but Jason cut in before he had a chance to finish the sentence.

"If you start Dickhead's bullshit about it being better for me to stay away, I'll throw you out of the window," he warned and Tim didn't even bother to finish his sentence. At least he had enough sense to shut up, unlike Dick who kept on bringing it up over and over again." If I decide to stay, then I'm staying. "

Tim kept on rubbing his fingers.  
"But I hurt you," he muttered so softly Jason could barely hear him.

"No, you almost hurt me," Jason answered. "And honestly, if we're talkin' 'bout that, I'm still winning," he smiled and almost reached forward to gently run his hand over the scar on Tim's neck, but he caught himself in time. The bruise from the Joker on his neck was now fading, but he saw how Tim' s whole body shook. So he didn't touch his neck, but reached for his hands. "Stop that." he laced his fingers between Tim's so the younger couldn't continue to rub at the already damaged skin. He lifted the small hand up so he could see it better. Tim's skin was dry like the Sahara, his fingers long and slim, just how you would imagine a rich boy's hands to be. The places where the skin broke were covered in tiny little cuts, the digits of his fingers red like they've been burned. He kept on rubbing them since he came back and Jason wouldn't put it past the boy that he was washing his hands with steaming hot water. He knew Dick was still helping Tim shower to help him with scars, but during the rest of the day, nobody monitored how hot the water was when he used it.

"Why are you doing this?" Jason asked, not letting go of Tim's hand as he steered the boy towards the kitchen. Tim didn't answer him, only shrugged. Jason led them into the kitchen and then all but pushed Tim down into a chair.

"What are you doing?" Tim asked. He wasn't in the mood to fight against the bigger man, but that didn't mean he appreciated being pushed around.

"Giving you breakfast," Jason answered as he started searching for something in the fridge.

Tim let out a sigh.  
"Jason, I'm fine, you don't..." he was cut off as Jason slammed a protein shaker bottle onto the table in front of him. It had a weird greenish brown colour and Tim eyed it dubiously. "What's this?"

"Your breakfast," Jason seemed all too pleased with himself. Now Tim was sure it was rigged.

"It looks like someone diarrhead into a bottle," he said, pulling further back on his seat.

"You're just bitchy," Jason snarled back. "This has more nutritional value than whatever the fuck Dickbag tried to feed you, and yet you can take more of it than actual food. And you'll get one of this every three or four hours and in a few days you may get some mashed potatoes," he said. Honestly, he was quite proud of this plan. Dick hasn't though of this method yet and Tim obviously wasn't thinking about feeding himself, so it left Jason to come up with the genius ideas.

"What am I, a baby? Only allowed liquids until I won't choke on solid foods?" he asked and there was a little bit more bite in his voice than when Jason asked him about the coffee candy.

To not let on how pleased he was with this development, Jason quickly answered:  
" Yeah, you're the Babybird. Now be happy I don't spit it into your mouth and drink that shit," he pushed the bottle closer to Tim. There was still a slight frown on his brows as Tim grabbed the bottle and slowly lifted up. He opened it up to smell it before taking a tentative sip from it.

"It's not that bad," he admitted softly, hiding the cold bottle in both hands. It chilled his skin, but it felt nice for once.

"See? There was no need to shit your pants," Jason said and sat down into the seat opposite of Tim. He watched as the younger took small sips from the shake.

"Thanks," Tim whispered, strickly keeping his gaze on the bottle.

"What was that, Replacement? I didn't hear you," Jason teased, the shit eating grin on his face unmovable.

Tim glared at the table.  
"I said thank you," he repeated louder, but the frown between his brows made it clear that he hated to say it.

But honestly, that just made it sweeter to Jason.  
"You're very welcome, Replacement." he grinned, all too satisfied. "Now, how long do you think you can stay awake?" he asked, drumming his fingers on the table for a moment.

Tim shrugged, still nursing the bottle.  
"I don't know. I don't have much energy to do much, but I'm not too tired right now," he answered. Most of his days were spent sleeping since he came to Blüdhaven. Having eaten close to nothing, he had nothing to get energy from.

"Honestly, I doubt you could even stay standing for more than a few minutes. Not that you could leave the apartment without Dickie freaking the fuck out," Jason mused. Then he slammed his hand onto the table, quickly pulling it back when he saw how Tim flinched." So what about binging The Office?" he asked. He already knew the answer when he saw the slight quirk of Tim's lips, the very first one he got since he met the boy a few days ago in that apartment.

"That sounds nice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments you left on the last chapter, they made me so happy! So please, if you can, leave a comment after yourself! Thank you so much for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are absolutely blowing my mind with the amount of positive responses to this story! Over 50 bookmarks on only 6 chapters? That's crazy. Thank you so so so much!

"B, this is completely useless," Dick sighed, letting his flashlight down. He was cold, he was dirty, he was hungry and utterly annoyed. They have been out in the forest for almost five hours at this point and they haven't found a single thing that would prove that the Joker's body was somewhere is there. And the fact that Dick actually knew what happened to the Joker's body didn't help his case.

"Keep searching," Bruce said. His cape got caught in a branch, but with a quick and powerful pull he freed it. It was only because of the reinforced fabric that it didn't tear.

"Father, Grayson is right. If the corpse was in here, we would've found something at this point. If they buried it, there would be a trail where they pulled it. If it was just out there to rot, the animals would've feasted on it. Either way, it's not retrievable, " Damian reasoned. He was just as annoyed as Dick, if not more. Sure, a murder case was exciting, but just like the rest of them, Damian was on the opinion that they should just leave the Joker to rot. He could've spent the night patrolling instead of looking around the forest with a flashlight.

"It's no use, anyway. It's been almost a week since the rumours started, at this point the body is probably way too rotten for us to be able to take anything from it," Dick said and exhaled, leaning against a tree. He wanted to go home so bad.

"We'll never know. So keep searching," Bruce hissed through his teeth, not stopping even for a moment.

Dick waited until Damian went on his way again before going after Bruce. He knew better than to grab the man's shoulder when he was so stressed so he just stood really close to him. He shut off the comms.  
"Why are you so wind up about this? Is it because it's the Joker?" he asked barely loud enough for Bruce to hear.

"People are going to think it was me," Bruce answered, not lifting his gaze from the ground as he looked over the branches and the ground.

Dick almost smiled in relief. He thought it will be much harder to pry the truth out of the man.  
"Then we'll just shut a rumour down. The tabloids haven't picked the word up yet, so we can prepare for that. But there is no need to ran ourselves to death because of this," he answered softly, finally reaching out and squeezing Bruce's shoulder. "You know just as well as we do that the body is not here. We're only wasting time."

"Almost all of the cars were gone by the time the footage is on again. Almost fourteen hours of it is gone, there is no way for us to see what cars have been there, who went and gone," Bruce said, finally stopping and letting the light down. Dick made a face.

"Then we go back to patrol, because the others are exhausted and I really need to look out for 'Haven too, and one by one we start searching all the cars we know about," he offered. He massaged his neck before shrugging when Bruce didn't answer. "Sorry, this is the best I can come up with, we've been at this for days and I'm exhausted."

Then finally, Bruce let out a deep breath.  
"You're right," he said, turning around. "Go home. I'll start looking up where all the cars are, and follow them up. I'll call you if we need back-up, but otherwise, just... Do what you need to do in your city," he said and grasped Dick's shoulder firmly, squeezing it for a moment. If Dick didn't wasn't so sure that it was just the dark playing with his eyes, he would've thought Bruce smiled at him.

But then Bruce started walking back, raising his hand to his comm unit.  
"Robin, we're done. Back to the cave for reporting, starting tomorrow we get back to patrol," he said, so sure as if he was the one to come up with the idea.

Dick almost laughed out loud when he heard Damian sigh out a 'Finally!' before the boy was already running ahead. Damian was ready to be back on the streets and beat up bad guys. Dick missed being so young and energetic. By now, his knees were hurting and he would absolutely kill for a full body massage.

He didn't even bother to go back to the cave, he immediately rode back to Blüdhaven. He almost rolled his eyes when he spotted an armed robbery. He got off just enough to beat the guy into pulp, give the girl her purse back before disappearing again. By the time, he was finally getting into his apartment, it was a bit past three in the morning. Jason looked up, when he got through the window, but once he saw that it was only him, he let his head fall back onto the pillow and he was out again. Dick wanted to reprimand him for being satisfied with his sight only, but he was in no mood to deal with tired Jason.

He took a quick shower and changed into pajamas Tim now routinely put out for him. He smiled as he changed, immediately going for his bedroom. He was ready to collapse into bed and just curl up around Tim and pull the blankets over his head.

He heard the boy hyperventilating before he even saw him. The youngers must have agreed that Tim would sleep with the door open, when it was only the two of them. But since Jason's ears were not a hundred percent accurate, he would definitely not hear Tim having a nightmare, let alone wake up to it. Dick let out a sigh. He was tired, oh so tired.

He hurried to Tim's side. The boy's entire body was spazming as he tried curling into himself even tighter. Tears were streaming down his face, his lips falling open for a scream, but only his breaths were coming out.  
"Timmy, kiddo, wake up..." he called out softly and gently touched the boy's shoulder. Tim's hand was on his throat before he could stop him.

Tim's eyes were wide, his breath rugged, the only reason his hold was weak was his condition. Otherwise, if he had his normal strength, he could've done some real damage. Once his eyes truly took in Dick's form, he pulled back, holding his hand tighly against his chest.  
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he muttered, gripping his own wrist as if he could bind himself like that.

Dick leaned forward and brought him into a tight embrace, pressing his head against the boy's.  
"It's okay, Timmy, it's okay. It was just a nightmare," he whispered, before pressing kisses onto his hair. He rocked them back and forth slowly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Tim kept on muttering, his whole body trembling.

"Timmy, listen to me," he said, leaning down so he could speak directly next to Tim's ear. "We all have our nightmares. We all have our demons and our defensive reflexes. I have them too. If you touched me while I was having a nightmare, I would've hit you. Jason has a knife under his pillow. It's only normal you have one too. I would be more concerned if you hadn't," he said, still clutching the younger against himself.

Tim pressed his forehead against Dick's shoulder.  
"I can't hurt you. I can't hurt you too," he whined, his whole body shaking in Dick's arms.

"You didn't, baby, you didn't. I'm fine. I'm okay. You didn't hurt me," Dick assured. He pushed Tim back down onto the mattress before climbing over him so he could lie down next to him. He pulled the covers over them before holding the boy close again. He stroked his palm down his arms, pulling him as close as he possibly could, intertwining their legs. It took minutes until Tim's breathing finally normalised, his sobs dying down.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again, but this time it was different.

Dick smiled and gave another kiss to his head.  
"You don't have to be. This happens to all of us. Nightmares come with job," he said, smiling softly. He traced small patterns onto Tim's side through his shirt.

"How was patrol?" Tim asked, obviously trying to change the subject. He clutched onto Dick's shirt with shaky fingers, the first time he ever made an attempt to hold Dick back. Dick smiled and inhaled the younger's scent that was now almost permanently fused with his own shower gel and shampoo.

"Just the usual. Robbery here, robbery there, bar fight. Nothing notable, but still tiring," he sighed, rolling onto his back and pulling Tim onto his chest. He couldn't let Tim find out that Bruce was onto them. He and Jason had laid down enough false evidence and got rid of the real ones to throw even the World's Greatest Detective off for a few months. Once Tim was okay enough to truly start thinking about what happened and the consequences they will bring, they can start working on a plan. Until then, they were solely on defensive.

"The city never sleeps," Tim commented softly, burying his face in Dick's shirt. He inhaled deep and closed his eyes. Dick kept his fingers in Tim's hair to keep him close, but he didn't need to hold him there, Tim just laid his head on his chest, content enough to try and go back to sleep. He seemed more peaceful than ever before. Dick denied the urge to just squeeze the boy into a bear hug and just smiled widely. He knew Tim could hear his heartbeat, but it was thundering in his ribcage. The last few weeks had been so dark, he could let himself have this moment of happiness. Maybe everything will get better.

*****************

Jason slurped on his tea as he watched the morning cartoons on the television. Spongebob was still far more interesting than whatever vigilante work he ignored in the last days, and he intended to keep doing so. He knew that after a while he would miss the buzz of the adrenaline in his veins, but right now he was at the point where it was nice to just laze around, even if he only slept on the couch.

He glanced at the door when he saw Tim move towards the bathroom but then went back to the cartoon. The Replacement was alive, Dick was home, and all was well in the shithole people called Earth. As well as it could be in their lives.

He looked towards the door again when he didn't hear the bathroom door opening or closing. His hearing may have been shit, but he wasn't deaf. Tim stood by the bathroom door, his back facing Jason. He held a bundle of clothes to his chest and just watched the door as if it was an enigma he needed to solve before he could enter the promised land of showering. Jason sighed and pushed himself off the couch.

"Why are ya standing there like someone just ran a rod up your ass?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe. Tim didn't flinch this time when he heard him.

"Just... I don't want to wake Dick. He's really tired," he muttered, his hold tightening on his clothes.

"Why the fuck would ya need..." Jason didn't seen finish his question, before he realised what Tim was talking about. Dick had been helping his shower. He originally thought the man only put the bandages on the third Robin, but he spent the entire time in the bathroom with Tim. Jason almost hit his head against the wall. "Don't fuckin' tell me ya still need help showering?"

His tone must have come down harsher for the boy than he calculated, because Tim's gaze immediately went onto the floor, his fingers now rubbing at the material the way they would usually rub against each other.  
"I can't take care of the scars on my back," he answered so softly Jason almost didn't catch it.

Jason sighed. He needed a smoke really bad in that moment.  
"It's been over a week, haven't most of your scars healed enough yet?" he asked, while rubbing his forehead. He brought this upon himself. Him and his big fuckin' heart, he should've just let them suffer and figure it out themselves.

Tim shook his head, his back curving as if he wanted to get away from an unwanted touch.  
"Not that one."

Jason groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. If anyone ever says that he was a bad person after this, he was going to gut them.  
"Fine, I'll help you. But if you ever tell anyone about this, I'll end you, got it?" he warned, pointing at Tim with one finger, and before the boy even had a chance to answer, he pushed him forward and into the bathroom. He turned on the light and closed the toilet lid so he could sit.

Tim put the clothes next to the sink, before he grabbed a towel and threw it onto them. He gave Jason a cautious look before he started stripping. When he was down to his underwear and only the bandages were covering him up, he turned to the elder.  
"Can you help me take these off?" he requested, gesturing towards his left shoulder blade where Dick secured the bandages.

Jason made a face but stood up and started working off the bandages. They had actually ditched the rest of it, even Tim's feet were bare when he didn't put on the fluffy socks Dick actually got him just because of this. The rest of his cuts and bruises were also unveiled, so Jason thought it was weird that they still kept the one that covered all of Tim's torso. He was just about to make a comment about that, when he saw the reason. His stomach churned, and suddenly, he was truly glad he only had his tea yet.

Starting for the boy's right shoulder, a gash ran down his entire back until it disappeared into his underwear at his left buttcheek. It was not wide, the stitches held it togethee, but deep and long, as if a part of him had been cut out. It had started to form a scar tissue already, but it was clear it could open up any second if Tim as much as laid down on his back without many layers of protection between his back and the surface.

Jason had so many questions, but he held them back. He just dropped the bandages onto the floor and took a step back.  
"It's done," he said and Tim nodded unsurely before stepping away. Jason turned to study the bathroom door as he heard the water turn on and eventually Tim stepping under it.

"I-It's okay," the boy called out and Jason turned back towards him. Tim was standing under the water, his hair plastered to his face from the stream. He had his back towards Jason, once again back to playing with his fingers.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, stepping to the open door. The warmth of the steam hit him, but it wasn't anything that would bother him.

"I'm going to wash my hair. Can you make sure the shampoo doesn't go into it?" Tim asked, lifting Dick's shampoo from the rack beside the faucet.

Jason nodded his head, even though Tim didn't see it.  
"Sure," he said and took of his shirt and sweatpants so they wouldn't get wet. In only his boxers, he stepped close enough to be able to comfortably reach out. Even if he wasn't directly under the stream, the warm drops fell onto his skin, warming him up. He ran his hands over the rugged old scars on Tim's milky skin, keeping from touching the scar.

"Does it hurt?" he couldn't help but ask. He could see the antiseptic around the edges. It was obvious that they kept disinfecting it every single time the bandages came off.

Tim held his head under the water to wash the shampoo out before he answered.  
"Not more than anything else. It's just that when soap gets into it it really stings. And we really don't want to tear it open," he said softly shrugging gently. "It took Dick a really long time to patch it up this much."

Jason lifted an eyebrow. He kept the soap away from the wound, but he strictly kept his hands on the height of Tim's hips and up. The part of the cut down at his butt was the only part that was fully closed.  
"What happened?" he asked, much softer than usual.

Tim didn't answer for a long time. And even if Jason wasn't much to give a damn about other people's feelings, he was ready to change the subject. That's when the soft whisper caught his attention.  
"He cut me out of my suit," Tim answered. Jason didn't need the rest added, his brain automatically filled it in. _"Then he just made sure to press the knife down that extra few inch."_

"Did you take antibiotics? Or something?" Jason just couldn't imagine the Joker cleaning the wound he caused. And with Tim's immune system...

"Dick gave me a shot, but that was it. He doesn't feel comfortable giving me an infusion, and since I can't stomach food, I can't take medicine..." he shrugged. "He cleaned it every way possible, but his hands are tied." 

Jason now stepped fully into the shower and reached over Tim's shoulder to grab the shower gel. He poured some over his palm before giving it to Tim.  
"Maybe if you asked someone who actually has some medical knowledge?" he asked, his tone back to his usual asshole-ness.

Tim sighed.  
"You know we can't go to a hospital. Bruce would..." he started, looking at Jason over his shoulder. The man didn't meet his eyes, just continued gently rubbing the soap onto the skin around the wound.

"I was talking about Alfred."

This was enough to shut him up. Jason shook his head in disapproval. He was the only fucking person in Gotham who had any common sense. He could almost hear all the self-deprecating thoughts running through Tim's head of why he wasn't worthy of ever meeting the old butler again.

"I just don't want him to see me so... " Tim answered, turning back towards the shower head so he wouldn't have to look at Jason.

"So what? He literally held all our head as we threw up at some point," Jason reminded him. Alfred was basically a parent to all of them, raising them from fuck-ups to being a bit less fucked up. Sure, not even he could make them less emotionally constipated, but even he had to fail sometimes to remind people he wasn't a god.

"Broken." Tim only answered in that one word. Just like every time, his hands came up to rub his fingers. Jason will have to ask him about that at some point, because he was sure that the Pretender didn't have that habit before.

He exhaled long through his nose before grabbing Tim's shoulders and turning him around so they were face to face. Tim's eyes widened in surprise and he would have slipped if Jason didn't hold him steadily.  
"Listen here," the man called out, grabbing Tim's chin with one hand so he could force him to look up. "Alfred is the only person who ever accepted who I became and what I chose to do. I kill people because I believe that's right and I have more blood on my hands than you can imagine. What I do is a deliberate choice. What you did was self-defence. So don't insult Alfie by thinking he would ever turn his back on you, "he said, still gripping Tim's chin and shoulder hard. The younger's eyes strayed down so their gazes wouldn't meet. His eyes eventually fell onto the almost perfectly Y shaped scar on his chest that ran down his entire torso. It was almost the same length as the one on Tim's back, just a tiny bit longer.

Jason couldn't help but snort at the thought of that.  
"Yeah, the coroner's hand was a bit more steady than the Joker's," he grinned. Which caused Tim to close his eyes and groan.

"Not funny," he muttered, gently pushing on Jason's chest so the elder was forced to take a step back and get out of the shower.

"I thought it was," Jason chuckled to himself as he grabbed a spare towel from the cabinet under the sink. He dried himself off and got dressed as Tim did so to himself and put on his boxer. By the time Jason was fully dressed, Tim already had the first aid kit out. Jason took the box and started pourinf the antiseptic onto a cotton ball and then started patting it along the younger's back. He carefully cleaned it up, not wanting to be the reason it got infected again.

"You really think he would want to see me?" Tim asked, using the opportunity that Jason couldn't look at him. 

"He probably reads your note every single day twice. So yeah, I think so," he said with as much sass as he could, so he could cover up the care he felt. He was happy to drop it, so he didn't try to get him talk again. 

Tim gave the gauze into his hands and he wrapped him up in silence. He secured it under Tim's arm, before patting his sides.  
"You're done," he said before stepping away so Tim could comfortably get dressed.

"Thanks," Tim said softly, pulling the sides of his lips that he probably intended to be a smile.

Jason nodded, and scratched his neck.  
"Next time just say something instead of waiting for me to read your fucking mind," he said and put his hand on the doorknob. "As a punishment, you will have a shake and you will eat a whole banana." He got all the satisfaction he needed from the scared look on Tim's face.

"That's a lot," Tim breathed softly, clutching Dick's sweatshirt from the police academy to his chest.

"And you will keep it down," Jason smiled and left the bathroom before Tim even had the chance to retaliate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, leave a comment after yourself! I truly adore reading them all an dthey always make me so happy! :D Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all the comments you left the last chapter, they made me really happy! Thank you so much!

"I don't think this is a good idea," Dick said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He and Jason were standing on the street in front of his apartment building. Jason was already mounting his bike, his helmet already in his hands. Being the middle of the day, he took one of Dick's generic black ones, so he wouldn't get much attention.

The younger let out a long, suffering groan.  
" Why the fuck not? The Replacement needs someone more capable than you and I to look at his back, and it might do good for his mind too. As well as Alfie is worried sick, it would definitely help him if no one else," he said, leaning onto the bike.

"I just don't want him to put on the _I'm fine_ mask, because that would only cause more damage than anything else. I don't think he's ready to shoulder more expectations about getting better than he already does from the two of us," he said, pulling his shoulders up. He knew he was supposed to be the positive member of the family, but at this point, even he could only think of the bad outcomes.

Jason rolled his eyes.  
"Have you even talked to him about this? " he asked. He knew the answer already, but he needed Dick to admit it out loud.

Dick shook his head.  
"No. I didn't want to spring it on him like that," he said. Jason nodded along, holding Dick's gaze the entire time.

"Exactly. You haven't. I had. He's scared shitless, but he wants Alfie. And if you coddle him until the end of the fucking time, he will never be better," he said, pulling his leather gloves onto his hands.

Still, Dick wasn't convinced.  
"I don't know..."

"Just trust me on this one, Dickbag. I got him to eat and I was the one who got him emotionally responsive, so I have a good track record with this," he said and put on the helmet, deciding the conversation was over on his part. The bike came to life under him, and before Dick could even try to say anything else, Jason was already speeding off.

Dick let out a sigh and turned around. He would sell his soul to have a peaceful day, but it was impossible with his lifestyle. Still, dreaming about it couldn't hurt anybody. He jogged up the stairs before opening the door to his apartment. He kicked off his shoes before walking into the living room.

Tim stole the blanket Jason was now using, and wrapped himself up in it like a burrito, with only his head and his socks out of it. His hair was standing in every direction, his eyes glued onto the screen as he watched whatever episode of the Office Jason and he were watching earlier. He looked home-y and comfortable. Dick grabbed his ankles gently and lifted his feet up, so he could sit down, before taking Tim's feet into his lap. The younger only gave him a look before deciding he didn't care enough to fight against Dick.

Dick pulled the material off his feet to examine the wounds. He ran his thumb along the sole of the foot, and gently prodded at the scar tissue. He smiled when Tim didn't even hiss.  
"It's so much better now," he commented, pulling the sock back onto the younger. Tim nodded against the covers and lifted his eyes onto Dick.

"Most of them are almost completely healed. It's only the one on my back that's not fine yet," he said, turning onto his back so he could watch Dick easier.

"It will get better," Dick smiled, keeping his hands on Tim's ankle. "You're already like a thousand times better than when you walked in," he said softly, turning his eyes onto the television screen, so he wouldn't have to watch Tim's reaction.

"I'm sorry it's taking so long."

Dick's head snapped back towards Tim.  
"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. You're doing so well, and honestly, I'm a little shocked that it was less than two weeks. And I'm really happy you're here," he said, squeezing Tim's leg a little. "It's been a while since we spent time together, just being us, not solving cases. Traumatic as this may be," he chuckled humorlessly to himself.

Tim slowly got into a sitting position, and moved closer to Dick, so his legs were in his lap instead of his feet. He leaned against the backrest and wiggled his arms out of his cocoon.

"You know I wouldn't be better if not for you, right?" he asked, watching Dick intently. His hair was a mess, Dick's sweater falling off his slim shoulder. But his eyes were alive, the dark circles under it having disappeared from the many hours he spent sleeping lately. He looked so young and beautiful. Dick reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear so it wouldn't get in his eyes.

"You probably slept more these last few days than in the last eleven years combined," he joked, directly avoiding the topic Tim brought up. He still didn't feel like he did enough as it seemed that Jason was the one who truly got Tim and knew what was good for him.

Tim snorted.  
"Because you guys won't give me any coffee," he replied easily, looking at the empty protein shaker on the table.

"It's not good for you," Dick pouted.

"You're lucky I got through the worst of the withdrawal symptoms while I was down there," he said, not realising how light his tone was. It's been so hard to pry any information out of him this far, this was the first time he shared something about his time with the Joker willingly. Then his eyes turned sad again." Funny thing, because he was the one who gave me that addiction in the first place."

"You wanna talk about it?" Dick whispered, barely loud enough to be heard through the noise of the TV. Jason might say it was better to push for a little development, but Dick just couldn't. He still felt like it was too early to talk about things. But if Tim wanted to share something, he would listen without a moment of hesitation.

Tim looked at the wall behind the TV, his eyes distant. He squeezed his lips together as he tried to decide what to say, or if he should say anything at all.  
"I don't think anyone noticed, but after the Joker Junior incident, I kind of quit sleeping," he said, arriving on his decision. He didn't have to look at Dick to know how surprised he was. "Bruce sent me away, so you guys didn't have a way of knowing. But I just couldn't go to sleep. Sleeping meant dreams, dreaming meant nightmares. I felt sick to the stomach if I just thought about going to sleep. So I just quit doing it." he shrugged, pulling the covers back over his shoulders." I started drinking coffee heavily so it would keep me awake to the point where I would physically shut off and just fall asleep wherever I was," he chuckled to himself. "My record was actually five days, before I collapsed in the school corridor. Although at that point I've been hallucinating for days."

"Timmy..."

"I guess I just never really got back onto a relatively normal sleeping schedule after that," he said.

Dick exhaled through his nose and threw his arm around Tim's shoulder to pull him even closer, so he could press a kiss onto the top of his head.  
"I never knew how you got through that. Bruce handled that so emotionally well as he does everything else," he commented.

Tim leaned his head onto his shoulder without thinking about it.  
"Well, not sleeping definitely gave me time to think about the situation. I also changed my laugh, which helped a lot," he answered.

Dick raised an eyebrow.  
"You changed your laugh?"

Tim nodded.  
"Yeah. I couldn't really laugh for a long while, because it reminded me of him. No matter what happened, how funny it was, I would force myself not to laugh. Then when I was with Young Justice, instead of forcing myself to stay stoic, I started forcing out a different sounding laugh. Eventually, that became my normal laugh. It made me feel like I was in control again, and he was finally out of my head," he admitted. "I know it sounds stupid, but this is what worked for me."

Dick looked down at him with a gentle smile.  
"You're talking to a guy who uses humour to cope. I'm pretty sure nothing is stupid as long as it works," he said into the soft, black strands. He inhaled the scent. "Did you wash your hair?" he asked, leaning back again to take another whiff from the stands.

Tim looked up at him with innocent eyes.  
"Yeah, Jason helped me shower this morning," he replied softly.

Dick gasped, as dramatic as he could be.  
"Timmy, you cheated on me? Those were our special moments! I can't believe you'd do this to me!" he complained, latching himself onto the younger in an octopus hug. His heart skipped a beat when he heard the soft laugh in his arms and Tim gently hugged him back.

****************

Jason sipped his tea, cherishing the taste of chamomile in his mouth. The manor was empty except for Alfred and him. Bruce was still at work, Damian in school, and it was way too early for anyone else to be down in the cave. And it gave them time without Jason feeling the pressure to put on a front for the others. With Alfred, he could just be himself.

Alfred set down his cup with a graceful movement so the china didn't even make a sound. He gently dabbed at his mouth before he leaned back in his seat.  
"Now, Master Jason, how is the little stray you've been taking care of?" he asked, his hands a bit tight on his knee.

Jason smiled. They've been there for over half an hour at that point, he was surprised Alfred lasted that long with without asking about Tim. Especially after the message he gave him almost two weeks ago.  
"He's doing okay I guess, but it's not like I know what I'm doing. Could use your help, honestly," he said. Earlier he set his bag down on the floor, which he now kicked over, letting the books in it spill over the floor.

"Oh my," Alfred said and leaned down around the same time Jason did so.

"Tomorrow night, Dick will give you a reason to visit him in the Cave. I don't know what he will say, but pay attention to him," he said as he stuffed the books back into the book. Alfred caught his gaze, but didn't nod his head. He took the information in, and one look was enough for them to get onto the same page.

"My dear boy, what about all these books?" he asked, bringing the conversation where it should've been in the first place. He traced his finger down the spine of 'A Gentleman in Moscow'.

"I brought them back so I can steal some other ones," Jason shrugged, setting his bag back into its place.

"I'm rather sure nobody would mind if you some kept them. And you don't have to refer to it as stealing," he said with a gentle smile, setting the book onto the little coffee table between them.

Jason smiled.  
"I have an image to hold up, Alfie, I can't let the others see me soften," he said with a soft laugh. This earned him a fond smile and a shake of his head from Alfred.

"Would you like some help putting them away?" he asked, standing up when Jason threw the bag onto his shoulder. Jason knew the butler was aware, that he would never let him do some serious work that included lifting heavy things. But even if him and rest of the bats tried their best to take off some workloads off the man's shoulders, he will never fully let them leave him to rest.

So he smiled and nodded his head.  
"That would be nice, thanks, Alfie."

********************

Normally, Alfred left them alone to go through the meeting, but seeing that Cassandra, Stephanie and Jason insisted on keeping eating sandwiches and drinking his tea, Alfred used that as a chance to stay in the Cave while they waited for everyone. He had a inkling that Jason only did it because he wanted Alfred to stay, and the girls just hopped on train, because neither of them would turn down any free food.

Dick's motorbike rolled in and he threw off his black and blue helmet.  
"I'm so sorry, there was a robbery in Haven, and I was still in uniform and we needed to..." he rambled, jumping off the bike, almost tripping over it, before doing a graceful twirl to keep himself on his feet.

"Dick, we know. Let's get started so we don't waste any more time," Bruce sighed, pulling up a file on the computer. Alfred looked at the pictures on the screen. Two cars, one on the highway, one of them completely burned down, turned onto its side in one of Gotham's alleys.

"I see cars. Are we playing I spy? I always thought we were above that, but if ya need help with words, I suggest the library upstairs," Jason said with a wry smile, raising his half-eaten sandwich in a toast-like manner.

Bruce gave him a dry look, but didn't bother with comment.  
"As you all know, there is a fourteen hours blind part between the time we last saw the power-plant and before the cameras came back on, by the time the fire was already on," he started. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, covering up the bat symbol. "The rest of the cars we know about didn't display any any abnormal behaviour, so for now we're leaving them alone unless we have any reason not to. These two, however are different." He picked up a manilla folder from the desk and held it out for Dick.

"The last sight we managed to find if it was on the highway towards Blüdhaven. Look into it. Whoever killed the Joker, may have escaped with that car," he said. Dick grabbed the folder and opened it up.

"Sure thing," he said. They erased most camera footage that showed the car going anywhere near Dick's apartment, so they at least didn't have to worry about Bruce finding that. And Jason had a lot of fun trashing that car at the junkyard.

Bruce nodded his head before turning back to the others.  
"The other one is barely a corner away from the Gotham morgue, which is really problematic. If our killer had actually cremated the body, we won't be able to find it or get any lead from it on who may have done it. And as you can see, the car that was probably used to transport the body has burned down, so we have no way of getting any DNA from it, from the Joker or the culprit. Still, I want everybody looking for any footage or lead on this, because it can be crucial," he ordered. Cass nodded her head, before giving Alfred a kiss on the cheek as a thanks when she placed her teacup on his tray.

Unlike her, Stephanie only frowned.  
"You know what I think of this," she grit her teeth, glaring at Bruce over the cup.

"I know, Steph, but this is not all," he said. He tapped the keyboard, and changed the images to bring up reports, all of them written by themselves. "I had Selina talk to some of our A Class villains, to see if they knew anything about the Joker. Whereabouts, whether he is dead or alive, anything. Every single one of them said the same thing," he held a short pause. Alfred almost rolled his eyes; Bruce was a drama queen, had always been. "That the Joker disappeared a month and a half ago."

"The same time Tim disappeared," Stephanie gasped, her frown melting off her face to give place to her surprise as her brain went into overdrive.

"Exactly. After the rumours of the Joker's death rose up, Poison Ivy actually had her plants look for him, and he literally vanished off the Earth. This is what gives confirmation to his death, currently. And in case he was actually disappeared the same time as Tim, and now the Joker is dead but Tim is still missing..."

"Then whoever killed the Joker may have Tim!" Stephanie shouted out. Dick couldn't help but smile at that. It was interesting how quickly her mood changed.

"Exactly. So now that we know that these things are linked, I want everyone putting everything into this. Start with the cars, until we can work our way up with any leads," Bruce gave out the orders, emphasising it by putting on his cowl.

Stephanie put her cup down into the tray and clapped her hands together.  
"Ya heard the man, y'all! We got work to do!" she said and was already running to her bike with Cass right behind her. It was like everyone suddenly got energised. Damian grumbled something under his breath and made faces, but he got up from his seat, stepping to Bruce's side.

Dick looked around, still clutching the folder.  
"So I can't have a sandwich first?" he asked, his voice tight and shaky as if he was afraid of even suggesting it.

That earned him a look from the rest of them.  
"Grayson, you are pathetic," Damian exclaimed.

Dick made a face.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't exactly have the time to eat today!" Bullshit, he had lunch with Tim, but the others didn't have to know that.

"Master Dick, I'm sure you have at least eaten a healthy lunch and breakfast today as a responsible adult in your line of work, right?" Alfred spoke up, which caused all of them to flinch. They knew that mother hen voice more than anything.

"Yeah, well, I have things to do, bye Alfie," Jason murmured and got onto his bike before anyone could say anything.

"Of course! I mean, I am a responsible adult," Dick said with a confident smile.

Alfred only raised an eyebrow. Dick fought so his smile wouldn't waver at the sight of that.  
"So if I were to visit Blüdhaven, you would most definitely be able to prepare a lunch for us? In case I were to see you at home?" he asked, the Eyebrow of Doom staying in its place.

Dick gave a pleading look at Bruce and Damian, but they were deep in conversation about a strategy that didn't even have anything to do about any of their current situation.  
"Of course, I mean, why wouldn't I be?" he said, but it came out even more of a question than he intended it to be.

"That's good to know, Master Dick," Alfred said and just slowly turned around, making his way up the stairs. If anything, that freaked Dick out even more.

He gave a dirty look at Damian and Bruce.  
"Thanks for having my back," he said. Bruce looked at him with a blank face.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Let's go out," he said and, without saying anything else, he got into the Batmobile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, leave a comment after yourself, because they truly fire up my will to write, and I honestly appreciate every single one of them!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments, I appreciate every single one of them! They make me so happy!

_'I need you to wear the cowl tonight.'_

_'What's going on?'_

_'The press got a hang of Joker's death and they are saying Batman did it. I need to hold a press conference as the head of the Batman Inc. and Batman needs to appear, so we will have the alibi and hold up the front.'_

_Got it._

Dick sighed and leaned his head onto his desk. It was filled with papers he just finished and only needed to give them to the commissioner before he was finally done and only needed to wait for the next shift to change into uniform. He got up from his desk and stretched his arms over his head and cracked his back with a moan. It was rare that he had the nigh shift, but when he did, it annoyed him to no end. It was hard being a vigilante and a cop at the same time. He loved his job, but he had to admit, that he would get more things done as Nightwing during the night than as Officer Grayson.

"Dickie, my boy," the loud voice annoyed him more than he wanted to admit. The day shift was coming, soon he will be able to leave and go home, he repeated in his head to try and keep up his morale.

He forced a smile onto his face and turned around.  
"What's up, Joe? Slept well?" he asked, looking at the man as he showed his papers under his arm.

"Yeah, but that's not what I want," Joe said and hit Dick's shoulder. Now, Dick had been hit in the back by Batman, and yet Joe managed to make him squeek. The man almost went into the NBA, his hands were bigger than Dick's entire head and it came with strength too. He threw his arm around Dick's shoulder. "Now, you heard that Martin's gettin' married next week?"

"Yeah, to that nurse, I think," he nodded.

"Yap. Now, Bridezilla wants a closed wedding with only family, so me and the boys took it upon ourselves to make a stag night for Martin. And everyone who's not on duty will be there," Joe grinned.

"I guess I'm not on duty that day?" Dick chuckled and smirked.

"Excellent deduction, you should be a detective," the man grinned. "I'll text you the address, just don't make any plans for Saturday night. And Sunday morning either."

"Should I bring anything?" he asked, trying to sound as genuine as he could.

"Just some booze," Joe sound and patted his shoulder before stepping away. "And don't tell Martin!"

Dick gave him a thumbs up and waited until Joe disappeared in the corridor. He hit himself in the head with the papers. This was the last thing he needed.

******************

"I don't wanna go," Dick whined, curling tighter around Tim's body. He was now changed into soft sweats, Tim in his arms as they lay on the couch. He put his nose to the juncture of Tim's neck, using the younger as an oversized teddy bear.

"Why not? Some socialising never hurt. At least not you," Tim answered, but it was clear that he didn't really care for the topic. He curled into a ball, pulling the covers over them, before softly grabbing onto Dick's arm.

"I don't think that drinking myself to the ground would help me. I don't really have it in me to care about this too right now," he explained, pressing his face into Tim's shoulder. He was wearing Dick's shirt, but at this point his scent was rubbing off on the clothes he frequented. Dick tightened his embrace, pulling Tim flush against his own body.

"But maybe that's exactly why you need it," Tim said. Dick made a pitiful noise against his back, so the boy sighed and lowered the volume of the television. Then he turned onto his back so he could look at Dick. "You need to let go a little. You're going to run yourself into the ground at this point," he said, studying the man's face intently.

"I've already been slacking off patrolling here in Haven, because of B and all. And even if I were to take the night off I would just want to sleep through it," he answered, pushing up his head with his arm, so it would be comfortable for them.

"And that's exactly why you need some time away from the rest of us. Have someone not me or Jason with you and maybe you'll feel better after that. Not getting bored of us," he said with a small smile.

"Timmy, I'll never get bored of you two!" Dick exclaimed before flopping himself down onto the younger, all but burying him under his bulk.

"Doesn't mean much, you still need to go out," Tim patted Dick s back. "Now get off, you're suffocating me."

"But you're so comfy," he grinned, letting most of his weigh rest on the younger. Tim groaned and hit Dick's back but he didn't put any power into it.

"Do you need some help, Jason? Thanks for cooking, Jason. We appreciate you, Jason" the man said, walking in front of the door. His voice was bitchy, and he made sure to give them the finger.

"Thank you, Jace," Dick shouted after, flopping back onto his side so he was off Tim again. Tim turned onto his side again, so Dick wouldn't be able to lay onto him, but he pressed back against the man's body, trying to steal as much body heat as he could.

"Well, maybe if you weren't so fucking enamoured with each other, then maybe you would hear the knocks on the fucking door and I could continue to cook without burning that shit down!" he shouted, throwing a rug at them that he used to clean his hands with. Tim made a face when it landed on his leg but Dick quickly brushed it onto the floor. He then just lay back again. It was probably only the annoying neighbour girl, who somehow didn't get scared of Jason when the guy frowned at her. The situation was getting creepy, but there wasn't anything to do about it.

"Master Jason, please, mind your language like the sophisticated adult you are."

Dick felt how Tim's entire body froze in his arms and he pressed his lips together. He told Jason this will be too early. They will just stress Tim out even more and then there will be even more problems than before... It has only been two weeks since they talked about that, and they haven't had a normal conversation about that yet...

Alfred stepped forward enough for them to see him through the door and Dick let Tim sit up. He was happy he couldn't see the younger's face, he was so afraid of his reaction. He kept his arm around his waist, hoping that it would give him a grounding point.

Alfred stood in the doorway, taking a long moment to take in the boys on the couch. He could tell just from Dick's face how worried he was about Tim. And he could hundred percent understand that. Tim looked like hell warmed over. Alfred had seen the boy sick, injured and almost on his death bed multiple times, he nursed him through every second of it. But he never had been in such a bad shape.

Timothy had always been the smallest of them all, so thin despite all of the muscle he put on throughout the years. All of that was gone. He was wearing one of Dick's shirt, Alfred could tell, but he couldn't fool himself by saying it was only so big because Dick was a few inches taller than him. His cheeks were still a bit sunken, his hands bone-y as they came out of the sleeves.

Alfred's hearth ached.  
"My dear boy, you have been to Hell and back, haven't you?" he asked gently and spread his arms out. He saw how Tim bit his lips before shooting off the couch and running into his arms. Tim's hold around him was tight, as if he was afraid Alfred might disappear if he let go even for just a second.

"I'm so sorry," Tim whispered into his shoulder, trying to hide in Alfred's embrace like a child would hide from the monster in the closet.

"You have no need to apologise. Let's sit down, pet," he patted the boy's shoulder until he let go and slowly nodded his head. Alfred gave him a kind smile as he gently steered him back to the couch where Dick was already sitting up and putting the blanket they used onto the armrest. The moment Tim sat down, Dick thew an arm around his waist once again.

"I believe you all know, what my first question shall be?" he said, bringing a soft smile onto Dick's face.

Jason snorted in the doorway.  
"When have we last eaten?" he raised an eyebrow playfully, before leaning back a little so he could have a look at the stove, so nothing would burn down.

"Exactly, Master Jason. Master Richard still haven't answered whether he has eaten healthy food, but seeing that you're cooking, young master, I have more faith," he said. Only the twinkle in his eyes gave away that he was only kidding. He didn't even smile when Dick gasped.

"I do eat healthy food! I'm a functioning adult!" he said, pulling Tim closer to himself so he could cling to him.

"Yeah, and because I can be assed to make enough for you too," Jason answered, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Alfred smiled softly before turning to the boy beside him.  
"And what about you, Master Tim?" he asked gently. Tim gave him a panicked look, before turning away. He looked at his hands in his lap, rubbing at his fingers. He opened his mouth a few times, as if he wanted to finally start talking, but in the end, he didn't say a single thing. Dick reached for his hand, also avoiding the butler's eyes in favour of watching the younger.

It was Jason who replied eventually.  
"He gets solid foods three times a day and has a smoothie in between," he said.

Alfred inhaled slowly before exhaling through his nose.  
"Young Masters, you have nothing you have to hide from me. I just want to help, but I can't if you keep things from me. Why is solid food important?" he asked, laying a calming hand on Tim's shoulder.

The young boy and Dick looked at each other for a split second before Tim turned to Jason. Jason only raised an eyebrow, waiting.

Tim turned his body a bit towards Alfred, but still didn't look up.  
"Have you heard about the Joker's death?"

"Yes, indeed I have."

Tim took a deep breath and tightened his hold on Dick's hand as he finally met Alfred's eyes.  
"I was the one, who did it. He... kept me captive for weeks before he wanted to turn me into him again, and... I killed him," he said. His body was trembling, the only solid point being his hold on Dick, which was deathly tight. He was scared, he was hurt, but he found it in himself to admit it.

Alfred's gaze softened. All of the boys have grown up to be such fine young men, but for him they will always be the children he met many-many years ago. Dick, having been the sunshine despite the dark clouds that kept on chasing him through life, was now holding onto his family, trying to keep them from falling into the dark. Jason, who has always been alone and did his best not be held down by emotional ties was now cooking for the others, minding their diets so they had the chance of getting better. And then there was Tim, who always felt like he had to prove himself to everyone, to fight his fights alone and never show weakness, was now accepting the helping hand and admitting that for once in his life, he chose himself over the mission.

He kept his hand on Tim's shoulder.  
"You have been through a lot, my boy," he said softly. He saw the hurt and horror flash through those dark blue eyes as they watered for a second before Tim closed them. He nodded his head.

"And that's why we need help, Alf," Dick said, speaking up from behind Tim where he pressed the younger against his body. "We did our best to take care of his injuries, but we only have so much to work with and I didn't dare to give him meds or infusions and at this point I don't know what to do," he admitted.

"And the antibiotics? Master Tim needs them to compensate for his lack of spleen," he asked.

"We had a hard time working him up to solid foods. It's only been like a week since he started eating those, so we didn't give him anything," Jason sighed before stepping away from the doorframe to go back to the kitchen.

"And what about an infusion?" Alfred questioned, now turning to Dick.

The man shook his head.  
"I didn't dare to put it in. I gave him a shot when he first arrived, but I was worried that even that could give him an infection or anything. He was in such a bad state, my hands were kinda tied," he admitted. He had been so afraid of inserting anything into Tim. His body was already full off scars, he didn't need any more openings into his system, no matter how clean Dick would've kept it.

"May I see?" Alfred took off his hand from Tim's shoulder so the boy could put some distance between them if he was uncomfortable with thee request.

Tim shrugged.  
"Most of them are completely healed over at some point, so it's not dangerous anymore, but it's really ugly," he warned before standing up from the couch. He reached behind him and grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head. They have already ditched using the bandages at that point, deciding that it was healed enough not to open up at the smallest movements or if Tim laid down. But the scar tissue was still angry reddish-brown, and it didn't leave anything to the imagination of how it must have looked like.

"There were a lot more smaller ones, but this was the worst," Dick added in a soft voice, pulling Tim's pants a bit down to show how long it actually was.

"Oh, dear," Alfred muttered to himself as he gently pulled his fingers along the scar's side. The stitches were still in, but it seemed that they could be removed soon enough. "Why are the stitches still in?" he asked.

"The scar was really badly infected, so we all but had to make it worse to make sure it was clean. And it was much wider than this, so I could only close it this much. I didn't dare to take them out just yet in case it still needed the support not to open up, and to make sure it won't get infected again," he answered. He didn't have formal medical training, and normally, he only had to deal with smaller wounds. That paired with the worry for Tim's weak immune system sent him into paranoia about everything.

Alfred hummed softly and got up from the couch so he could take a look at Tim's other wound around his upper body.  
"I believe it should soon be okay to remove the stitches. And it should also be alright to use an infusion. Of course you must keep everything pristine clean and sterile, but there shouldn't be any problem if you do that," he said and grabbed Tim's shirt to help him into it.

" And what about normal antibiotics? " Tim asked softly.

" Give it another week or two of normal foods, and then you should be okay. Just make sure you take the probiotics too, so they don't ruin your stomach before it could get fully better," he smiled before letting the boy sit down again.

The boy's gave him a soft smile.  
"Thank you, Alfred," Tim said.

"You're very welcome," he said and took his place beside them on the couch. "Now, my boys, tell me what you have been doing in the last month?"

*****************

"But I really don't wanna go!" Dick whined. He leaned against the gargoyle, watching the scene in front of him. Bruce was giving a statement on a small stage in front of the WE building, with Damian by his side. They were engulfed in light from the lamps all around the stage while hundreds of reporters and wondering civilians gathered around the stage.

Dick heard Barbara sigh through the comms.  
"Are whining to me because you want sympathy or are you whining because the other people you bitched to didn't care enough?" she asked. She was running the comms that night, making it easy for Dick to reach her without having to worry that she was in the middle of a fight.

"Both," he answered. He pressed his cheek against the cold marble, but the heavy cowl got in the way.

"Dick, do I have to remind you that you're almost thirty and can make your own decisions?" she asked.

"Oh come on, the Mom said I can't go is an excellent excuse, no matter how old you are," Stephanie giggled. Dick knew she was watching the press conference from the other side of the square.

"Technically, both of you are grown adults," Barbara said. Dick heard that Bruce was now going on about the principals he made Batman swore to follow when they started working together.  
So Dick climbed onto the head of the gargoyle and waited for people to notice him.  
"Your point is?" he asked Barbara, and held back his smile when he heard someone gasp underneath. The usual surprised shouts of the name Batman started, but he didn't wait around, immediately stepped off the gargoyle and shot out the grapple to disappear.

"Right, I still ask Agent A to give me an excuse when I don't wanna go somewhere," Stephanie answered.

"People, if you don't fucking shut up, I'm gonna skin you all," Jason's voice came suddenly from the comms. Then he swore under his breath, and Dick honestly didn't want to think about what that crunching sound was on the other end of the comms.

"Sorry, Hood, I forgot to separate our line," Barbara muttered.

"If you have time to chit-chat you could fucking get back to your own territories instead of leaving me to do your fucking work for you," he growled under his breath.

"The conference is almost done, we'll be there soon," Dick tried to hit a soft, calming tone.

"You better." And he turned off his comm before they could say anything else.

Now Bruce was answering questions, so soon it will be wrapping up. The reporters tried to shout over each other and did they very best to trample each other just so they could get just an inch closer to the stage. They were like piranhas trying to get closer to the prey before the other ones could.

"Damn, if the brat keeps rolling his eyes so hard one day they will roll into his head and never come out," Stephanie commented.

Dick saw how Damian made a movement as if he just ran his hand through his hair. His lips didn't even move.  
"Shut up, Brown, and try to act like a competent person for once," he whispered, just loud enough for the comm to pick it up, but softly enough so it got swallowed up by the noise of the reporters.

"Come on, Lil D," Dick teased in an affectionate tone. "No talking on stage. Or they may notice you and try to talk to you," he reminded him. He chuckled when he heard Damian click his tongue before reaching up to fidget with the collar of his dress shirt, shutting off his mic in the process.

Bruce announced the next would be the last question.  
"Freaking finally. They will flip their shit," Stephanie sighed as the reporters now all but tried to break through the barriers in front of them as they tried to get Bruce to notice them.

"I feel bad for the security guards," Dick frowned as he watched them trying to hold the barriers steady while getting hit by the flailing hands and getting shouted at by the angry journalists.

"I know," Barbara answered. "But B pays them well enough to compensate for it."

Dick's shoulders sagged with relief when he saw Bruce saying his thanks and goodbyes as he and Damian now made their way off the stage. The journalists continued shouting questions after them, but they ignored them as they quickly made their way into the WE building. As soon as they disappeared behind the heavy doors, the crowd began to disperse.

Dick let out a sigh and started to move away from the venue when he heard the gruff voice come through the comm.  
"Guys, a bit more professionalism, please."

Dick flinched, and like a children's choir they answered at the same time.  
"Sorry, B."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So WARNING: the beginning of the story is really fucking angsty, because we finally get a bit of an insight to Tim's dreams. So if you're not ready to handle blood and probablamtic stuff then just skip the cursive part. However, this will come back later on, so I wouldn't advise that you skip it.
> 
> Also, you guys are way too good for me. We're almost over 5000!!!!!! Hits, ober 60 bookmarks on this story, over 12 000 Hits on DTMB and over 90 bookmarks, it's crazy. Thank you so much!!!! And thank you all for the comments, they really fuel me and I just adore them all. Thank you so much!

_Tim closed the bathroom door and leaned against the sink. He needed to calm down, he needed to collect himself. He shouldn't be so easily rattled, he was doing so well lately, he had to keep his cool. He was okay. He was going to be okay._

_There was a high-pitched giggle from his right, and Tim jumped away from the sink as if it burned him. On the side of the bathtub sat a little boy. His hair was so dark green it was almost black, his face painted white, so the bright red lipstick framing his manic smile shone like blood on the freshly fallen snow. His green shirt was tucked neatly into his knee-length trousers, his purple suit perfectly ironed. Even his bow tie was in place. The boy giggled when he saw Tim's shock._

_"You're not here. You don't exist," Tim said. It was more to calm himself than to try and reason with the boy._

_"Why wouldn't I? You're here too, aren't you?" the boy asked and lifted the gun in his hand and shot. Tim's chest hurt from how hard his heart was beating. For a moment he was sure the boy actually shot him, even though he could see that only the Boom! flag left the barrel._

_"I'm a real person. You're not. You're just my PTSD induced flashback. You're not here," Tim said and turned back to the mirror to make himself realise it was still him._

_His hair was getting a bit out of hand, almost down to his shoulders at this point. He was still way too thin, but his cheeks had some colours instead of the unhealthy paleness they held for weeks. He was in Dick's BPD sweater he wore to bed. But he felt the the pole of the flag from the gun poke against his back, tracing the line of his scar and he closed his eyes in fear._

_"But I'm you, aren't I?" the boy giggled again and Tim hands flew to his ears to try and block the sound of the child's maniacal laughter._

_"You're not! You're not! YOU'RE NOT!" by the end he was shouting, but he couldn't care._

_A slim hand grabbed his, the bony fingers wrapping around his thin wrist like deathly snakes. Tim's eyes snapped open when he heard the low chuckle next to his ear. The man behind him had the same black hair, his face a mess of lipstick and white paint. His orange shirt and purple suit covered in blood. He knew what that meant. The Joker was dead, and he was his successor._

_Tim felt sick. He wanted to throw up._

_The Joker version of himself plastered himself to Tim's side, breathing softly as he leaned to Tim's ear, maintaining the eye contact the entire time through the mirror.  
"But we are you," he said, leaning his head against Tim's. _

_That's when Tim felt the handle in his hand. The Joker's hand curled around his, lifting up the knife. The knife from the kitchen he attacked Jason with. Tim tried to fight against the other's hold, but Joker him was stronger. So much stronger. He raised the blade effortlessly to Tim's throat as if there had been no resistance._

_Tim tried to scream, but no sound came out._

_The Joker's red lip curled into a gentle smile.  
"And you can't hide from us." He pressed down the blade without hesitation. _

*****************

Jason shot out of bed immediately when he heard the screams. His knife was already in his hand, and it took him a good minute to realise he wasn't the one in danger. Those weren't his screams. He wasn't back in the warehouse, he wasn't hurt. It was another long moment until he actually managed to truly take in his surroundings. He was standing in the middle of Dick's living room, the window securely locked on his left. According to the clock, they had eight minutes until two AM. And the screaming was coming from the bedroom. He dropped the knife before he ran to it.

The door was open, so he got to the bed with two big steps. He froze. Tim was writhing on the bed, clutching his throat, as he continued screaming. Tears streamed down his face, as he chocked between every scream he let out, trying to make himself as small as possible. He was clearly having a nightmare and Jason just didn't know what to do. He wasn't a calming precense like Dick, he couldn't just cuddle the guy and get him to sleep back in. He couldn't even handle his own nightmares, let alone someone else's.

Fuck Dick, and his desicion to actually go to that fucking stag night.

Jason took a deep breath, and tried to think about it. He had to wake Tim up, that much was clear. What he did after that can come later.  
"Tim," he called out softly, reaching for the boy's shoulder. And the second his fingertips connected with the boy's body, Tim's hand shout out to grab him.

Adrenalin was still coursing through Jason's veins from being awoken by the screams, so he reacted before Tim's hand reached his throat. He grabbed a hand in his, holding them steadily.  
"Tim!" he called him again, this time a bit louder.

The boy's eyes opened, as he held back another scream. His mind was clouded, and even though he was looking straight at Jason, the elder knew he couldn't see him. Whatever his mind played him had him terrified. Jason knew, because he was familiar with that look. It only came when you knew that you will die and you can't do anything, no matter how hard you fight.

Tim's breath was still sharp, but slowly his eyes cleared up and focused on Jason. Jason still didn't let go of his hands. He swallowed hard as he held the boy's gaze.  
"Timmers?" he asked. For once, he didn't even try to mask the shake in his voice. Fuck that, he was horrified. The last thing he needed was the boy coming at his throat again.

For a long moment, Tim didn't answer. Then finally a sob broke free from his chest as he let his head fall forward, crying into his hands. Jason looked around the room, panicked. Fuck Dick, why did he go to that party?

He adjusted his hold on Tim's hands, holding both of them in one hand while he pulled the younger against his chest. Tim was limp in his arms like a ragdoll, letting himself be maneuvered without any fight. Since he had no better ideas, he slowly started rocking them back and forth.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice hoarse and tight.

Tim sobbed a few more times before answering.  
"He cut my throat," he said, trying to curl even smaller into himself.

Jason's heart skipped a beat. Was Tim having nightmares about him?  
"What?"

"I cut my throat," he sobbed out, his fingers shakily holding onto Jason's shirt.

"You cut your throat or he did?" Jason frowned. It just wasn't adding up for him.

"I don't know," Tim whispered with a slight shake of his head. Did it count as himself? Or would he cease being Tim Drake if he turned into the Joker?

"Timbo, I don't understand," Jason admitted, still holding him tight. The boy was still trembling in his arms, but slowly the shakes were getting a bit weaker.

"It was... As if... The Joker turned me into him," Tim said, fighting really hard to get his breathing normal against, even though he continued to choke on every inhale.

Jason pressed his lips together, and flexed his hold around the younger. He was so happy the bastard was dead, but even so, the damage he caused to all of them can never be repaired. Even if he only thought about his own and Tim's experiences, not of the thousands of gothamites who got affected.  
"Did he say anything?" he asked, deliberately separating that character from Tim. He knew from experience that the worst part was always the things the Joker said. How he made sure they knew nobody cared and they will never be saved.

"That they were me... Then they used the knife..." Tim's breathing sped up again, so Jason took a deep one the younger was forced to mirror.

"What knife?"

Tim sobbed.  
"The knife..." With the emphasis on the 'the', Jason instantly understood what they were talking about. He sighed. So many people did the boy wrong, him included, but of course Tim would be haunted by the time he ALMOST hurt him.

Jason pulled back enough to look down at Tim. He grabbed Tim's chin to gently force him to meet his eyes.  
"Timber, can you come out with me?" he asked softly. It was such an innocent question, and yet Tim's eyes widened as if he had been dosed by Feartoxin and he was now seeing his worst nightmare.

"Please, don't make me go out there," he pleaded, his voice pathetically high and shaky. He was broken, in every sense of the word. Jason fought himself out of the boys arm and squatted down in front of the bed.

He grabbed the blankets from where they were pooled around the boy's hips and wrapped them around his shoulders tightly.  
"Tim, do you trust me enough to believe, I will most likely break anyone's neck before they could hurt us?" he asked, holding Tim's gaze the entire time to make sure the boy knew how serious he was. After a moment of silence, Tim nodded. "Then trust me when I say there is no one in this apartment besides us." Jason stood from his place and held out a hand.

One of Tim's held the blanket tight around himself, but his other one shakily reached out and held onto Jason's. The elder helped him off his bed. He let the younger go when he was steady on his feet, but never went farther than an arms length away. They stopped for a moment as Jason took his thick leather gloves out of his jacket's pocket before leading Tim into the kitchen.

Tim stopped by the door, refusing to go in, but that was enough for Jason. He started going through the drawers until he finally found what he was looking for. He saw how the shiver ran down Tim's spine when he saw the knife, pressing himself a bit closer to the wall. So Jason didn't wait anymore, he grabbed the knife between his gloved hands and started pressing it. Having just woken up, he wasn't at full strength, but just after a few seconds, the blade still cracked between his hands and broke in half.  
"There we go," he groaned, before throwing the knife into the trash with a ceremonial movement. He pulled off his gloves and put them onto the table before turning to Tim. "And tomorrow we take out the trash."

As an answer, Tim gave a watery smile, but a smile nevertheless. His eyes were swollen from crying, but as the moonlight shone through the window, he still had that ethereal beauty he always seemed to have about him. Fragile and precious like the finest porcelain doll.  
Jason was just about to move in and give him another hug, but the shriek of the phone cut through the apartment. That caused both of them to flinch before Jason ran inside.

His phone was on the coffee table. He frowned when he saw Dick's name on the screen. He gave a look at Tim, who followed him to the doorway. Jason rolled his eyes, but accepted the call.  
"What?" he groaned, rubbing his eyes.

"This is Jason?" It was an unfamiliar voice. That made Jason alert again. One of the most basic rules about their lifestyle was to never loose your communication devices.

"Who are you?" he asked, not giving any answers about his own identity. He caught Tim's gaze who seemed just as tense at the question as Jason felt.

"I'm Jack, I'm a bartender at Crossroads. The patron gave me the phone to call you, as he is unable to get home on his own. Would you be able to collect him?"

There was no possible way for Jason to facepalm harder than he did, yet he felt the need to find one.  
"How bad is it?"

"He is coherent, but I wouldn't feel comfortable letting him go alone. He's not exactly in a state to say no to anything if something were to happen," the man said.

Jason wanted a cigarette so bad.  
"I'll get him soon."

"Thank you." And the man hung up. Jason wanted to trash his phone, but he suppressed the urge. He turned to Tim who was watching him carefully.

"Dick got shitfaced, I have to go get him," he sighed. "You good staying here or you wanna come with me?" he asked.

Tim turned towards the window and looked out. He bit his lower lip, his brows furrowed in concentration. He didn't want to go out, it was still too scary. But staying alone...  
He weakened his hold on the blankets.  
"Give me a second to change into something warmer."

He went back into the bedroom to search through Dick's closet while Jason turned to the bag he threw into the corner a week ago. Seeing that at this point he was stuck with the other two, he needed to get some clothes for himself. He was still the tallest and bulkiest, and as much as it was was good for his ego, he couldn't just steal clothes like Tim did.

After changing, they stole one of Dick's coats and stuffed a shoe with socks so they would fit on Tim, before they left the apartment. Tim pulled his hood over his head and deeply into his face so no security camera footage would be able to recognise him as Jason opened the car and they got in.

The drive was silent. Tim did his best to try how much leaving the apartment unnerved him, but he also had to admit that he hasn't left the place for over a month so it was probably time he did it. At least it was dark, so it would be harder for a camera to rbe able to focus on his face. And unlike Dick, Jason didn't try to strike up a small talk, he just kept his eyes on the road.

The bar was not so far away from the precinct, so they quickly found it. Tim could only hope that Blüdhaven was the same of Gotham in the sense of parking, because Jason just stopped Dick's car in the middle of the road and got out. Tim followed him after a moment of hesitation. Jason held the door for him, but entered first.

The room was warm, the music still playing loudly from the speakers around the room. Most of the men were huddled around a table, but Dick was sitting at the bar, talking to the bartender who obviously wasn't listening to him. But Dick was way too wasted to care, or even notice that.  
Jason grabbed his shoulder to pull his attention to themselves. As he took them in, a wide smile spread out on Dick's face.

"Jaybird! Timmy, you came! I'm so happy," he grinned and moved in for a hug, but Tim had to catch him so he wouldn't fall.

Jason shook his head in disappointment. He looked at the bartender.  
"Please tell me he already paid," he said. The man gave him a smile.

"The tab will covered by the others. Just take him," he said and Jason nodded at him.

"I'm really happy you're here, baby, but I can go home alone," Dick said. Jason rolled his eyes when at the same time Dick almost tripped over the doorstep. He glared at it. "I didn't see that coming."

"Can I just dump him in the back or do I have to stay with him?" Tim asked Jason, distaste written all over his face.

"No, Timmy, don't leave me!" Dick whined, tightening his hold on the younger. Tim gave Jason a panicked look, but the elder just gave him a humourless smile.

"You heard the man," he said and opened the door for them to climb in. Tim helped Dick into the back and glared at Jason for a moment before following him inside.

Once he was inside, Dick immediately tried to drape himself over Tim, but Tim caught his shoulder.  
"Wait a second, will you?" he said and closed the door behind himself before turning back to the first Robin. He was ready for the man to fit himself in his arms again when he finally let go off Tim's shoulder.

Dick rubbed his nose against Tim's neck, snuggling up against his side.  
"You were right, Timmy, the night was pretty nice. But I was sooooooo worried at the beginning about you and everything, I wanted to go home. But the guys were real nice, and it got better," he said in the same tone a five-year-old would tell their father about their day. He didn't even notice that they were on the road again, the car rolling smoothly under them.

"That's great, Dick," Tim murmured, trying to turn his face away. Dick reaked of the alcohol he consumed and as nice as it was to be held by the man, Tim wanted to squirm away. He caught Jason's eyes through the rear view mirror, and scoffed. The man seemed all too entertained by his sufferings.

"Timmy~"

"Yes, Dick?" he asked, not looking at the man.

"Hey, Timmy," Dick whined, so Tim had to look at him.

"Yes?" but as he turned his head, soft lips pressed against his own in a light peck. It was just a press of the lips, probably not even enough to be considered a kiss, but it was enough to stun Tim speechless.

Dick pulled back and gave him a content little smile.  
"You're really pretty," he said and yelped when Jason stopped the car so fast Dick actually rolled off the seats.

"Nuh, we ain't doin' this," Jason said, turning around in his seat. "Replacement, come shotgun. Dickhead, you keep your drunk ass hands to yourself," he warned and waited for Tim to climb forward between the seats and Dick got back up. He crossed his arms and pouted, but didn't fight against his words.

Tim was working himself up to the fight for when they will need to get Dick into bed. But to his surprise - and relief - the moment Jason pushed him onto the bed and Dick's head connected with the pillow Dick was out cold. Tim gently worked his jeans off him, so he was only left in his underwear and shirt while Jason brought in a bucket. Tim gave the bucket a disgusted look. Jason only shrugged.  
"Better safe than sorry," he said.

They closed the door softly, so Dick wouldn't wake up. Jason patted Tim's back.  
"Go, sleep on the couch," he said and started steering the boy towards the living room, but Tim shook his head.

"No, I'm good. You go sleep," he said and tried to step out of Jason's way, only for the man to push him back towards it.

"Don't fuck with me, Timbers, you're gonna sleep," Jason ordered.

"I've been nothing but sleeping these past few weeks. You need it more," he said softly, his hands coming together in front of his body.

"Oh, fuck me," Jason sighed when he saw the gesture. He was way too fucking tired to argue about this. So he grabbed Tim around the waist and laid down on the couch.

"Jay..."

"Shut up and pretend to sleep. And I get the inside because you won't fucking kick me off," he warned against the boy's nape, pulling the cover from the back of the couch onto themselves. He could feel how tight Tim's body was in his embrace but he did his best to ignore it, until Tim eventually relaxed.

Neither of them slept that night, but they could always pretend.

*******************

Damian clicked his tongue as he once again turned the 3D model of the power plant on the screen. Him and Bruce had been through it thousands of times, but he just couldn't leave it at that. They examined every inch of the underground chamber the pool of Joker toxin was found in, and they went through every door that opened there. At that point, he knew the underground levels to the Gotham Power plant better than the foolish school's Bruce made him attend on weekdays.

And yet, he knew they were missing something.

The power plant was a perfect hiding place for the Joker. It was dark, it was quiet, and nobody other than the workers visited it. That, combined with the fact of the chemical presence that could cover up the readings of the Joker toxin, made it an absolute safe heaven for a lunatic like him. He wouldn't even have to leave to get the ingredients...

Damian stopped in his thoughts. The Joker wouldn't need to leave the premises of the power plant to get the ingredients, but there were no sign of those when they searched the neighbouring rooms and the chamber.

They didn't spend much thought in that, because as far as they knew, the Joker could just pull the toxin out of thin air. They had caught him in every type of places, from the rattiest garages to the most advanced medicinal factories, so at this point, they never had a way of worrying about what the Joker toxin was made of and where those ingredients came from.

But a power plant like had every ingredient at the Joker's disposal, but even then he would have to hide them if he didn't want to be discovered. And that meant he knew a place right on site that was just as safe as the chamber itself. That place could hold all the answers they needed.

Damian started going through the model again.

There was another room, and they missed it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning is just an insight of what the morning after was like for Dick. There's a week between the first and the second part of the chapter.
> 
> I recently bought a Mystery Batman ball they have been selling at a supermarket near me. I got Dami inside, and his uniform was completely black on the little statue that was in it. It looks SO GOOD. I absolutely love it, it's so cool. So yeah, I wanted his uniform to look like that in this. I can't find a picture of it, so just saying that that's what it was modelled after.

Dick groaned as he turned onto his stomach. He wanted to die. His stomach felt tight and he immediately regretted laying on it, but he didn't have enough willpower to actually do anything about it. His mouth was dry like he ate dirt, his stomach performing flips in his body. He wanted to cry into his pillow, he wanted to bitch about it, but his head was already splitting open, he didn't need to make it worse for himself.

He should've gone with his first instincts and just ditched the party altogether. No matter how weird everyone was when he came back from his Ric state - they don't talk about that- no social gathering was worth this pain. He could count on his hands how many times he had been this hungover and ninety percent of that was with and because of the Titans so he refused to take responsibility for that. But this? He only had himself to blame and that didn't sit well with him or his stomach. He rolled onto his back so he wouldn't actually throw up.

He was getting way too old for this. Soon, he will be thirty and within a blink he will be the same age as Bruce and the others would start to nag him about hanging his costume up for good, just like he had been hinting at the original Batman a few times already... Dick stroked his chest. He couldn't decide if that tightness came from his incoming existential crisis that filled him with dread or just the bile rising in his throat that wanted out.

Seriously, he just wanted the best for Bruce, there was no need to punish him like this, reminding him of his own age. Bruce was already in his forties, he was a bit slower than before, and the last thing they needed was him getting hurt and never fully recovering from it. Same with Alfred. And yet both of them were so stubborn, and will probably work until they all but collapse dead. With Bruce's lifestyle, that was also more likely to happen sooner or later.

He whined and reached for the pillow to press it onto his face. Death would be kinder than this suffering. Even the soft noise of the door clicking open sounded like a thunder to him.

"GOOD MORNING, DICKWAD!"

Dick pressed the pillow down harder onto his head that was now unbearably throbbing from Jason shouting so close to him. He was sure he heard Tim chuckle outside, but it may as well been the blood rushing in his ears.  
"I hate you," he whined, trying to hold onto the pillow when it was grabbed for him. But he was hungover and Jason was bigger than him, so the pillow slipped out of his fingers like sand.

"Ain't my fault you can't hold your alcohol," Jason grinned and all but slammed down the water he brought in onto the table. "I didn't remember you this much of a dumbass drunk, either..." he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest with a shit eating grin.

If Dick hadn't been so green from the nausea, all colours would've drained from his face.  
"Oh, god, what happened?"

Jason only shrugged, leaning against the wall.  
"How much do you remember?" he asked, because why would he put Dick out of his misery immediately.

"I went to the bar, we drank, then the dancers came in, and I settled at the bar..." Dick tried to force himself to remember, but it only hurt his head. He sighed. "That's all I got."

"Well, if you wanna smooch Timmy down again, at least remember it. How is he supposed to feel? What is he, your side-dick?" Jason gasped dramatically, and cherished the horrified look on Dick's face before he just left, leaving Dick to overreact by himself.

And of course that was enough for Dick to get up. He stopped for a long moment until he finally felt stable enough on his feet to believe he won't throw up after a few steps and marched into the living room. Tim was sitting on the couch, bundled up in a blanket, sipping on his usual morning shake Jason still forced on him.

He met Dick's eyes and raised an eyebrow.  
"Are you going to kiss me again?" he asked, hiding his smile behind the shaker. After both him and Jason gave up pretending to be asleep, they just kept talking shit about everyone to make themselves laugh. And drunk Dick was perfect for that, so Tim knew, Jason would rile the first Robin up.

Dick just looked at him with sad puppy eyes and said:  
"I kinda feel like throwing up, so no," he admitted and Tim couldn't help but scrunch up his nose in disgust. Dick opened his arms. "But I can hug you as an apology?" he asked.

"Only after you shower."

Dick lifted his shirt to his nose and almost gagged. That definitely did not help his nausea.  
"Fair point."

******************

It took Damian a week before he finally had a day when he could just disappear for a few hours. The others were already patrolling alone when they were his age, but because he was the youngest, Bruce rarely let him go alone, despite Damian being the most capable member of the bats. He could've just said that he was going to work on a case with Superboy, but then the word would reach Clark way too fast and he would be busted before he could get anything done.  
That left him without any other choice but to wait.

But that was well, Damian knew how to utilise his time. He acquired the vent-system map if the power plant so he had a different approach to the building than he would with the blue print. He memorised both, just in case. Then he actually went through some of the older uniforms and prototypes. He will be moving through vents, it would be more effective if he ditched the cape outside, and even then the dark red colour might be too bright inside. So he dug out a completely black version of it.

He developed that version almost half a year ago, using Drake's technology and updating them to his standards. This one was supposed to work best, allowing him to stay on the dark the way the Batman cowl does. But then after a quick conversation with Alfred, they put that aside, because Robin means something to the people and the red, yellow and black colours represented that. But this seemed like the perfect time to bring it out as the darkness of the material will let him melt into the shadows in the buildings. So he suited up.

He grabbed his motorbike, and after the usual warnings from Alfred, he left. He didn't shut off the comms, that would alert everyone else, especially Barbara and Alfred. But as long as he didn't do anything suspicious, the others would have no reason to check his GPS signals. And even if it came down to the worst, he could always tell them the actual truth. The only reason he wanted to do this alone was that he didn't want to work Bruce up. He could always be wrong, despite his calculations almost never failing him.

He parked the bike in the forest and locked his cape under the seat. He could never be sure how long he will actually be inside. He put a rebreather in his mouth to be sure than closed the distance between the bike and the power-plant on foot. Ever since the fire, they had extra security throughout the night, but in Damian's eyes it was laughable. Even if hadn't had the training he did, or was just half as smart as he was, it would've been easy to get through the security and wreck havoc in there. But this was Gotham, and they all knew that if someone wanted to get in, they will get in, no matter how strong of a security they put up.

Damian waited until the time for the guard switch was finalised. The pervious two went into the building and the new ones stood at attention. Then he moved. Before either could utter a word or attempt to shout, he grabbed both of them from behind, pressing the chloroform-soaked cloths in front of their noses and mouths. He held them, so they wouldn't make a noise when falling before pulling the cloths away. After binding their arms and gagging them with clean straps of a material, he emptied their machine guns and climbed the wall with the grapple.

Not having the backup of Batman to open any door was a setback, but it was something he could easily put behind him. One of the great things about Gotham was that nobody gave a single fuck about health and safety regulations. Being dosed with fear toxin, different pollens and all the nightmarish stuff that was in Gotham's air was enough to convince the people that some extra chemicals from the power-plant will absolutely do no damage for them. Because let's face it, their chances of actually living long enough to get the side effects was really low. And even if an outsider came to investigate the place... Well, it was Gotham. Beating someone into a vegetative state was a daily thing.

Damian hated that hellhole and he would a thousand percent die for it.

It only took him a minute to pull off the airvent's cover and get in. The air vent was dusty from he inside, but Damian wasn't fazed by that. He had gone into worst places and whatever chemical residue may have been inside, he probably had been dozed by more harmful things in his life. The Lazarus pit must have made him immune at that point.

He pulled out a pair of specifically developed climbing gloves from his belt, and pressed the sticky pads against the metal. He decided to start from the top and work his way down in the building. Most of the upper levels were occupied, none of the rooms empty, so he only wanted to check in on those, to make sure the blueprints were right about that.

The lower levels, however, were a completely different story. Seeing that nobody gave a damn about safety-hazards and the fact that there was always a chance of a villain attacking a power-plant, they only closed down the rooms that were deemed hazardous and prayed that it won't blow up in their faces.

Damian frowned at the thought. The people probably had a death wish, but if they were this stupid, he wasn't going to stop them. If they didn't care enough to notice the Joker hiding out in their building for probably weeks, then he couldn't help them. Especially, since he most likely had a hostage with him, and they weren't exactly quiet.

Damian didn't even know what to think about the fact that Drake had not only gotten himself captured, but was most likely held there for weeks. It seemed absolutely impossible for him. He knew that Drake was the weakest link between Bats, but he hasn't expected this. The guy was way too smart to get caught and then not escape within a day. And now he was gone, most likely dead, despite what Brown tried to convince them of.

Sure, they had no actual evidence that Drake's and the Joker's cases were connected. It was also true that Drake had an uncanny ability and habit to sometimes just disappear, but this was weird even for him. Usually, his disappearances would be started by an argument by someone from the Bats. Also, at least the Clone boy would know about what was with him. So the fact, that no one from Young Justice knew anything about him was very alarming. Then it was just Bruce's stubbornness to not let any meta that is not Thomas into Gotham to search for Drake.

Damian would rather die than to admit that he was kind of worried at this point. Him and Drake will never be the closest out of all of them, but they were way past the point where he wished him dead. And if they could find any evidence or leads to Drake while also closing the case of the Joker's death, he was as happy as he could be.

He steadied himself in the went by pressing his back against one side and his legs on the other so he could use his hands. He built a smaller computer into his gloves, much like Drake had, and using a small amount of the Joker's formula, he put samples into the recognition system. It would make it much easier for him to search through the entire building as fast as possible. Even if the Joker didn't make the formula in that specific room, a minimal trace would still linger on his clothes or the tanks he used to contain the ingredients. If Damian could find that trace, he could easily follow it to where it was the strongest.

He frowned at the sleeping guard in the monitor room, but he didn't pay him any more attention. If something were to happen, one fool wouldn't be able to stop it, but he will most likely die in there. Damian held back the urge to click his tongue. The people of Gotham truly wanted to die.

He eventually made his way down to the room where the Joker toxin was found and the fire originally started. Damian looked down to see if anyone was in. He kicked off the cover of the vent and dropped down into the room. The pool that was used to contain the Joker toxin was now absent, leaving the room mostly empty. Damian looked around to see if there were any cameras. He gave a satisfied smirk when he saw that there were none, it made his job much easier.

He slowly walked around slowly, taking in every detail. There were burn marks on the ground where the pool has been and the chemicals sometimes dropped to the concrete. Not far from it were four little hooks in the floor, and two bigger ones in the walls. Damian recalled that those had chains in them when they did the initial surveillance after the fire. The computer in Damian's glove was vibrating non-stop as the chemical residue was still the strongest in that room.

There were two doors opening from the room. One of them was the one Damian already knew opened into the corridor and the other one was a small closet. Damian stepped to that one and opened it up. It held the switches to the lights and gas, and all of the pipes ran in there. Damian ran his arm around the small room to make sure everything was at the same level. It would've been suspicious if one side had higher readings, then he would've been forced to look for a hidden door.

He closed the door after himself and with a grapple he got back into the vent and with some specially engineered glue he stuck it back into the place. The vibration weakened a bit immediately and got even weaker as he started crawling away. He went along the corridor until it eventually came to an intersection. He reached his arm towards the left side, waiting for the glove to pick it up. It didn't get stronger. Then he reached towards his right and started crawling when he felt the vibration pick up a bit. He stopped at every single went he found and reached down, waiting for the glove to give him any sign of the toxin's ingredients, but they always stayed on the same frequency. So he just followed the vent, the vibration getting harder and harder.

The last vent appeared to be so insignificantly small that Damian wanted to immediately just turn along with the vent, but the glove vibrated so hard it was almost hurtful at that point. It was clear that was the right place. He kicked off the cover with a few strong kicks then dropped down without hesitation.

He felt truly glad he took the precaution to use the rebreather. What has clearly been a janitors closet one day, has now been turned to a test lab for chemical warfare. There were absolutely no ingredients for any kind of toxin missing from that place and nobody bothered to close them securely. Damian truly expected it to be dangerous, hence the rebreather and the white-outs of his domino mask secured, but if he had been just a bit more careless, the amount of synthetical substance around him could've caused serious damage to his eyes and lungs.

The bottles, tanks and the walls were painted red with crazy smiles and taunting messages in the Joker's crazy, almost unintelligible handwriting. It was like he wanted to employees of the power-plant to notice the things missing, to notice he was there and to find him hiding in the basement.

Damian shook his head in disbelief. He knew the Joker was crazy, but he never expected him to be this mad. He read through the writings and looked at the drawings, many of them with the Bat symbol crossed out or just badly coloured in to the extent of disfiguration. He eventually turned to face the door.

He wasn't one to feel sick when something shocked him, but even his stomach dropped. The red and black uniform was nailed onto the doorframe as if it had been crucified. Damian knew that uniform, but in case someone else found it, the unmistakable Red Robin emblem Drake wore on his chest was nailed onto the middle of the door. It was broken in half, only held together with ducktape. The Joker probably kept it as a sick souvenir.

This was exactly what Damian feared he would find. The evidence everyone dreaded would come up one day. Because this made it clear: The Joker killed Red Robin.

Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne was dead.

Damian stepped to the door and with unusual softness the started pulling the nails out of the uniform until it lay limply in his hands. He slipped the broken emblem into his pocket before he took a closer look at the Red Robin costume. It was slashed in half at the back, but several smaller tears covered the entire thing. It wasn't a vigilante uniform at this point but a mere rag. And the entire fabric was covered in blood.

Damian stood for a long moment. Then he held the uniform in one hand before shooting off his grapple to get back into the vent. He has seen enough. He didn't stop for a second and didn't even bother putting back the vents he pulled apart. He went back to his bike and opened the seat. He gently laid the Red Robin uniform onto the wheel as he put on his cape. Then he folded the torn material and safely locked it away before getting onto the bike and driving off.

He couldn't take it home. He didn't have it in him. He prided himself in being the only member of the family who's feelings never got in the way when things needed to get done. But this was too much. He couldn't go back to the manor and look his father and Alfred in the eyes and tell them that Drake was gone.

Driving back onto the road, he didn't turn towards central Gotham but headed down south on the highway, towards Blüdhaven.

Grayson will be crushed. Damian knew that the first Robin will fall apart. But it will still be easier to face Bruce and Alfred with him on his side.  
Damian's grip tightened on the wheel as he urged the bike to go faster. He had to ditch it by the border of Blüdhaven, because he would draw too much attention if he rode in with his cape fluttering behind him.

He got off the bike and pulled out the Red Robin uniform, gently cradling it in his arm. Then he shot off the grapple again to fly through the city. He didn't stop to interfere in any crimes, he ignored the police whenever he saw them. He got to Grayson's apartment in record time.

He stopped on the roof of the building in front of Dick's window and frowned. The lights were turned on, Dick's form clearly visible. Todd was standing right in front of him, as if he just pulled back from a hug. Then Dick's arms tightened around the Red Hood before he smashed their lips together.

Before Damian had the time to think about what he was doing, he was off the roof and swinging towards Dick's window, not caring that he will break in the glass.

His feet collided with the window and he flew through it without much problems. Grayson and Todd flew apart, Jason immediately going to stand in front of a third person Damian didn't see enter from the roof.

"Damian?" Dick shouted, but Damian's eyes were glued to the person Todd was trying to shield from him.

"Drake...?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment after yourself! Thank you for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started replying to comments lately with a sly :) when I can't answer the questions because of spoilers. So yeah. This is the chapter :)

Damian saw on his peripheral vision how Dick kept looking back and forth between him and Drake, but he wouldn't take his eyes off the third Robin. This was too much to take in at once. Jason straightened up between them, still holding his arm out as he tried to get Tim behind his back as if he was sure Damian would attack him at any chance.

And honestly, Damian was seriously considering it.

Dick sighed as he came to a decision. He stepped between Damian and Jason.  
"Tim, go to the bathroom," he said, now only looking at Damian. Damian met the familiar azure blue eyes, but he couldn't read them. That was the strangest part; usually, Dick was like an open book to him.

Tim looked at Dick and then Jason.  
"But..."

"Just go." Dick didn't take his eyes off Damian.

"Come one, Babybird. Let's go," Jason said, his huge hands laying gently on Tim's waist. His voice was so soft Damian had a hard time recognising it as the battle worn vigilante's he had known Jason as. His face contoured in a frown.

"I thought he was dead," he said. His voice was barely a whisper, his anger slowly rising to the surface like a tub slowly overflowing with water.

"Dami," Dick started and tried to take a step towards the boy, but Damian chucked the torn Red Robin suit at his chest.

"I thought he died, Grayson! I found that in the Joker's hide out like a sick altar! Can you imagine?" By the end, he was shouting. He could still remember when Dick came back after pretending to be back. He could remember how happy he was. But this time it was different. Because it seemed that Tim's life was a secret only be trusted to a few.

"Dami, I can explain," Dick tried again, his voice still soft and levelled. Damian could see the hurt in his brother's eyes, but in that moment he couldn't care for his feelings.

"How long has this been going on? How long have you been hiding him?" Damian clenched his hands into fist to control the shaking brought on by the rage. He was struggling to stay in control of his emotions. He was glad the white-outs hid his eyes.

"A month and half," Dick answered. At this point there was no reason to lie anymore. Damian would know he was lying if he tried to do so and it would only leave a bigger gap between them.

Damian fell eerily silent for a long moment. His hands fell open, his posture relaxed.  
"A month and a half," he repeated.

Dick nodded his head.  
"Yeah, but there's a lot to this story, and I hope you will listen and we can talk about this," he said. Dick was always so happy, bubbly and touchy, it was easy to forget that at the very end of the day, he was the adult between them. Damian always thought of himself as the mature one between the Bats, despite being the youngest. But the way Grayson was now talking, the way he looked at him... made him feel so young, small and immature.

"How long has Todd known?" he asked. He could tell the white-outs were bothering the first Robin, because he couldn't see Damian's eyes. But those white lenses were his only protection at the moment, and he would be damned if he gave them up.

"Since the beginning."

Damian slowly nodded his head. He should've seen that coming.  
"Who else knows?"

"Alfred."

Damian pressed his lips into a thin line. So the butler was also in on the secrets, and still let them suffer.  
"So I'm the only one you don't trust enough to share this with."

Dick gasped and stepped forward. He stopped when he saw Damian take a step back.  
"That's not true and you know it. I trust you with my life, Little D," he reached out but Damian grimaced before he could touch him.

"But not his, apparently," he gestured towards the door with his head. "I was ready to mourn him, you know," he admitted. He could tell that he just turned the knife in Dick's heart and he took a sick pleasure from that. He was hurt and he was angry. Yes, maybe he was immature. But why was it okay for them to hurt him and not for him to do so too?

"Damian, please, just let me actually tell you what happened. Then you would finally understand..."

"Tim. Timber, its okay. Babybird, try to breathe... Babybird..." they could hear Jason opening the bathroom's door. Something splashed. A body fell onto the floor. Both Damian and Dick squared their shoulders. They knew something wasn't right. 

"DICK!" Jason's voice was panicked. Damian ran to the door right after Dick moved. He had never heard the big bad Red Hood afraid, it seemed impossible for him to even have that emotion. Dick took one look at the scene before running into the bedroom, and Damian was left to watch the scene unfold.

Jason was sitting on the floor by the open bathroom door. He clutched Tim tightly to his chest as the boy trashed in his arms as if he was heaving a seizure. Tim's breathing was coming out in wheezes, like he was being suffocated. His eyes were wide but it was clear he couldn't see them. The sheer terror on his face was enough to tell that whatever monsters his mind was showing him completely took over him.

Damian backed away. He had seen all of his brothers under the influence of Feartoxin. He had seen them wake up from nightmares. But this... This was a whole entire thing.

Dick ran back out in the hallway, tearing the cap off a syringe with his teeth. He fell onto his knees beside Jason and plunged the needle into Tim's neck.

That was the moment Damian turned around and went as he came, through the window. He needed time. He needed to process this.

*****************

_Tim closed the bathroom door and leaned against the sink. He needed to calm down, he needed to collect himself. He shouldn't be so easily rattled, he was doing so well lately, he had to keep his cool._

He was okay. He was going to be okay. He and Damian had their differences, but the boy was not evil. And Dick had this under control. The first Robin had a way with words and if anyone could get through the current Robin then it would be him.

_He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. He needed to focus on something, he had to take his mind off things. He looked into the mirror to focus on his own image if nothing else. His hair was getting a bit out of hand, almost down to his shoulder's at this point. He was still way too thin, but his cheeks had some colours instead of the unhealthy paleness they held for weeks. He was in Dick's BPD sweater he wore to bed._

Tim gasped and turned towards the tub. There was nothing. He didn't even know what happened or what scared him. He was just so sure there would be something. It was like he had seen that picture before.

Deja vu.

The sound of a childish giggle flashed through his hand and he turned to look at the door. So that was it. He had seen that before. But that had been a dream, right? It couldn't happen again. He wasn't thirteen anymore for the Joker Junior version of him to be there. He had no gun. The Joker was dead.

It was silent in the bathroom. He was alone and he was awake. He was not going to die.

There was a sound coming from upstairs and Tim flinched. It was just his paranoia. He was alone in the bathroom. Jason was right outside the door, he won't let anyone in who would hurt him.

It was silent. He was alone. He wasn't going to die.

The sharp sound... That must have been him, right? He was starting to panic, he was wheezing as he hyperventilated. It wasn't the maniacal shriek of a jokerized child. There was no child in the bathroom with him.

He was alone. Then... Why did it feel like he was going to die?

Tim jumped a little and turned back towards the sink. He should face the door. The adult Joker him came from that way, he shouldn't turn his back that way. That would make him vulnerable.  
But this was irrational. He was there, no Joker was coming. He killed him.

No laughter. He was alone. But... He was going to die.

Tim grabbed his head and tried to focus. Why was the world turning so fast? He wasn't going crazy. He wasn't going crazy. He was overreacting. Damian caught him off-guard. He needed to calm down. He held his breath for a long moment.

Was that a sound? Was he imagining it? He was alone. There was no laughter, he was only imagining it. He was going crazy.

Oh god, he was going to die.

He can't die, Jason broke the knife. Tim knew, because they threw it down the trash-chute together. It was no longer in the house, it can't cut his throat. He shouldn't be afraid. He was safe.

He was alone. Silence. No knife.

_He was going to die._

Tim grabbed his throat. He needed to shield it. They were going to kill him. He could hear it. They were laughing. He knew it. That was the sound. They were laughing at him. They'll watch him bleed out in agony.

Alone. Silence. No knife.  
He was going to die.

Strong arms grabbed him around the waist, and without any warning, Tim threw up all over the floor. His body can't handle this much stress. 

_He was going to die._

He was pulled backwards until him and the other person ended up on the floor. Tim tried to fight, but the attacker only held him even tighter and grabbed his arms to restrain him. Tim sobbed out loud and did his best to shield his throat.

_He was sure he was going to die._

Jason was panicking. He didn't know what to do. No matter how many times or how he called out, Tim wouldn't respond. The moment he touched him, the boy threw up and started trashing, but if Jason let him go, he will only hurt himself.  
He tried to shush him, to catch his eyes, but those dark blues just looked through him.

Tim couldn't hear or see anything else than his demons.

Jason tightened his hold, and for the first time in many long years, he called out for help.

"DICK!"

*****************

Dick ran his thumb over the back of Tim's hand. He had been sitting on the ground beside the bed for an hour now, just like he had been when Tim first arrived. Except this time, Tim's sleeping was chemically induced instead of it being from the exhaustion. Dick raised Tim's hand to his lips and gave an apologetic kiss to the back of it.

He didn't tell Tim, nor Jason that he put the tranquilizer in the nightstand. But it had been there ever since that day when Tim attacked Jason in the kitchen. It was seemed unnecessary later on, but he just couldn't let it go. When he saw Tim raise a knife against Jason, it broke something in him. And being a Bat, he was always prepared for the worst even if it pained him. He never wanted to use it, but here they were.

He had no choice. Tim just wasn't responding. If they let it go on, someone could've gotten hurt, most likely Tim himself. He just couldn't let that happen.

By the time, he could focus on anything else but Tim, Damian was gone. And as much as Dick wanted to run after him, he knew he couldn't leave. He needed to change Tim into clean clothes and put him to bed. And even then he just didn't dare to leave him. He put him into a stable position on his side in case he were to throw up again.

He barely caught Jason leaving. The younger man cleaned up the bathroom, nailed a wooden door he took off a cabinet in front of the broken window, then grabbed his overnight bag. Neither of them said anything as Jason just left. Dick didn't even try to stop him. He knew how much this must have scared Jason. Just the fact that actually went as far as to ask for his help showed just how much it shook him.

Dick exhaled through his nose. He knew there would be a point when Jason's psyche wouldn't be able to handle this any longer. But both Jason and Tim had been doing so well lately, he thought the hard times were behind them. And even though he knew Tim would be panicking after he saw Damian, he never thought it would go this far. This seemed far fetched even for Tim's panic attacks. Something must have happened for it to escalate this bad.

Dick leaned his head against the mattress, and kept his eyes on Tim's hand to keep his focus. It was time they truly reevaluated their relationship. Seeing Damian in his apartment broke the domestic bliss the three of them settled into.

He knew he kissed Tim, even though he couldn't remember it. But just thinking about it conflicted him. Tim was beautiful and at this point Dick wasn't sure if he could sleep without him. Tim fit so well with him. It was like he was made to be held by Dick. They were like a well-oiled machine together.

But Tim was hurt. And the last thing Dick wanted was too make it worse by giving Tim another thing to be conflicted about. What if he didn't want to be with Dick like that? If he was bothered by the kiss? So Dick didn't even think about the fact that if he had the chance, he would do it again. He just buried it deep inside so it wouldn't come out anytime soon.

Then Jason kissed him. Right before Damian came in. He had the usually cocky, teasing smile and Dick was sure he just wanted to mess with him when the younger leaned in and pressed their lips together. When they pulled back, Jason gave him a grin and said. : _"You kissed Timmy, you owed me this. I don't like to be left out."_  
And Dick didn't know what came over him, he pulled Jason back to him and kissed him again. Deeper, with more passion. He just couldn't even think why he did it. It may have been the comfort of being held by someone who didn't need to be protected. Maybe it was the feeling of safety Dick felt when pressed up against Jason's bulk. He honestly didn't know. But it felt nice. It felt right.

Tim inhaled sharp as he stirred and Dick lifted his head, alert once again. Tim's eyes were still hazy, but Dick could tell that the boy at least recognised him.  
"Dick?" he called out so soft and slurred it was barely understandable. He reached for Dick, not fully realising that the elder was already holding his hand.

"Hey Babybird. How are you feeling?" he asked, taking Tim's hand into his other one so he could run his fingers through Tim's hair.

Tim looked around the room, his brain now finally starting to work.  
"What happened?" he asked, letting his head fall back onto the pillow.

Dick gave him a sad smile, still caressing his hair.  
"I don't know, you'll have to tell me," he answered gently.

Tim gave him a confused look.  
"What?"

"You had an a panic attack... More like an episode, really," Dick started. "You went completely unresponsive. We needed to sedate you so you wouldn't hurt yourself. You've been out for about an hour and a half."

That seemed to finally get through to Tim, who tried to sit up, but then he got lightheaded and he backed down onto the pillow.  
"Where's Jason?" he asked, looking around.

Dick gently pressed down on the younger's head to keep him laying down.  
"He left. This was a bit much for him. He needs some time process everything," he answered softly, once again pressing a kiss onto Tim's hand, hoping it will calm him down, because he could see how the colour drained from Tim's face.

"And Damian?"

"He left when we were sedating you," Dick replied. His chest tightened at the thought of that.

Tim looked into his eyes and swallowed hard.  
"Could you... talk to him?" he asked, his voice tight and thin. His hold on Dick's hand tightened.

Dick shook his eyes.  
"He was too mad to listen to me. He thinks we don't trust him."

Tim closed his eyes and exhaled softly.  
"Then why are you here? You need to talk to him before he convinces himself he's a bad person," he said and tried to pull his hand out of Dick's, but Dick tightened his hold on him.

"I messaged Alfred, he will make sure Damian is okay and that this stays between us," he assured him. Tim gave him a desperate look, his eyes shining with unshed tears in the dark.

"Dick, you need to go. He needs you, you know how he can get when you're not..." he started but Dick gently shushed him before he could even finish it. He moved a bit forward so they were on eye level and cradled Tim's face in his hand.

"Tim, I'd rather chop my hand off than leave you right now. Damian is not alone, and you need me too," he said, keeping eye-contact the entire time so Tim knew he was serious. 

"But..."

"Babybird, listen to me," he started again. "I made the mistake once that I left you when you needed me the most. I'm not making that mistake again. I will talk to Damian, I promise you that. But right now, I'm staying here with you," he said. He saw how the tears finally rolled down those pale cheeks and Tim sniffled.

He leaned forward and laced his arms around Dick's neck until he could finally bury his face in Dick's shoulder.  
"I'm so sorry."

Dick pressed a kiss onto Tim's shoulder and pulled him closer to his body.  
"It's okay baby. You're going to be okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BY ALL MEANS PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR REACTIONS, GOOD OR BAD.  
> THANK YOU FOR READING!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my day majorly sucked so please leave a comment to make it better. Thank you.

Jason inhaled deeply from his cigarette and exhaled the smoke with a sigh. Fuck, he was so stupid. He slouched his shoulder as he angrily ran his fingers through his hair, letting the cigarette just hang between his lips. He was sitting on a rooftop, his helmet by his side as he smoked. He overlooked the Crime Alley. It was surprisingly silent, like it was sensing the storm Jason knew was coming in his life. Or it may just have been the bone-chilling cold that froze any and everyone who didn't have Pennyworth-branded insulated pants.

He had an out weeks ago. Both Dick and Tim told him many, many times that they would understand if he just left. Fuck, they even tried to send him away multiple times, because of fucking course they would be stupid enough to care about him even if they were literally barely hanging onto their sanity.

In Tim's case that was to be understood literally.

They give him many chances, he was just always stupid enough to go back. And then he was crazy enough to stay. A normal person would've left the second Tim tried to stab them. Fuck that, a normal person wouldn't have gone to get rid of the body when Dick called him.  
But to be honest, at least him and the Replacement were now equal because the boy also didn't fuck off after Jason stabbed him and tried to cut his throat.

Maybe that was what made the boy so magnetic. He never gave up on Jason, so Jason just couldn't give up on him either. And he hated that with every fiber of his being. He hated how easy it had been to care for Tim. How easy it was to hold him throughout an entire night, how easy it was to just lay down onto the couch and banter while watching The Office. How normal and RIGHT it was to cook for him, to have breakfast together, sometimes chatting away or just in silence. Because even the silence felt comfortable.

He could still feel Tim's hand in his when they threw away the knife and when they left the apartment to pick up Dick from the bar. Because as much as Jason liked to blame the kiss on Dick being drunk, he couldn't deny the man was right. Tim was pretty even if he still wasn't in the best shape ever. And if Jason got the chance, he would also go in for a kiss, if only he knew he wouldn't feel guilty right afterwards.

So he kissed Dick instead.

Jason almost laughed out loud. He thought of it like it was such a big sacrifice on his part even though he wanted to do so since he was twelve. Dick had been his first love when they were both just coming into their new roles, so young and careless about the world. Because he had been beautiful.. Oh so beautiful even in that disgusting Discowing suit. Dick had grown up since then, his almost androgynous features morphing into that of a perfect man throughout the years. And Jason has died so he guessed they were almost on the same level at that point.

And god, it felt good. Dick was so solid against him, all lean muscles and warmth. Jason was now taller than him so he had to tip his head back so they could kiss. Jason could still remember when Dick seemed so tall compared to him he feared he would never catch up.

And here they were today. Jason on a rooftop, Tim most likely wrapped up in a warm blanket with Dick spooning him from behind.

Fuck Jason wanted to get in that bed with them so bad. Fuck the flashbacks he got about the Joker, fuck the nightmares where he could hear Tim scream until his breath ran out and fuck all common sense that told him that he was making a mistake. He wanted to go back to them.

Jason rubbed his cigarette into the concrete of the rooftop before he flicked it onto the street under him. His breath showed in the air when he sighed.

"Come out, brat, I'm not in the mood for hide and seek," he called out before turning to the side so he could look at Damian as the boy stepped out of the shadows. Damian was in full Robin costume, but he was alone, that was clear. "Ya want something?"

"I have questions," the boy exclaimed without hesitation, his voice sure and strong, but Jason knew him well enough to see through the tough exterior.

"Why not go to Dick?" he asked. Damian didn't answer that question, but that told Jason everything. He let out a soft chuckle. "So you feel bad, am I right?"

"Why are you hiding him?" Damian avoided answering the original question and tried to change the topic. He directly didn't say the name out loud.

"Now you wanna listen?" Jason asked, smirk plastered on his face. Damian stepped to the edge next to him.

"A third party made me see from a different perspective."

Jason raised an eyebrow.  
"Alfie?"

"Colin."

"You didn't hurt the boy, did ya?"

Damian's face contorted into a frown and even with the domino in its place Jason knew the teen was disgusted by the suggestion.  
"I wouldn't hurt Colin. I may have stabbed a few animal abusers on the way, but I would never hurt Colin," he said.

Jason snorted.  
"Did ya tell B that?"

"There was nothing life-threatening so I didn't see fit to tell Father about it."

Jason chuckled and turned back to Crime Alley. Damian settled beside him.  
"He killed the Joker," he said softly but in the silence of the night it still felt like he just shouted it out into the world.

"I realised that much."

Jason shook his head.  
"You saw how bad it is. And you know how bad B takes this kind of announcements. He's terrified of what B will say or do. We thought it was the best if he recovered first before he has to face the Bat," he answered and pulled out another cigarette. Damian sliced it in half with a batarang before he could light it.

"That doesn't answer why you hid it from the rest of us. You all saw how hurt Brown is about this," Damian growled out, his anger bubbling up again. He had to take a moment to calm down.

"Because we made the decision to put his needs in front of anyone else's. The less people know it, the less chance for it to get out. We only told Alfie because we needed his help," Jason shrugged, resting his arm on his helmet.

Damian pressed his lips into a thin line.  
"So you really don't trust us. You really think so little of me?" he asked.

Jason didn't miss the way the two sentences had different pronouns.  
"No, it's because we think too much of you."

Damian kept his eyes on the street.  
"Elaborate."

Jason sighed.  
"You're a good guy, brat. It's not that we don't trust you because we don't want you there. We didn't tell you because we didn't know if you could keep it a secret when you knew how much it hurts the others," he said, turning to look at the boy.

Damian seemed shocked enough and strangely insulted when he looked back at Jason.  
" What? "

Jason shrugged.  
"You literally came here and you proceeded to start reasoning with blondie being hurt about this. You know how worried Bruce is, and you can try denying it, but you care and it hurts you to see him like that. Before you knew that Alfie was in on the secret, I would bet my head you were most worried about how he was taking it. So yeah, " he said. "We didn't not tell you because you're a bad guy. We didn't tell you because you're a good one."

Damian didn't answer. His posture was now relaxed, his face empty as he kept looking at the dump they called their city. Jason kept his eyes on the boy. It was just a guess when he asked:  
"Who did you tell?" he wasn't even mad. He knew this would happen the moment Damian fled the apartment without giving them a chance to explain.

The way Damian looked at him was all the confirmation Jason needed.

*******************

Tim sat beside the window as Dick made lunch for them. They were now back on the comm unit system most of the time since Dick needed to go to work and now they didn't have anyone to stay with Tim throughout the day. It has only been a week since Jason left and Dick finally had a full day off so he could actually cook something to eat instead of just ordering out.

Dick closed off the gas under the pan and wiped his hands into a rag before turning to Tim.   
"It's done if you're hungry," he said with a soft smile, stepping to the window beside Tim. He wound his arms around the boy's slim shoulder and pressed a kiss onto the top of his head as they looked out the window. Winter was setting in. It still hasn't snowed, but the leaves had already all fallen, covering the streets in brown. The sun was shining, which was just as rare in Blüdhaven as it was in Gotham, but unsurprisingly the clouds were already lurking on the sky, ready to toss the city into darkness again.

"Do you think we could go down for a walk?" Tim asked softly, his hand reaching up to grab the sleeve of Dick's shirt.

Dick was surprised by the request. Tim had never expressed the want to leave the apartment ever since he arrived almost two months ago. Dick suppressed a smile and tightened his hold just a little bit.  
"Sure. Right now?" he asked.

Tim shrugged.  
"Why not? But we can go anytime," he said, turning away from the window to look up at Dick.

Dick patted his shoulders when he pulled away.  
"Then go change into something warmer. There's a park nearby, we can go there," he said and let Tim go so the boy could change. He himself had gone down to shop earlier so he was presentable. He doubly checked the gas was off before going to the entrance. He pulled on his shoes and went through his coats.

"I used the black one last time. That should be good again," Tim commented when he came out of the room. Dick looked at the coat in his hands.

"This one?"

"Yeah."

Dick gave another unsure look at the coat. Sure, it was warm, but it wasn't the warmest garment he had in there. He frowned softly.  
"Are you sure? It's really cold outside," he asked. Sure, Tim looked like he had at least three layers on, but he still lacked a spleen and Dick will never stop being a worry wart.

Tim grabbed the coat from him with a soft smile.  
"I'm sure."  
Dick let him wear the coat, but he didn't try to hide his worry filled frown. He wrapped a scarf around Tim despite the boy's protest, but he wouldn't budge on that one.

He closed the door and pushed against it with his shoulder to make sure it was secure. He patted Tim's back and steered him towards the stairs. He tried not to fret too much over how Tim seemed to tense up with every step they took. His posture became tighter as he started chewing on his lower lip. By the time, they were at the front door of the building, Tim was rubbing his fingers.

Dick reached out and laced their fingers together to make him stop.  
"We don't have to go if you're not sure," he said softly, but Tim shook his head.

"I'm sure, just nervous," he said and pushed on the door to open it up. He didn't let Dick's hand go as they stepped outside.

The streets were silent, the quiet only broken by the passing cars. Most people were still at work or school, not yet going out for their lunchbreak. Tim took a deep breath and slowly exhaled; that was good. That made him feel better. This way they would immediately notice any threat, not having millions of sounds around them to concentrate on.  
He didn't even notice how he started rubbing Dick's finger.

"Can I ask you something?" Dick asked, keeping a slow pace as he lead them to the park. They weren't in hurry, they had all the time in the world, or at least it felt like that.

"Sure," Tim looked at him in surprise.

"Why do you rub your fingers? I can see that it hurts you," he said, looking at the marks on the digits. He hid their joined hands in his pocket when he saw the distaste Tim looked at it with.

Tim looked around the street. He noted every open window and how far they were from them. He watched the cars passing and looked out for every place a passenger could come out from. Then he leaned closer to Dick.  
"Sometimes, it still feels like I have his blood on my hand," he admitted. He could hear how Dick's breath hitched, but he chose to ignore it, knowing that he will never say it out if he chickened out now. "Some days I think I will look down and see them covered with it. It feels like no matter how many times I wash it, it never really goes away." He looked at the ground for a long moment before adding. "Jason kept telling me to stop, but I just can't. I don't really think it will ever go away."

Dick sighed and squeezed Tim's hand.  
"I wish I could say it will, but I can't know that."

Tim shrugged at that.  
"I wish I knew how Jason does it. He kept telling me it was self-defense and that I don't need to feel bad, but I can't let it go."

Dick hesitated for a moment. He didn't know how to say what he wanted to. Jason and his stance about killing was a difficult topic to all of them. Tim was usually understanding about it, seeing the reason Jason came up with. He never treated the Red Hood as a villain. And yet, the moment he got blood on his hands, he crumbled, despite understanding the logic of why he did the right thing.  
"Jason... he has his own ways of dealing with this. The flaws he sees in B's ways are stronger than the problems he sees with killing. And honestly, we both know most of the Gothamites agree with him," he said, keeping his voice low. "But I think this is something we can never truly wash away. It will stay with us forever. But it gets better."

He met Tim's eyes with a sad look. He knew he had blood on his hands. He let people get shot, he had shot people both as an officer and as a spy. He made decisions as a vigilante which ended lives. And as much as it pained him, he knew it was for the better. But that didn't mean he truly stopped remembering them. He exhaled slowly.  
"I think it's like grief. You know it's there and it will always be there. It just stops being so strong over time." He gave Tim a sad smile. The boy held his gaze for a long moment before he pressed a kiss onto the man's shoulder over his coat. An unspoken sorry.

Neither of them spoke until they reached the park. A few young mothers were sitting by the playground as the kids ran around, hoping they would tire themselves out before lunch so then they could take a nap and the parents would have a quiet hour for themselves. They were too occupied with the children to pay Dick and Tim any mind.

"By the way, I wanted to apologise," Tim suddenly said, his voice a bit lighter than before. Dick gave him a surprised look.

"For what?"

"For walking in on you and Jason. You know... The night Damian came," he said softly, his ears turning red. Dick decided to tell himself it was from the cold.

"Oh God," he groaned. He completely forgot about that. He was way too occupied with worrying about Tim's health to think about how Tim could interpret those kisses.

Tim blushed even deeper. He moved like he wanted to pull his hand away from Dick's but didn't do it in the end.  
"I mean... If you guys... You know, are together... Then you should've just said so. I could've slept on the couch instead of Jason so you two could've..." he stammered over his words, now not looking Dick in the eye.

"Oh no, we're not doing this," Dick shook his head quickly and stopped so he could turn face to face with Tim. "Jason kissed me because he said that I owe him that after kissing you. We're not together like that."

Tim raised his eyes from the ground to finally meet Dick's gaze.  
"Really? Because you guys seemed into it," he said with an embarrassed laugh.

Dick closed his eyes and resisted the urge to hit his head into the nearest tree.  
"Timmy, if kissing means dating, you and I are also dating," he reminded the boy.

"Dick, you were drunk, it doesn't matter," Tim said softly.

"And what if I wanted to do it again?" Dick asked, looking into Tim's eyes the entire time. He could see how surprised Tim was by the admission. His mouth opened, but instead of actually saying anything he just closed it again. Dick pulled their hands out of his pockets and let it rest on his chest as his free arm came around Tim's waist. He looked away for a split moment to gather his thought before he turned back to Tim. 

"Listen, I know this is weird, but I like being with you. I love coming home to you, I love cuddling up to you and I love waking up next to you. I didn't plan on saying anything, because you're not exactly in a mental state where you could really care for something like this, but if we're already having this conversation, I'm just gonna say it," he said with an unsure smile and looked down at their joined hands. "I can't say for sure that this is love, and I definitely can't speak for you. But I care for you, I love that you're here with me, and if I had the chance to kiss you again, possibly sober, then I would do it again in a heartbeat."

He couldn't decipher the look in Tim's eyes. There was so much sadness, longing and everything else in those deep blue eyes Dick felt like he could drown in all those emotions.  
"Dick..." Tim breathed softly. "I'm broken."

Dick leaned his forehead against Tim's and closed his eyes.  
"I know, Babybird. That's why I didn't want to tell you before. You have so much more to focus on that to care for this half-assed relationship we kinda have and worry where it could go. And I want you to know that I don't care if you don't want anything more. I'm just happy that you're here and you're as okay as you can be. That's all I truly ask for," he said with a soft smile and opened his eyes.

"And what about Jason?"

Dick shrugged.  
"I honestly don't know. I'm not gonna lie to you and say I'm not attracted to him. But this is not a question I can truly answer without him here," he admitted.

Tim's eyes softened a bit and a small smile came onto his lips.  
"Thank you for not lying."

Dick chuckled softly.  
"At this point, that's the only thing I can offer," he said with a grin. He was surprised when Tim pushed himself onto his toes, but didn't pull back when the younger pressed their lips together. He let the younger lead the kiss, his hold on Tim gentle but sure. The kiss was gentle, soft, almost unsure. But it was truly them. No alcohol to drive them, not anything.

When Tim pulled back, Dick smiled. Tim flexed his hold on Dick's hand.  
"I can't really promise you anything, seeing that we don't know if I'll loose it one day and just go crazy. But I love being with you, I truly love what we have. I can't really promise you much, but if this is enough, then I'm okay with it," he said, his smile bigger and more genuine than ever before.

Dick was afraid his heart will burst out of his chest from beating so hard and his smile felt like he will split his face in half.  
"So we can do this again? " he asked, his eyes going to Tim's lips for a split second.

Tim stepped closer to him, so he was now flush against Dick's body.  
"As long as you're not drunk again," he said and laughed when Dick groaned. "Come on, I'm just messing with you. I have seen weirder things from drunk people. I'm friends with Steph after all," he said, leaning in for a quick peck on the lips.

"Yeah, I thought we were friends too."

The guys jumped apart and turned to the side. Stephanie was wrapped in a lilac coat, her blond hair falling freely onto her shoulders from under her black beanie. Her was face was closed off, her expression guarded.

"Stephanie..." Tim tried to take a step forward, but just a look from her was enough to make him stop. She gave Dick a dead glare, before she turned back to Tim.

"So this is where you've been? For three months? Without giving a single fucking sign that you are still alive?" she asked. She was desperately trying to keep her cool, but her tone betrayed how furious she actually was.

"Steph, I can explain..." Tim started, but she cut him off with a wave of her hand.

"To be honest, I'm way too angry to listen to you right now, so I'm going home. And tomorrow, you will actually make an effort to reach out for me and explain if we actually matter to you," she said and before either man had a chance to say anything she turned around an walked away.

Dick actually found a deep appreciation about how she handled this. It was clear she was livid, but she didn't attack Tim or him. She knew she was too angry to treat this right and she took the action best suited for that.

"We have to tell them," Tim whispered as he watched his best friend hurry away from them.

"Tim?"

Tim turned back to him, his eyes filled with fear.  
"If we don't tell them, she will."

Dick stepped close to him again.  
"She said she's going to listen to you tomorrow. It's going to be okay."

Tim shook his head.  
"No. If someone just says something wrong, she will blow up. It won't be intentional, but it will slip out. So if they don't already know, then they will find out soon enough."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the chapter everyone - otherwise known as me - has been waiting for. :D  
> Please leave a comment after yourself, I'm dying to know your thoughts! :)

Jason stopped when he heard his phone chirp. He was just getting ready to go out to patrol, when it went off. Then it went off again, and again and again. He reached for it, almost scared to open it up. The first thing he saw was a message from Tim.

_'I'm so sorry to have to ask you, but if we were to go back to the cave, would you stand with us?_

It was followed immediately by seven thousand messages from Dick.

_Pls talk Timmy out of this_  
_He's panicking, he's over thinking it, he doesn't really want this_  
_Pls he's not ready to face B_  
_Jay, what do I do?_

Jason dialled the number before he even had time to think about it. It was picked up on the third ring.  
"Ja..."

"Are you stupid? Seriously, are you stupid? Aren't ya supposed to be the genius in the family, Timmers? Because this is a really fucking stupid idea," he shouted and for the first time in two months he didn't hold back his voice when he was talking to Tim.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to bother you. I understand that you don't want part in this..." Tim started, and Jason groaned.

"That ain't what I'm talking 'bout. If you do something stupid, I'll be the first person next to you. But the sheer stupidity that you wanna face B right now is rocking my fucking world, and my best friend is Roy fucking Harper! Do you how much stupidity I handle every time I see him?! And you still manage to outstupid that!" he said and leaned onto the table. The pure rage the scenario of Bruce looming over small, fragile Tim filled him with made him light-headed. Tim was so hurt and scared still, Jason wanted to reach for his gun just from the thought of Bruce looking at Tim the wrong way.

The silence on the other end told Jason how much he shocked the younger with his outburst. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.  
"Why are you doin' this? What brought this on?" he asked.

"Stephanie knows," Tim answered softly. Jason could imagine him rubbing his fingers on his free hand, curled up on the couch, wrapped in the blanket.

Jason nodded his head to himself.  
"I know."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Damian told me he told her," he answered. He heard Tim swearing on the other end and he couldn't help but smile.

Then eventually Tim sighed.  
"Doesn't matter. If literally everyone but Bruce knows, it's only time until he figures it out. And I'd rather tell him myself than have him realise it by himself. That would end worse," he explained. And Jason absolutely hated that he was right. Bruce would probably tear them apart then give them the cold shoulder for years before they could get to the fighting stage of the making up process. And that was sure that Tim would handle that worse than anything else. He still had that faith in Bruce that Dick and Jason had grown out at this point in life.

"I know... But are you sure about this? Timber, you can always wait as long as you need," he said. It was weird to take on the kind and gentle tone he always heard Dick speak in, but at this point he was completely out of other options. He yelled, he tried to reason, he was out of ideas at this point.

"I think I have to tear it off like a bandaid. Let's get it done, and I can always hide away here again if needed," Tim said.

Jason closed his eyes and exhaled heavily.  
"Okay. Is Dick bringing you to Gotham?" he asked, reaching for his guns with his free hand. He started putting them away into the holsters strapped to his thighs.

"Yeah."

"Okay. Then I'll meet you in the cave," he said softly.

"Thank you." As Tim hung up, Jason held his breath for a moment. It was all too sudden, he thought it will take much longer for the boy to say he needed to talk to the others. But he was right. Out of all the shit options, this may be just the smallest bad. And still, as Jason reached for the spare bullets, he hesiateted for a moment before taking the non-lethal ones.

Usually, when he fought against Bruce, neither of them got hurt seriously. But if the man as much as tried to lift a finger against Tim, Jason was ready to put him out of commission.

Jason put on his helmet.

No matter, who was the opponent, he would kill for his Babybird.

****************

Dick's heart was in his throat as threy sped towards Gotham in the highway. He honestly felt like throwing up as his nerves were messing with every part of his being. He put his life on the line every single day since he had been ten and yet the fact that he had to take Tim back to the manor was the thing that genuinely scared him. He couldn't predict how the others would react.

He already knew that Damian and Stephanie had been furious, but they both calmed down at this point. They notified them that they were coming back today, so they would meet them in the cave. Barbara and Cass would hide their anger and choose the silent treatment as a form of revenge, but neither of them would do anything too bad. Duke was out on patrol with Harper, but neither of them were as emotionally involved with Tim as the rest. He was the least worried about those two.

And he was the most worried about Bruce. Of course he was most worried about Bruce. He loved and respected the man to no end, but he was far from perfect. Especially when it came to feelings and anger management. If he blew up, they were all fucked.

Tim was probably thinking about the same thing because his arms tightened a bit around Dick's waist. He was wearing a helmet but that didn't stop him from trying to melt into Dick's back. And hell if Dick didn't want him to. If he had any say in this he would just pull Tim into a tight hug and speed back to Blüdhaven to hide away for the rest of their lives. They could just ditch being a vigilante, get some easy everyday jobs and live in happy secrecy, just the two of them. And Jason if the man would be okay with the calmness and domesticity of their situation. Maybe they could even get a puppy.

Thinking about a peaceful future only made Dick feel even more eager to get home so he had to stop. He agreed to go there with Tim, even if he still though it was an overreaction on the boy's part. He tried to talk Tim out of it, Jason tried to talk him out of it, and neither of them succeeded. So it was decided.

He stopped for a moment before they turned down the way to the Batcave. He pulled off his helmet and turned to the side so he could look at Tim. The boy also pulled his own helmet off.

Dick watched him with a worried look.  
"Are you really sure about this?" he asked, his gloved hand squeezing the younger's thigh softly.

Tim looked down at the hand before putting his own over it. At this point, he instinctually intertwined their fingers. He looked into Dick's azure blue eyes and gave him an unsure smile.  
"We already came this far."

Dick didn't even miss a beat before replying:  
"We can always go back."

Tim chuckled softly.  
"If I don't talk to him now, then I never will. And honestly, the thought of him finding out from someone else scares me more than this, and even that feels impossible," he said, his grip tightening around this. "I don't know if I'll get the will to do this ever again, so I need to go through it. Even if it ends up with me banished from Gotham for good,"he said with a sad smile. His hand was trembling in Dick's but he held his gaze the entire time.

Dick leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Tim's free hand came up to run his finger's through the soft black locks as he kissed him back. Dick leaned their foreheads together when they pulled apart.  
"We're in this together," he whispered before giving Tim another soft peck on the lips.

"Thank you," Tim breathed against Dick's lips before pulling away for good to put on his helmet. Dick followed suit. He pressed the button on the bike which signalled for the batcave to open. There was no turning back at that point. Tim latched onto Dick's back again as he started the bike and they rode through the forest.  
The ground started lowering when they came close enough until the way into the cave was clear. And the moment the bike rode off the ramp it was closing behind them.

Bruce was standing in front of the computer, showing off the records from the crematorium they found the second car next to. Damian was sitting beside him in the armchair with Alfred the cat sleeping calmly on his lap as the teenager scratched between his ears gently. Cass was sitting on the computer desk on Bruce's other side, swinging her legs slightly as she watched the monitor. Barbara and Stephanie stood by the stairs, both of them crossing their arms over their uniforms. They already seemed angry, which didn't help calm Dick's anxiety. And then there was Jason.

Dick wanted to cry from relief when he saw the younger man right by his bike, standing the closest from where the two of them parked now. He didn't have his helmet or domino on, but his face was blank. Dick knew he wouldn't be able to hold himself like that in that moment. So stoic.

Dick pulled off his helmet, now meeting Bruce's surprised look head on.  
"Dick, what is this?" the man asked, his voice tight and wary. He straightened up and squared his shoulders, ready to fight. Dick felt Tim's arms tighten around his waist.

So Dick took a deep breath and schooled his expression to hide his nervousness.  
"Bruce, we need to talk," he said and gently got out of Tim's hold to get off the bike.

Now Bruce seemed even stricter.  
"What is going on?"

Dick looked at the others. Damian, Stephanie and surprisingly Barbara weren't shaken up by the events, they just waited for something to happen. Cass didn't show any emotions, but Dick didn't expect her to do so in the first place. Jason just walked around him to get to Tim.  
"Please. Just promise me, that whatever happens, you won't do anything rush and you won't be mad," he asked. He knew it was a stupid request, but he couldn't stop himself from asking it.

"Dick. What is going on?" Bruce didn't raise his voice, but it was clear that he was more and more on the edge with every passing second.

Dick turned around to look at Tim and Jason. He saw how Jason's jaw clenched when Tim reached up and undid his helmet before taking it off. None of them dared to look at Bruce as Tim shook out his hair, then gave a painful smile.  
"Hi, Bruce," he whispered softly, still holding onto the helmet like a shield.

"Tim..." Bruce murmured more to himself than to the others, and he immediately set off, opening his arms for a hug. He stopped short when Jason put himself between him and Tim.

"We really have to tell you something," Dick repeated, following Jason's example. He straightened up and turned to face Bruce fully. This brought the suspicion back onto the man's face.

"What happened?"

Dick could hear how Tim got off the motorbike and walked to them. He wanted to step forward but Jason reached out and stopped him. So Tim stood between them. He didn't lower his eyes or hunched his shoulder as he said:  
"I killed the Joker." His voice was sure, his gaze unwavering. It was such a difference from when he could barely whisper it to Dick or when he needed to hold Dick's hand to admit it to Alfred.

It was a sight to behold as the life and energy drained out of Bruce.  
"You did... What?" he asked, even though they all knew he heard Tim perfectly.

Dick heard how shaky Tim's breathing was before he repeated himself.  
"I killed the Joker." His voice was softer now, but still as sure as before.

Jason reached behind himself to grab Tim's hand.  
"And I got rid of the body. And yes, it had been in the crematorium, but it's not on the records," he said, a bit too cocky in Dick's opinion. But he stood with them, ready to take a punch for both.

Bruce became guarded again, his eyes and face unreadable. The first sign that he was getting angry. If it was Tim or Dick, he may have probably just walked away. But the fact that Jason was there with them and he and Bruce had quite the record of solving their problems with violence and yelling didn't help.  
"How long has this been going on?" his voice was deep and soft, and chills ran down Dick's spine. He instinctively moved closer to Tim to shield him.

He didn't look away as he answered.  
"Two months."

The air seemed to freeze. Dick held his breath as Bruce turned around. The large hands came down on the desk so hard the entire computer system shook. Cass got off it so she wouldn't be in the danger zone and Damian stood from his chair. From his periphere Dick saw how Tim went a bit closer to Jason, who still held his hand securely. Then Bruce turned around, his Cape fluttering behind him and Tim flinched.  
"So you are telling me, that you were safe for the past two months while the rest of us were worried sick? And that you two have been sabotaging the case of a MURDER?" his voice boomed through the cave, scaring that bat's enough that they set of flying like they had gone mad.

Tim turned his eyes away, but nodded.

They heads Bruce take a breath to start yelling again, but another voice cut in.  
"Let's stop right here," Alfred said as he stopped at the top of the stairs.

Bruce growled out a warning.  
"Alfred."

Alfred wasn't phased.  
"No, Master Bruce. This is a conversation is desperately needed, but not like this. So now, Master Tim and I will go upstairs. The rest of you may talk, but if this conversation goes down this way, that may have consequences that you will regret for the rest of your life, "the butler said, his eyes hard as he watched Bruce. His face softened when he looked at Tim. "Come, young master. I have prepared some soup for you to warm you up."

Tim hesitated. He looked at the butler before his eyes met Dick's and Jason's. He didn't dare to look at Bruce. Jason let go of his hand and pushed him towards the stairs.  
"Go. We got this," he assured softly. Tim gave them one last unsure look before going after Alfred. His hand brushed against Dick's back softly as he passed him. Alfred waited for him patiently until he was by his side before leading him back up to the manor.

On one hand, it was weird since they were actually there so Tim could talk to Bruce, but on the other hand, Dick felt much better knowing that Tim wasn't there. Even if it means that he had to fight this battle for him.

Bruce's jaw was tight as he watched them leave, his hands clenched into fists.  
"I take this as Alfred already knowing about this."

Dick nodded.  
"Yeah."

"Who else knew about this?" Bruce asked as he looked around. There was fire in his eyes, his anger bubbling higher when nobody answered. He repeated again, now raising his voice. "WHO ELSE KNEW ABOUT THIS?"

Slowly Damian, Stephanie and Barbara raised their hands. Cass only shrugged. Dick's eyes widened and even Jason's mouth opened in shock at the latter.  
"Babs?" Dick asked. The woman gave him a sheepish smile.

"Who do you think deleted all that footage of him driving around like a lost puppy?" she asked. Sometimes Dick forgot why she was the most amazing person ever, but these moments reminded him. If angels existed, she was definitely one of them.

Bruce wasn't so keep on it. His face contoured in anger as he turned to Damian.

The boy didn't look scared or even remotely nervous. His face was emotionless.  
"I discovered a week ago," he said without hesitation, holding Bruce's gaze before the man turned to Stephanie.

She couldn't take his gaze the way Damian did, she turned her eyes away.  
"Damian told me three days ago," she answered, fidgeting with her hands. She rocked back and forth slowly.

Bruce took a deep breath through his nose and closed his eyes.  
"Everyone get out," he ordered.

"What?" Damian asked, more enraged than shaken up.

Bruce's gaze was pure fire and anger as he looked at his son.  
"I said get out," he repeated before turning to Dick and Jason. "Except you two."

Stephanie and Barbara looked at each other for a split second before Spoiler glanced towards the stairs. But as Damian walked away in front of them to his bike, the girls also follows his lead. They were not staying in, Gotham needed her vigilantes to patrol. 

Dick watched them go before turning to Jason, but Jason just kept his eyes on Bruce. His posture relaxed, he pulled his hands away from his holsters. On one hand, Dick wanted to find relief in that, but the only thing he could think about was that Jason was ready to blow up. And it won't be like when he was under the pits influence. It was going to be concentrated rage and he was going to tear Bruce apart.

Dick swallowed as the cave closed after the other four rolled out. This was it. Now it was up to him to make sure the other two didn't kill each other and try to make up some kind of peaceful arrangement in the family.

Bruce looked at the spot where the girls and Damian disappeared before he crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked at them. Dick hadn't been on the receiving end of the Bat-glare a lot, but he definitely wasn't enjoying it.  
"What were you thinking?" he asked, his voice barely anything other than a growl. It vibrated through the cave.

"That life is shit," Jason answered, not the least bit phazed.

This only earned him a strict look from Bruce.  
"Don't joke around, Jason. This is serious," he barked. "You kept secrets from all of us, hurting anyone in the process!"

Dick grabbed Jason's shoulder, but he couldn't stop the sarcastic roll of his eyes.  
"Oh, cry me a river. Don't pretend you gave a shit," he said and shook Dick's hand off his elbow when the older gave him a warning squeeze.

"Jason, stop it," Dick asked softly. He got ignored.

Bruce's face contourted into a frown.  
"Don't talk to me this way. You know how we searched for him, how worried everyone was. And you went ahead and sabotaged a murder investigation for weeks!"

Dick shook his head.  
"B, this is not about that..."

"Then what is it about? You ignored everyone's feelings. What it there really was a murderer? You understand what danger you put Gotham in?" he asked, his hands flexing on his arms.

"Not bigger than you have been for the last fucking twenty years!" Jason snapped.

Bruce raised an eyebrow.  
"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you heard me," Jason said, taking a step forward. "You talking about Tim, you realise? Real murderer, my ass. You fucking let the Joker roam Gotham for two fucking decades and you loose your shit when that psychopath gets killed. Well, fuck, that psychopath killed and fucking drove Tim insane. Twice. So don't you fucking dare to be mad at someone for fucking making this shitty city safer!" he was almost shouting by the end of it. His shoulders were squared and he was ready to attack.

Bruce also straightened up to his full height, taking Jason head on.  
"You know exactly why I don't kill. We had this conversation before and we won't do it again. This doesn't justify what you guys have done" he said.

"Oh yeah. Yes, it does," Jason answered. "You fucking realise that you care everything and everyone but Tim right now? This is why we didn't tell you. Because you stop giving a fuck that he hasn't eaten for weeks or that he was tortured in every single way possible the moment the Joker's death came out, or the others spoke up, " he gestured towards the door. " Did you even think what is the best for Tim? "

"Of course I have. Don't you dare question that! " Bruce grabbed the neck of Jason's jacket. At this point Dick didn't even try to step in. He knew he would only get ignored before the other two went back to fighting.

Jason pushed Bruce's hand away.  
"Well I do, because everything seems to be important. We thought of Tim first and I'm glad we fucking did because he sure as hell doesn't deserve this! I don't give a damn if you think jackshit about me, I'm used to it. But I won't fucking let you guilt trip Tim because of what he did," he said, his voice dropping lower. He was now all up in Bruce's face, anger radiating off his body.

This seemed to strike home for the man. Bruce's frown stayed, but Dick saw how his eyes changed.  
" Jason... " he started, his voice a bit softer than before.

Jason shook his head and stepped back.  
"No, you don't get to pull the 'we're family' card right now. I'm gonna go up there and see to Tim. And if I just see you look at him the wrong way or just make a disapproving comment at him, I won't hesitate to pack him up and take him away, and you'll never see either of us again," he pointed at Bruce before starting towards the stairs.

And that was the point Dick truly had to step in.  
"Jason, quit it. Don't say things you don't mean," he warned, getting the younger man's attention onto himself.

Jason's glare burned but Dick stood tall.  
"Well I fucking mean it," he hissed.

Dick let out a sigh.  
"Jay..."

"No," Jason said. "You can try to get this shit together, but I won't. I'm gonna go and calm Tim the fuck down. You do whatever you want." He ran up the stairs, taking two at the time so they wouldn't be able to stop him.

Dick watched him disappear before turning to Bruce. He let out another sigh. He reached up and rubbed the bridge of his nose.  
"Now, can we talk like adults now?" he asked, meeting the pale blue eyes.

"If you're finally going to give me normal answers."

Dick's gaze hardened.  
"We would've from the beginning if you didn't got to the worst immediately," he said, trying to keep his tone as non-confrontational as possible.

Bruce's lips pressed into a thin line. He took a deep breath through his nose before asking in a gentler tone.  
" Why did you keep him away?"

Dick slowly walked to his side and collapsed onto the armchair.  
"Because that was the best for him. And because he asked for it."

Bruce leaned against the desk. His surprise only showed in his eyes.  
"He asked for it?"

Dick nodded.  
"It took me a few moments to get him to talk. His first words were 'I killed the Joker' , followed by 'Please don't tell Bruce'. He was terrified of anyone knowing," he answered. It hurt to even remember those moments. It seemed like it happened a lifetime ago, yet the worry and the pain was still fresh like it happened just yesterday. How sick Dick felt as he uncovered the scars, how hard it was to wash the grime out of Tim's hair.

That seemed to shake Bruce up. His shoulders fell, his lips fell open for a moment before he actually spoke.  
"But why?"

Dick gave him flat look.  
"You're serious? You just fought with Jason about the fact that you seem to care more about that we kept this from you than that Tim was tortured for weeks. You asked about the murder before about how Tim feels," he said, so soft it would have been hard to hear if there was just a smallest sound. He knew he was breaking Bruce down now, but he continued. "Tim watched you fight with Jason for years about killing. He knows your stance on it. And he keeps beating himself up for killing the Joker because of you and because he thinks you will forever be disappointed in him for not finding another way to escape even after what happened." Then he let out a low, humourless chuckle. " He was afraid of what ALFIE was going to think about him. Do you understand how scared he truly was?"

Bruce turned away. He looked at the computer to find something else to focus on, but all he saw was the car that only reminded him of what they were talking about and that the boys were actually right. He shut off the screen before anything else could come forward.  
"And what about the others?" he asked. "Damian? Stephanie? Cass?"

"The more people know the higher chance someone will accidentally spill. And Tim just panics when someone discovers it. The only reason we came here today is because Stephanie told him she knows yesterday and he got scared you will find it out before he can tell you himself what happened, " he answered, running his hands through his hair.

"But you and he both know how worried and hurt they would be when they learn about it," Bruce said again.

Dick closed his eyes. He couldn't decide that Bruce was truly missing the point or he was just trying to make a fool out of himself.  
"Yes, we knew. But we decided to put Tim first. Jason and I decided that Tim's health is more important than how the others feel. And honestly, it's quite worrying that the others and you won't understand that. We put him first, and we would do it again," he said, looking into Bruce's eyes the entire time to make sure the man knew how serious he was.

He saw how Bruce wanted to say something, but he shook his head to shut him up before he could even speak.  
" I know you were hurt and that the others were hurt. But it was hard for us too, not just you," he said and ran his hand over his eyes to hide how his eyes watered before he got himself to look up again. "You didn't see him, B. How dirty and hurt he was. You weren't there every single night when he had a panic attack and couldn't sleep anymore despite the fact that he didn't have strength for anything else. You didn't have to find solutions to feed him when he couldn't stomach anything for over a week. You didn't have to rebandage his scars while worrying that even the fresh bandage would be too dirty for his wounds, "he said and took a shaky breath to steady himself. He shook his head so he wouldn't space out. His vision was blurry from the tears as he tried to look at Bruce again. "We may have known where he was, but it wasn't easy for us either. "

Bruce didn't say anything as he stepped in front of Dick and squatted down. He kept one of his hands on the armrest before he reached up his free hand and ran his gloved fingers through Dick's hair. Just like he did when Dick was a child.

Dick wanted to sob out loud from how the gesture reminded him how safe he used to feel next to Bruce. But that had been over fifteen years ago and so many things happened since then.

Bruce let his hand fall onto Dick's shoulder and he squeezed softly.  
"I'm sorry."

He didn't specify why. For being focused on everything else but Tim? For immediately attacking them? For not thinking about them? Dick didn't know. And honestly, he didn't want to think about it. His head was already hurting from holding back the tears and the tiredness from the last months catching up to him.

His breath hitched as he spoke again.  
"Do you know how hard it was? Worrying about Timmy every single waking moment while thinking about when Jason will have too much? I was so afraid one of them is gonna snap and I wouldn't be there. That it will too much for Jay to handle mentally, and yet he was the only person I had to lean on. Then there was Damian, and I desperately needed to talk to him, but I couldn't leave Tim's side because we already had a scare that he was going to jump off a bridge. So I need to talk to Dami that we trust him and love him, while still thinking about what's best for Tim and watching out for Jason. I'm tired, B. I'm so fucking tired," he closed his eyes and just let the tears fall. He had been fighting too long. He just wanted to rest. For someone finally look out for his mental health too. For someone to take over just for a short moment so he wouldn't have to be the one to make all the decisions. For someone to take off just a little bit of weight off his shoulder.

Bruce's big palm cradled the back of his head and pulled him forward until Dick's forehead was against his shoulder.  
"I know. I'm sorry," he said again. His gloves were hard against Dick's back, but the touch was so familiar... "But we're here now. I've got you, chum. And we'll do this together from now on."

Dick couldn't fight it anymore. The sobs finally broke free as he grabbed Bruce's cape and held onto for dear life.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Apparently this is the last chapter. Somehow it just ended in my head, and no matter how hard I try there's no more chapter. But don't worry, I believe everything is finished nicely. If not, please let me know.  
> AND PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT ONE LAST TIME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

Alfred didn't hesitate to tell Jason where Tim was so the man immediately went to Tim's old room in the manor. He took the guns and holsters off his thighs during his way so by the time he was in front of the room he only had them in his hand.  
He paused in front of the door. He didn't think Tim was too deep into panic right now, but he could never know. If something like last time happened, he wouldn't know what to do about it.

So he knocked. If Tim was okay enough to answer and he was coherent then it should be alright. Then Jason will be able to handle him.

The door muffled the sound but the "Yes?" was clear. Jason opened the door.

Tim was standing right in front of his closet, now finally wearing pants his own size. Dick's sweatpants were laying on his bed, and the boy didn't need to walk on the ends of his pants. But he didn't change out of Dick's hoodie. He continued wearing that, disappearing into the fabric.

Tim seemed almost surprised as he saw Jason.  
"Hey," he breathed softly.

"Hey," Jason answered and put down his guns beside the door. He closed the door answer himself. "How are ya?"

Tim snorted and gave Jason an soft look as he closed the wardrobe door.  
"I should be asking you that," he said, grabbing Dick's pants and throwing onto the chair beside the desk. "Dick told me what happened after Dami came to his place, " he explained and finally met Jason's eyes. "I'm sorry."

Jason raised an eyebrow. He knew this was coming, Tim thought way too bad about himself for this to go differently, but it was still annoying.  
"How many times will I have to tell ya that this ain't your fault?" he asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Tim seemed so small in front of him, especially the way he kept on playing with his hands. Jason let out an annoyed breath as he reached out and grabbed his hand to stop him.

"Sorry," Tim said again. Then quickly tried to change the topic. "What happened down there?" he asked, his eyes betraying how anxious he was.

Jason shrugged.  
"Just the usual shit. Bruce and I fought, Dickie tried to make peace. Right now he's probably talking B around until the man feels guilty enough to buy him a new car," he said. He ran his thumb over the back of Tim's hand and raised it a bit so he could see them. The marks had been getting better before the episode with Damian, but now they were back to the way they were in the beginning.

Tim let Jason hold his hand, completely relaxed in his hold. It was now a second nature for Jason and Dick to hold his hand so he would quit rubbing it.  
"Sorry I pulled you into this mess," he whispered, his eyes still glued to their intertwined fingers.

"It's okay. At this point, I'm good with it just being over," Jason sighed and walked around Tim to sit down onto the bed. He didn't let go of the younger's hand so Tim was forced to follow him. He didn't sit down, he just stood in front of Jason, their knees almost touching.

"At least we don't have to sneak around anymore. I may just well try to leave 'Haven," Tim said, shrugging a little.

Jason frowned.  
"I don't think that's a good idea," he answered. Tim gave him a small smile, looking at Jason again.

"I just think you and Dick could... You know... Spend some time without me," he commented, a small smile settling on his lips.

And Jason had to admit, that surprised him.  
"And why the fuck is that?" he asked, squeezing Tim's hand a bit.

"You know I saw you kissing, right?" he asked, but his smile stayed on his face, so Jason knew he was just teasing him. Yet, he couldn't place the topic anywhere.

"And?"

Tim chuckled softly and swung their hands a bit to the side.  
"And maybe it would be good for you to just, you know, talk about it," he said.

Jason watched him, his face blank. He honestly he didn't want to think that Tim was insinuating what he actually was, but at this point he couldn't deny it any further.  
"Babybird, if you're tryna play Cupid I'm gonna whoop your ass so hard so you won't sit for a month," he said, but his tone didn't carry any real venom. He saw how bad Tim took violence lately, and he wasn't about to trigger him again.

"No, I'm not," Tim shook his head. "Just... Dick and I talked about it," he said, his voice turning a bit pink.

Now that finally caught Jason's attention.  
"Oh, really?" he asked.

"Yeah," Tim wasn't meeting his eyes once again. "And I thought that if you guys actually want it, then I'm not going to be in the way. I think I can stay alone for long enough for you to have a peaceful night," he said. But his face became even redder and that wasn't exactly on board with what he was saying.

"And then why are you embarrassed?" Jason asked. Now it was getting interesting and he was all for having material to tease Tim with later on.

Tim's eyes were glued to Jason's knee as he spoke up.  
"Because Dick and I also have something of an arrangement. We decided not to put a name to it, but yeah... And I wanted you to know that if you want Dick, and you're okay with this, I won't... stop you," he said, his face now almost as red as Jason's helmet.

Jason couldn't stop the predatory smile spreading onto his lips.  
"Yeah? "

Tim nodded.  
" Yeah. "

"So if I wanted to do this, I could..." Jason stated and without giving Tim a chance to react, he pulled the younger into his lap by their joined hands. Tim's breath hitched in surprise and he reflexively tried to lean back, but Jason's free arm came around his waist to keep him in place. Now he was glad he ditched the guns before he came into the room. It would've been harder to get Tim into this position if his legs knocked into the holsters.

"Jason..." Tim's eyes were wide and so incredibly blue even in the dark of the room.

Jason's smirk stayed plastered on his face and he leaned forward enough so their noses were almost touching.  
"Do you know why I kissed Dick?" he asked.

"Because he's attractive?" Tim asked even though he probably wanted to state it.

Jason chuckled deeply and he could feel his Tim shivered in his arms. It was more of an ego boost than he actually needed.  
"Yeah, that too. But the thing is... I don't like to be left out," he said. "Dick kissed you. And if we're living together the way we do, the least you can do is kiss me the way he kissed you," he said, and from how close he was he could clearly see how Tim's pupils widened as he spoke.

"Jay..."

"Yeah, Dick is the most attractive person to ever fucking live. Like damn, that ass and bitch walks around shirtless after shower. I'd have to be blind to not want him," he said and tightened his hold on Tim's waist pulling him flush against his body. "But fuck, Babybird... You're amazing. As shitty cliché as this sound, it's like you were made for me to hold. You're so fucking beautiful," he murmured, because at this point they were so close Tim could hear him, no matter how soft he spoke.

"Jay," Tim started, his free hand coming to rest on Jason's shoulder, playing with the collar of his jacket. "Don't say things you don't mean. We both know neither of us is nearly okay enough to actually handle this well," he said, his hand squeezing the material a bit.

"True," Jason said and leaned forward to press their foreheads together. "But let's face it, we'll never be. We're fucked up for good. So at this point, if I have the chance, I'm gonna kiss you. And I'm gonna kiss Dick. And if you want me to do so, then I will continue doing it until you stop me," he said and closed the distance enough that their lips brushed together but it wasn't a kiss yet. He wanted Tim to close the distance. He waited for him to take the step.

Tim hesitated for a long moment. And Jason was just about to pull away when Tim's hand slid from his collar to the back of his head and he brought their lips together. And it was like a thirsty man finally finding water after days. Jason finally let go of Tim's hand just so he could hold him even tighter. Tim whimpered against his mouth as he wound his arm around Jason's neck, his tongue caressing Jason's lip to make him open up. Jason gave him what he wanted without making him wait for a moment. His hands itched do go further south, but Jason held back as Tim pulled back.

"We really need to talk about this. All three of us," he panted, his eyes hooded as he looked at Jason.

And as much as Jason agreed with him, there were other things on his mind.  
"Hmmm... Maybe later. For now, just put your pretty lips back on mine, will ya?" he leaned forward again and pressed their lips together, Tim following his lead without hesitation.

*****************

Dick's eyes were still burning from the crying the next morning but he honestly felt better. He went to sleep right after he cleared things up with Bruce. He originally headed towards Tim's room, but he saw how Tim and Jason were asleep, cuddled up on the younger's bed. They seemed so peaceful and Dick just didn't have it in him to even give a chance to waking them up by climbing into the bed. So he slept in his own room, as weird as it felt to sleep alone after months.

He checked back into their room when he woke up, but neither Tim nor Jason was in. He let out a sigh and took off towards the kitchen. He could only hope that Jason didn't do good on his threat and packed Tim up so Bruce wouldn't be able to get to them.

He could smell coffee and pancakes before he even entered the kitchen, but that could have been just Alfred preparing for the others. Still, Dick let out a relieved breath when he saw Tim and Jason huddled around the kitchen counter, already munching on their breakfast. Tim was dressed in clothes that were actually his size and Dick almost grimaced. He got to love seeing Tim dressed in his clothes, it almost looked weird they were his own size.

So he wrapped his arms around the boy's shoulder from behind and hid his face in Tim's neck so he wouldn't have to see him like that. But Tim smelled like his own shampoo and shower gel now which may have been even worse than the normal clothes. He made a whining sound against Tim's neck, until the boy reached up and took his hand into his.

"Morning to you too, Dick," he sighed before reaching for his mug again. Dick pressed a kiss to his neck as a greeting.

"What, Dickhead, the bat got your tongue?" Jason asked with a snort, which finally got Dick to look up. He leaned his head against Tim's because the younger didn't push him away as he looked at the man.

"It's was weird sleeping alone," he admitted, holding Tim a bit closer.

Jason lifted an eyebrow as he pushed another bite of pancake into his mouth.  
"Timbo's bed is big enough, you would've fit if ya really wanted to," he said with a shrug as he turned back to his breakfast.

"Young Masters, we can always just prepare a room with single beds so all of you can sleep in the same room if needed," Alfred commented as he wiped his hands into a rug.

Dick smiled at the butler as he let go of Tim so he could sit down on his other side. But even after that, he rested a hand on his knee.  
"I'm gonna be honest, Alfie, I'm so used to having everyone within an arm's reach that may not be close enough," he said, accepting the mug the man offered to him.

"You will have to get back to the normal ways one day, Master Dick," he said with a soft smile before turning back towards the stove.

Dick felt how both Jason and Tim looked at him at that, knowing that the butler couldn't know how their relationship had evolved yet. He shook his head a little and took a sip of the warm coffee. They should tackle one problem at once. For now, going back to the family should be enough for all of them.

The next arms to come around Tim were Cass' as she entered the kitchen. She squeezed Tim tight and waited for him to greet her before walking to the other side of the counter, climbing onto a chair. Then Stephanie came in. For once, she didn't say anything, she didn't try to crack any jokes, she just reached over the counter and interlaced her fingers with Tim's. She didn't look up from her breakfast, she started eating with one hand. Tim didn't pull his hand back, he just let her move around with their hold not breaking apart.

They ate in silence, but nobody seemed bothered by that.

But when Bruce eventually walked into the kitchen, everyone tensed up. After last night, Dick was fairly okay with the man, but he was still worried about how Tim might react. He saw how Jason yanked Tim's chair towards himself with the boy still on it and threw his arms around his shoulders as to show who the boy actually belonged to. His eyes flashed with warning as he took in the man's large form. Stephanie's hold on Tim's hand broke when Jason pulled him aside and she didn't try to reach back for him. She only straightened up and kept looking at Bruce with an unreadable expression.

Bruce cleared his throat before he addressed them.  
"Could you please give Tim and I a moment alone?" he asked. Dick saw how Tim fought to not slouch in on himself to try and appear smaller. He still hasn't turned to look at the man so his expression showed how nervous he actually was.

Alfred raised an eyebrow.  
"Are you sure about that, Master Bruce?" he asked and even though his face and tone were neutral, Dick knew he was now speaking as the man who raised Bruce and was ready to put him into his place if needed. Dick had never been so glad to have Alfred on their side.

Bruce nodded slowly.  
"Yes, I am sure."

Cass was the first one to leave the kitchen, slowly followed by Stephanie who was led out by Alfred, who steered her out. Dick watched Bruce for a long moment and waited until the man actually met his eyes to decide if he was okay with leaving Tim alone with Bruce. Bruce seemed calm enough, maybe a little sad even as he didn't even try to put on a mask to hide his emotions. So Dick gave him an approving nod before getting up from his seat.

"I'll be right outside if you need me," he assured Tim softly and rubbed his arm gently before walking out. They all knew most of the family will be listening by the door, their privacy was only a show.

That left Jason. But he only continued glaring daggers at Bruce, his hold on Tim steady and strong. He made up his mind, they will have to forcefully remove him if he didn't deem Bruce good enough to talk to his Babybird. And even then, there was no way he would go down without a fight and nobody wanted to go against an angry, protective Red Hood first thing in the morning.

Dick gave Jason a pleading look from the door.  
"Jay..." he called out softly. Jason didn't even spare him a glance, he continued glaring at Bruce as he sipped his tea.

"I won't hurt him," Bruce promised. It broke his heart that they were at a point that he had to say that. But it was his own fault and he had to deal with it.

Jason still wouldn't move until Tim eventually turned to him. That was enough to catch the man's attention. When Jason looked at him, Tim gave a small, unsure smile.  
"I'll be okay," he whispered, giving Jason's hand a light squeeze on his shoulder.

Jason pressed his lips into a thin line as he looked back and forth between Tim and Bruce.  
"I don't like this," he stated.

"The longer you wait the longer you'll have to be away," Tim reasoned and that finally seemed enough for Jason to get up. He gave one last glare to Bruce before turning to Tim.

"I'll be in here the second you call out, got it?" he asked, before letting Tim go.

The boy smiled at him.  
"I know."

Dick waited for Jason to actually leave the kitchen before going after him. They stopped the moment they were far enough not to be seen from the inside. Cass was already there, sitting on the floor beside the wall, Damian by her side. He didn't even enter the kitchen in the first place after he saw his father go in.  
Jason leaned against the wall and crossed his arms in front of his chest, clearly fuming.   
Dick gave him a thankful smile before squatting down beside him. Now they could only wait and listen.

They could've found better ways to listen in on the conversation. They were the world's best detectives after all, in a house full of cameras and bugs. But this was still more straightforward about it. Bruce and Tim still didn't have to discuss it right in front of them, but they also didn't worry about where the bugs and cameras were. They knew exactly where the others waited for them. And in their line of work, that was good enough.

***************

Bruce walked around the kitchen counter to pour himself some coffee before he settled down beside Tim. He didn't know how he should start this conversation. He had so many questions, but he knew he couldn't overwhelm Tim. At this point, both of them were way too stressed, neither needed extra nerves added to that. He wanted to move his seat a bit to the side so he definitely wouldn't crowd Tim, but he worried that would come of as distant and cold as if he wanted to put distance between them.

He really needed to get better at this.

It was Tim, who eventually broke the silence.  
"How much did they tell you?" his voice was soft, his fingers playing with the mug in his hands. His hair fell into his face, so from the side Bruce couldn't see his eyes.

Bruce turned to watch his own mug in turn, not even trying to meet to boy's eyes.  
"They didn't give me details. They confirmed that you killed the Joker and that they have been covering it up. And that you asked them not to tell me," he paused for a short second before letting out a sigh. "Which hurts, but honestly... I can't blame you."

Tim hummed softly.  
"And what else do you want to know?" he asked gently

"Anything you can tell me."

Tim let out a small laugh at that.  
"I haven't signed an NDA with the Joker, I can tell you anything," he said, his smile humourless as he finally turned to look at Bruce. It was weird to see him like that. He looked so well-rested and young, exhaustion not plaguing his features anymore. His eyes however seemed older. They showed how all the trauma, fear and experience aged his soul to the point were there was no return. And Bruce knew it was his fault. Tim and all the others now hiding behind the doorframe got to this point because he decided to let them into his life. And that was something he would have to live with, because there was no way to undo it now.

"You know what I mean," Bruce said softly, meeting the boy's gaze. He knew Tim was waiting for something. He couldn't just talk about it, he needed Bruce to ask for it, because otherwise he will never be able to let himself remember everything in detail. He only wanted to forget.   
So Bruce put his hand on Tim's nape and gently started massaging it the way he used to do when Tim spent too many hours slouched in front of the computer, trying to solve a case. "Give me a report, Robin."

He didn't slip into the Batman voice, he kept it gentle. He didn't need to do so in the first place. He knew that that sentence alone was enough to open any of his sons up to him and tell him everything they had to say. He didn't like to use this knowledge, because he felt like he was using his authority over them. But having learned not to trust anyone, sometimes, this was the only way he could get them to talk. This was one of those moments.

He saw how Tim's lower lip wobbled before he turned back to his coffee to hide the way his eyes watered. He took a shaky breath before he spoke up.  
"I was tying up two thugs after they tried to rob and rape a girl in an alley. I called into the police so they would come and pick them up but it was rookie who picked up the phone and he started questioning me before I could tell him where to send the officers. I didn't hear the Joker coming until he hit the back of my head with what I suspect to be a baseball bat. He beat me until I became unconscious. I don't know what happened with the thugs." he took a sip of his coffee to calm himself down.

Bruce continued massaging his neck.

Then Tim set his mug down, his fingers rubbing against the warm ceramic.  
"I don't know how many hours passed until I woke up. I was in an underground room with no windows. My feet and arms were chained to the walls, my mask and cape missing. And there was the Joker," his voice hitched and he stopped talking for a long moment. He stared at the marble of the counter in front of him, the look in his eyes haunted as he relived the moments.

Bruce was just about to tell him he didn't need to say more when he continued.  
"At first, he would just beat me with whatever he had on hand at the moment and said those things you would expect him to say. I don't know when he took me off the wall, but seemed to be a long while because I was in an out of consciousness. Then he cut my suit off me and dressed me into his clothes."

"Didn't the suit go off?"

Tim shook his head.  
"At that point it so trashed none of the gadgets and traps were working anymore," he answered. "Then he just kept painting my face, chocking me until I passed out and he did what he could to brainwash me. When he eventually told me he was going to dunk me into the toxin I was... I don't know. I either died or became him. I broke the chair off the ground and beat him with it, then I left," he said.

Bruce kept up the massage, not knowing what to say.  
"What did he tell you?" he truly didn't want to even imagine what that lunatic could've said to Tim, but he couldn't help without actually knowing what they were up against. Especially when Tim let out a soft sob as he thought back at it.

"He... He kept telling me I was alone. That nobody cared and nobody was looking for me. That I was going to die alone the way Jason did," he said, his voice breaking. His hold flexed on the mug as his whole body trembled, trying to find a single stable point. " And after a while, it was easy to believe him. I was so scared, Bruce and yet nobody came. Not you, not the others, not even Young Justice, even though Kon always told me he listens to my heartbeat when I'm not with them. It was so clear to see that nobody would ever come and help," he sobbed, closing his eyes as he leaned his forehead against the counter to curl into himself. " I don't even remember how I ended up in 'Haven. I just rewired the car on instinct then took off. The next thing I know I was at Dick's place and he was looking at me like he saw a ghost," he said, letting go of his mug so he could wind his arms around himself.

Bruce got off his seat and gently pulled Tim against his chest, curling his arms around the slim body as if that would be enough to shield him from everything that happened.  
"I'm so sorry, son," he whispered against the dark locks as Tim's fragile frame trembled against him. "I'm so sorry."

"I just didn't know what to do. I'm sorry, I just didn't," Tim whispered, his hand curling into fist around his own shirt.

Bruce ran his hand down Tim's back then quickly pulled away when Tim hissed, and put it back onto his nape instead.  
"Nobody would've known. You did what you had to do."

Bruce looked towards the door where he saw Dick and Jason now not even bothering to hide. They were ready to take over from him if they deemed he wasn't handling the situation well enough. But Bruce didn't gave it over, he just rocked Tim until the boy eventually quieted down and pulled away.

Tim wiped his eyes with his hands.  
"I'm sorry. I think I need a nap," he muttered and quickly got out of his seat like it burned him. Nobody commented on how he had just woke up, especially after Jason wrapped an arm around his waist and lead him up the stairs.

Dick gave Bruce a sad smile from the door.  
"It wasn't so hard, was it? If you started like this, it would've been easier," he said and patted Bruce's arms before following Tim and Jason. 

It took him a while to finally pry Jason off Tim as he the man was reluctant to even let the boy out of his arms. But as Tim slowly fell asleep and Jason just couldn't stop fidgeting it was better that he got the man out of the bed before he woke Tim up. He could barely get Jason out of the room before the man was already pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"Alfie will kill you," he reminded the him as he opened the door to his own room so at least that would suppress the smell.

Jason groaned and rolled his eyes but walked to the window and opened it up. Dick sat down onto the bed, knowing better than to try and comfort Jason. Instead he just waited until Jason was through his second cigarette. Then he lifted an eyebrow as he looked at the man.  
"Better?"

Jason didn't say anything to that, but he didn't light another one, so Dick took that as a yes. He stood up and walked to the window, pushing himself up onto the windowsill. His feet tangled in the air as he overlooked Alfred's garden beneath them.

Jason crossed his arms beside him.  
"I'm so happy that fucker is dead, but I wish I could've just trampled his face while he could still feel the pain. Knock every single teeth out of his fucking mouth," his voice dripped with anger, his eyes a bit more green than usual. He was fuming. If anyone, he knew what it felt like to hear those things from the Joker himself. He knew how scary it was to face death alone, when you thought someone would safe you. He may not be a saint, but he didn't want anyone else to learn that feeling. But Tim learned it the exact same way he did and that made Jason angrier than anything.

Dick sighed.  
"I know, but it's kinda late for this," he muttered. "What matters is that Tim is fine and you made sure the Joker can't even be revived. No Lazarus pit can put him back together now," he said and pushed against Jason's shoulder with his own in hope to lighten to mood.

Jason snorted.  
"Yeah, that maybe enough for you, but it sure as hell doesn't help with the aggression," he said, but his shoulder relaxed a bit.

Dick gave him a smirk.  
"Does anything help with you aggression that doesn't involve beating criminals to death?"

"I could list a few things but most of them are too inappropriate to do in the manor," Jason answered, his voice dropping lower as he turned to look at Dick.

Dick saw the way Jason's eyes flashed, but he also knew it was a joke, so he let out a low chuckle.  
"I'm taking Timmy back to Haven right after he wakes up," he said. He tried to keep his voice light, so Jason would take it as a change of topics.

Jason nodded and turned to look out onto the garden.  
"Probably for the best," he said softly, finally not moving away when Dick leaned against his side.

"You're not coming?"

Jason was rather surprised at the question. Dick looked hopeful when their eyes met. His hair was a mess and he was still wearing pajamas. He looked soft in the light that managed to find its way through the thick Gotham clouds.  
"You want me to come?"

Dick nodded.  
"Yeah. I kinda want the domesticity back that we had. Just Timmy, you and me. Just this time with less trauma and vigilante work," he laughed, but it wasn't joyful.

"Ya sound like ya wanna retire," Jason answered, finally turning his body towards Dick as he focused his attention on him. Azure blue eyes met his with a sorrowful look as Dick shrugged.

"I just wish. But I know that neither of us could stay away for long," he said. "I would feel too guilty if I left the city to fend for itself again. And I have a feeling you and Timmy are the same," he explained. He saw how Jason was considering it, before he spoke up.

"Gonna be honest with you, I'm ready to tie Babybird to the bed if he just even considers going back to being a vigilante. I'm not letting him out there for a long ass time, if ever again," he said and in his eyes Dick could see how serious he was.

Dick smiled.  
"I'm in if you're serious about that," he said. "Just come back with us."

Jason gave him a lopsided smile as one of his hands settled on Dick's knee.  
"But I'm not sleeping on your couch any longer. Fuck that."

Dick laughed out loud, finally honest.  
"I think we can arrange something for that. I think you can squeeze in if you're okay with some cuddles," he said.

Jason rolled his eyes.  
"What a horrendous sacrifice. Now, lean the fuck down and kiss me," he all but ordered and Dick complied with a smile. The passion and heat they felt at their first kiss was missing, it was different. Soft and unhurried like they had all the time in the world to do what they wanted.

Dick pulled back just enough so he could speak. He didn't open his eyes.  
"Did Timmy talk to you about this?"

Jason smiled against his lips.  
"Yep."

"Good. Then I don't have to," and he wound his arms around Jason's neck to pull him closer.

***************

"Damn... We only left last night and I feel like it's been years," Tim muttered as he threw his bag onto the floor. They packed him a few of his own clothes, so he wouldn't have to wear Dick's anymore despite the man saying he was okay with it.

"Yeah, B tends to have this effect on people," Jason answered with a snort, not even minding when Dick elbowed him in the ribs for it.

"Don't be mean," he chided, but he couldn't hide how he relaxed the moment the door finally closed behind them.

"I'm not mean, just honest," Jason defended himself as he threw himself onto the couch. The fact that he didn't need to sleep on it again made it so much sweeter to sit on it. It seemed to be so much more comfortable than before.

"He has a point though," Tim added as he followed Jason down onto the couch. The man threw an arm around his shoulder as he smirked at Dick.

"See? The Babybird knows what I'm talkin' about," he grinned and turned on the television, Tim relaxing into his side. They looked comfortable and at home and Dick wanted to smile, but that would only enable Jason's behaviour.

The sound of the doorbell saved him from the embarrassment. Jason made shooing motions with his hand because Dick was the only one standing, so he didn't have other choice but to open it himself.

"Yes?"

Now, Dick wasn't in a position where he could judge, but he wasn't sure those shorts could actually be considered as pants. The girl from the lower floor gave him a sheepish smile as she leaned back a bit, her tank top skintight even though it was cold in the building. Her brown hair was pulled into a messy bun and she had a pickle jar in her hands.

"Sorry to bother, but I just couldn't get this to open, and I was just wondering if you could..." she started, leaning a hit forward as she spoke, her voice high, words pulled out a bit longer than it would've been normal.

Dick wanted to sigh, but that would've been rude. He was sure the look on his face spoke volumes without that anyway. He reached forward for the jar but then he felt two slim arms around his waist and another body pressing against his side.

Tim leaned his head against Dick's arm.  
"Sorry, but he's gay for us," he said softly, before grabbing Dick's outstretched hand and pulling it back to his body.

Jason gave the girl a pitiful look.  
"Next time just take the hint the first few hundred times," he said before he closed the door right into her face.

The girl stood outside for a moment. He didn't know what she should be shocked about first. It was hard to truly decipher the situation at once. But then the door opened again as Jason leaned out. He gave her a fake smile as he grabbed the jar from her.  
"But thanks for the pickles."

Then the door shut with a click.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be completely honest with you, you absolutely blew my mind with this story. The moment I'm typing this note this story has 90! Bookmarks, almost 8 thousand! views and 485! kudos. These numbers are unbelievable for me and I just can't thank you enough for them and for how many comments you left, because I truly feed off on our interactions and even if I may be unable to always answer something good, and truly appreciate every single comment you guys leave.  
> So thank you so much for all the love and attention you gave this story!


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